I became a Mother at the age of 20. I have been in some type of Mommy mode most of my adult life.
Mommy mode is one of my favorite modes. I found that it can be such a fun mode that I have a hard time switching gears and turning it off. I am always a Mother. No matter where my children are and no matter how old they become I will forever be a Mother. Being a Mother is amazing but we get to remember that we are women as well. Sexual, vibrant, fun loving, outgoing, excited about life women. We get to remember that we have a husband who loves and adores us and he will love and adore us even more when we can be more open with our sexual energy. This last week we had no children in the house. The two younger ones went to Grandma and Grandpas for the week and our oldest one is off at college. My husband worked all week and I decided to work right along side of him, helping him and just being with him. When we would get home I wanted to try a few things for myself to see how I would feel. One night I wanted to be topless and see how comfortable I felt as well as being topless in front of my husband. Wow, this was really challenging at first. So many thoughts and beliefs came up and I felt insecure and unsure. How many of us can say that we walk around the house topless? In fact can you look back on your life and remember walking around topless at all, ever? I know that I have had many experiences in my life but I have never been topless for hours. This is really a very eye opening experience. Try it. I know that we all don't have the ability to send the kids to grandmas for a week but there is some way that you can create this environment so you can have this experience. Being vulnerable and being seen is scary but also extremely liberating. If just the thought of doing this creates uncomfortable feelings then start off brushing your teeth topless, doing your hair topless, or if no one is home walk around for a bit topless. We must get comfortable inside our bodies as well as getting comfortable showing our bodies to our husbands. Men are very visual. They like seeing. This may take a some time but we deserve to embrace our bodies and become comfortable expressing our feminine nature. Another night I walked around the house in just a tank top and my undies. I felt more comfortable with this experiment because I feel very confident with my lower body. I have always loved my legs and my butt is finally starting to pop out a bit so this experiment was a little less intimidating. I still felt some uncomfortable feelings at first because clothing is a big part of our lives, right? We very rarely walk around the house in our panties but I want to feel comfortable inside my body as well as comfortable using my body to attract the eyes and attention of my husband sexually. I know he loves me and looks at me sexually even when I am fully clothed but I want to master the art of seduction and this was a step in that direction. Decide today to do something new and something sexual. We want our sexual energy to expand inside of our marriage not shrink. We all want to have amazing sex. This is something that takes time, commitment, dedication and the willingness to get outside of our comfort zones. Sexual energy is our creative energy. Don't be afraid to try new things. Some of these things will be fun and exciting and some of these things will bring up some emotional pain and resistance. Deciding to have an amazing sex life is the best thing you can do for yourself emotionally. It will awaken you to the depths of your core and allow you to process beliefs, feelings and emotions that you didn't even realize are there. Try something new
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Hello
Today I wanted to ask you to take some time to answer some very personal questions. 1~ Where did you learn about sex? 2~ Was sex something that was a positive thing or was it a negative thing? 3~ Did you feel comfortable expressing yourself sexually? 4~ How did you decide to be sexual? 5~ Why did you choose to have sex for the first time? 6~ How did you feel when you watched another person express their sexual wants and desires? 7~ How did your parents respond to you becoming a sexual being? When we are growing up our parents assist us so much in life. They teach us how to walk. They teach us how to talk. They teach us how to say the alphabet and how to sing itsy bitsy spider. They love us and they support us. They watch us grow through school. They watch us become our own person. They support our goals and encourage our dreams. They help us when we fall and cheer for us as we brave this storm we call life. Parents are absolutely amazing. They teach, guide and love us on our own personal journey of self expression and self acceptance. Then one evening as we are getting ready for a girls night out, we hear things like " That top is to tight, those shorts are to short, you are wearing to much makeup, are you looking for every mans attention, and we notice something. We notice the judgment , the guilt, the shame and the embarrassment of our parents noticing this sexual being standing in front of them. Sex is absolutely amazing and terrifying at the exact same time. Some parents may have had an excellent dialogue with their children about their sexual awakening but for most of us our sexual awakening activated so much pain, fear and shame inside our parents. Then our parents doing what they thought was best projected all their sexual guilt and worry onto us. So by asking yourself these questions and taking time to answer them will really assist us in releasing beliefs that no longer serve us in our marriage. We want to be able to awaken slutty sally and feel empowered doing so, not ashamed. A confident, sext, sexual woman is one of the most beautiful things in this world. We are all carrying around this wounded inner child. We get to help her heal. We get to love and accept her. We get to embrace her and tell her that the world is safe and her sexuality can be expressed. Marriage is amazing but it will DIE without great sex. If we are not having great sex or any sex then we are living with a friend. Sex will awaken some deep hidden pain. If we choose to face that pain and lean into it, I promise when you come out the other side, it is worth it. Ask yourself the 7 questions above and answer them. Answer them with an open heart and a loving spirit. I have shared my answers below to each question hoping it will assist you in answering these with no judgment. MY ANSWERS 1~ Where did I learn about sex? I grow up in a household of boys and I was the only girl and the youngest. I would watch my brothers talk so openly about their wants and desires. I would see them looking at sexy magazines and hear them talk to one another. I would also hear the kind of music they listened to. Bands like Naughty by Nature and Too Short. I know my brothers never thought that they were influencing me but they were and this was a huge part of where I learned about sex. I also had friends that had porn and we would get together and watch them. I was disgusted and intrigued at the same time. 2~ Was sex something that was a positive thing or a negative thing? It was a very negative thing when I was growing up. My parents never talked to me about it much and once time in 9th grade I kissed my boyfriend in front of my mom, with tongue, and she was furious with me. I felt so much shame and so much guilt. I always had a strong desire for sexual connection. I loved kissing and making out. I had so many sexual thoughts and dreams, but I always experienced guilt and shame. Sex was definitely a negative thing for me. 3~ Did I feel comfortable expressing myself sexually? I loved expressing my sexual energy. I wore short shorts and tight tops all the time. I loved being wild and crazy. I loved being sexual but I never felt comfortable. I always felt like I was doing something shameful and bad. My sexual energy was something I loved and hated at the same time. I knew boys would love my sexual side so I used it to get approval from them but I was not comfortable with my sexuality I was more troubled with my sexuality. 4~ How did I decide to be sexual? I was born with sexual energy...anyway that's how I feel. I have always been drawn to sexual things. Magazines, movies, music and some people. I was attracted to girls and boys. I remember playing house with a friend and I was the husband. As we pretended to go to bed for the night and went down on her. That was my very first sexual experience that I choose to take part in. 5~ Why did I choose to have sex for the first time? I choose to have sex for the first time because I felt as thou I really loved my boyfriend. We did end up staying together for 2 years and I have no regrets when it comes to sharing myself with him. 6~ How do I feel when I watch another person express themselves sexually? Wow, this one has so many answers. I feel excited and embarrassed. I feel awakened and like I want to hid at the same time. I feel love and I feel judgment. I feel insecure and self conscious. I feel alive and nervous. I feel ashamed and I feel like I may learn something. I feel both the light and the dark inside activate. It comes with such duality that it has been something I have been working on for years now. 7~ I already addressed this in my blog. These answers can really bring light to your sexual wants, desires and beliefs. For us to awaken to the sexual beings that we are we must shine a light on places we have choose to keep dark. Don't judge, blame or shame anyone or anything. Just notice what comes up and release it. We must release We must forgive We must awaken our sexual selves and know that we are adults now ,who can choose to be empowered and pleasured inside our sexual energy. There is no need to hid or shrink. There is only a need to expand and explore. Here is to becoming a woman of love, light and sexual yumminess! Lets face it. Our physical body is a huge focal point when it comes to sex.
I know we have all heard that sex is one of the most spiritual activities we can do but if we feel extremely uncomfortable inside our bodies we will never be moved spiritually! When we are being physically intimate and sharing ourselves with our partner there is no way we can fully enjoy ourselves if we are feeling fat, miserable and shameful about our bodies. Our bodies are the pleasure center that is at the core of experiencing amazing sex If we feel sad, mad, disgusted, upset or embarrassed about our physical body then we will automatically repeal pleasure. We will run the program and core beliefs that we do not deserve to feel pleasure until our body is absolutely perfect in our own eyes. We will choose to shut down our ability to feel orgasmic, excited and aroused. This belief does not serve us in any way, shape or form. I have found that we can change our thoughts and this belief will definitely shift. We can choose to see ourselves as beautiful, amazing sexual creatures that deserve to have fun and experience pleasure. We can install new hardware inside our minds so we talk to ourselves in an empowering and positive way. This will increase our ability to receive pleasure as we will no longer have so many awful thoughts about ourselves. We must take steps to increase our happy hormones and feel better about ourselves! I have been working out consistently for 53 days now. I have been lifting weights, eating fairly healthy and doing some cardio ( I hate cardio). Since Oct 29th I stopped eating any animal products and my body is really loving that. We must take action to find out what makes our body happy. When we are happier inside our body then we are happier inside the bedroom. Exercise is amazing at creating self confidence. When we choose to do something for ourselves then we feel empowered and motivated. Exercise assist in producing happy and healthy hormones in the body. Exercise also increases testosterone , which increases the desire for sexual connection Exercise is an amazing anti depressant. I personally have never felt sad after a workout Exercise is a must if you are wanting to experience great sex! Choose today to take action and get moving! Make a commitment to start doing some strength training. Lifting weights creates definition and creates a feeling of power Lifting weights creates hope and inspires dreams What the mind can achieve the body will believe Commit to yourself You are worthy and deserving of feeling amazing inside your body. The bedroom will be full of pleasure We can take steps towards creating more pain or we can take steps in creating more pleasure Our marriages will flourish and feel more satisfying if we are satisfied in the bedroom We must take all the steps that we can take personally to create this sexual fulfillment inside our own mind and body The bedroom is the adult playground. Choose today to love that playground as get as much joy and satisfaction out of it as you can. We have to figure things out along the way. We have to shift our core beliefs about ourselves and about who we are sexually We must choose all in. We must choose to journey to amazing sex. I promise you the journey is absolutely, mind blowingly worth it! p.s. I know that blowingly is not a word but it fits. Amazing sex is mind blowing. As I am reading my book, The big fun sexy sex book, it talks about the new hot thing in the world called Choreplay. Choreplay is referring to men doing chores around the house and as he pitches in, us girls will get sexually stimulated. Not on the spot but later in the bedroom we will be more connected to our man because he has helped out around the house.
I am all for my husband helping out around the house. I love it when he does the dishes, cleans up the kitchen, helps fold laundry, vacuums, and makes the bed. I love that he wants to make sure he is not taking advantage of having a woman around the house. I love that he will get up and pitch in....but this never turns me on sexually. I am grateful. I am happy. I am thankful. I am never turned on, or feel sexually stimulated in any way when it comes to him doing chores around the house. Now I do get sexually stimulated when he mows the lawn, washes the cars, fixes the disposal, changes the oil, trims the trees and does any other thing that shows his masculine strength. I love watching my man mow the lawn. I find it very attractive. He is sweaty, his biceps are tight, his sunglasses are on and he is out doing something manly. ( I know many women mow the lawn, hell I mow the lawn but when my guy does it I notice the yummy masculine energy). So if we want to be turned on when our man does chores around the house, we must notice that he is doing something nice, kind, and sweet. We must take a moment and think consciously that we have an amazing husband who is doing something kind and giving. Then we must have a sexual thought. Something like, Now that he washed the dishes, I'll show him what dirty is really like. A sexual thought must be created in this moment or we will just take it as a kind gesture and move onto the next thing. It is not natural for men to want to do house chores. Since the beginning of time the women stayed home and took care of the family and the man went out to hunt, gather and provide protection. I know that times have changed but we still must make an exerted effort to tell our man thank you for helping out around the house and then thinking some type of yummy , sexual thought. Also it is a great habit to get into to just tell your guy, Thank you for providing for the family and taking care of us. I make sure I tell my hubby this at least 3 times a week. Choreplay may bring some stimulating energy into your relationship. You first must take note of the act, be grateful for his help, and then think a sexual thought that will activate sexual energy. I know that it can become so easy to take one another for granted, get in the habit of focusing on the good, focusing on the helpful gestures, focusing on what you love about this man and then sharing yourself with him physically, mentally, spiritually and sexually. When we first start dating it seems so easy to feel comfortable expressing our girly figures. We focus on the art of seduction. We take time to make sure our legs are shaved, our bikini area is waxed and we smell absolutely delicious. We plan our outfits, make sure our hair looks amazing, our make up is done nicely and we have fun creating the canvas of feminine art. We focus on the beauty that we want to share and our feminine essence which we know will hook a man and drive him to want us.
FAST FORWARD 15 YEARS, 3 KIDS, 2 DOGS, FINACIAL GAINS, FINANCIAL LOSSES, MOOD SWINGS, BAD DAYS, GOOD DAYS, DAILY STRESS, NIGHTLY RITUALS, FAMILY DUTIES, TAKING THE KIDS HERE, TAKING THE KIDS THERE, WATCHING NETFLIXS, SEEING THE GOOD SIDE, SEEING THE NOT SO YUMMY SIDE AND WHOLA.... WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU TOOK THE TIME TO CREATE YOUR FEMININE ART FOR YOUR MAN? I know that the instant I ask this question there will be an immediate story run inside your brain that says something like this " When is the last time my man did something romantic for me?" I want to answer this with another question. Do you agree that we should not fight fire with fire? We must commit to creating something exciting inside our marriage. Sex and sexual chemistry is super exciting. I strongly believe that as women we have the power to transform our marriage into something magical. To create something magical you first need a few ingredients. 1- Excitement to create something new 2- Passion to show up fully in your feminine essence 3- Confidence, even when you feel unsure....there is magic in getting uncomfortable 4- Love for yourself and for your man 5- Willingness to explore new terrain in the bedroom It is so easy to forget how powerful this piece is in marriage. The sex and sexual yumminess deserves to be a focus. We must commit to remembering how amazing we are, how beautiful we are, how sexy we are. Our husbands want us to want to share this with them. They want to feel desired. They long to feel wanted. They love to feel our feminine bodies. I know that it is challenging with all the daily things that are taking place in our life. Just commit to one day. Try this just one time and see if it creates a feeling of power, love, confidence, and arousal. Pick a day and create your feminine canvas. Turn yourself into the yummy goddess you know you are. Allow yourself to have fun with this. It will create some butterflies in your stomach. Remember butterflies in the stomach? You can still experience this after years and years of marriage. You now get to create it. Step outside your comfort zone in the bedroom and do something erotic. You will feel alive. You will feel inspired. You will feel passionate. You will feel like the sexual diva you are!
Are you ashamed of your sexual wants, thoughts and desires?
I have noticed that if we feel ashamed of our sexual side then we want to box it up and place it high up on a shelf...out of sight, out of mind. We want to make sure that this sexual energy is kept under control. When we feel ashamed we feel emotions such as depression, shame, guilt, anger and many others. If we feel we are not safe expressing and/or owning our sexual energy then of course we would just suppress it. The more we push our sexual thoughts, desires and wants down the more they completely consume us. They consume us in a secretive way. In ways such as getting mad the kids for little things, attacking our spouse with hurtful words or a mindless conversation, feeling worthless, eating ourselves into a world of numbness and filling the void. Our sexual energy is our creative energy. We are sexual beings. Having sexual wants, thought and desires is 100% normal and natural. We may not act out every thought, want or desire but it is completely acceptable to allow yourself to feel and connect with your sexual self. Here are 3 ways that can assist you in opening up to your sexual thoughts, wants and desires. Spend 5 minutes each day thinking about your sexual side
We dedicate time to so many things. Taking the kids to school, doing the laundry, washing the dishes, reading a book, making dinner and so many other things. I would love for you to consider the possibility of spending time getting in touch with your sexual wants, thoughts, and desire. Take 5 minutes and allow yourself to tap into your sexual energy. What we focus on expands. We want to be focusing on being sexually fulfilled and showing up in a space of love, peace and sensuality. Take time and meditate and add an extra 5 minutes to tap into your sexual wants, thoughts and desires.
Work your core as well as kegels
We work out for so many different reasons. Did you know that exercise creates better sex. The core is the place where our sexual energy resides( this energy also resides in the heart but we open up our heart through love and trust). When we are doing physical workouts commit to a different workout routine 2 times a week. Add some hip thrust and some deep core work. Do 50 kegels a day. The vaginal muscles are just that muscles. They deserve a great workout as well. The rewards are two fold here as you will experience more sexual pleasure but you also increase your chances of not having to wear depends when you get older! We must dedicate time to strengthen our sexual muscles.
Do something exciting
There is nothing else that will shut down your sexual wants, thought and desires as boredom will. Create something sexy. Create something spontaneous. Create something sensual. I am not saying that this will be the most comfortable thing to do. Anytime we do something out of the ordinary we can feel nervous, excited and a little uncomfortable. When we do something out of the ordinary in the bedroom we create excitement. Think of anything in your life. When you are bored you feel bland and dull. Now think of something exciting in your life. Even if it was putting yourself out there I know it made you feel alive. The bedroom is a place where getting uncomfortable and actually become the best decision you made. I remember the 1st time I did a pretty naughty strip tease for my husband. I was a nervous wreak. I actually drank some alcohol to calm my nerves but all this did was make my dancing a little more tipsy. Still I created excitement and something new in our marriage and still to this day my husband and I can remember that amazing strip tease. Do something new and do something fun. I promise you will be happy did.
Have you ever felt intense anger during sex?
Have you ever felt tears of sadness during sex? Have you ever felt like giggling during sex? Have you ever felt numb during sex? Have you ever felt extreme love or extreme hate during sex? I wanted to ask you these questions as I have experienced all of these emotions during or after sex. In our culture we are taught that sex should only be filled with pleasure and maybe a bit of pain if you and your partner are into that. We are taught that to feel emotions other then pleasure means that something is wrong with us sexually. We hear messages that create shame and guilt inside of us if we feel any of the above emotions I have mentioned. I wanted to share my emotional history with sex in the hopes that it will assist you in feeling more connected to your sexual soul. I always have enjoyed being sexual. I haven't always enjoyed sex but I have always enjoyed being sexual. When I was younger I know the power of my feminine body. I knew that if I wore tight shirts and booty shorts I could get a lot of attention. This longing for men's attention came because of my first connection with a man. My biological father abandon me at a very young age and would also deny that I was even his. Even thou this happened at such a young age it completely altered how I interacted with men. I longed for men to want me, to love me, to need me and to approve of me. I knew that my sexual energy would be the easiest way to get that approval. I enjoyed sexing myself up to go out on the town. This method never failed I always found someone to fill this aching emptiness. I would love the laughter and the connection. I would reach out in the hopes that they could make me feel whole again. The night would go on and we would dance, laugh, have a drink and then make out. (When I was younger I was afraid of sex itself so that kept me a bit safer. I would have slept with many men searching for this approval if I didn't have this underlying fear). My biological father was a raging alcoholic and he was extremely abusive. I am sure this is where my fear of sex came from. He would force himself on my mom in a brutal way so this made me fearful of sex. Anyway. I spent many a nights trying to find this approval, this love that I thought only a man could give me. When I was 17 I fell in love. His name was Eddie and he made me feel complete. He made me feel special. He made me feel wanted. He made me feel loved. How I attracted him into my life would only make sense, his mother was an alcoholic. He could relate to my pain and we used each other to fill the silence of a disconnected parent. He assisted me in covering up my issue of abandonment and rejection and I assisted him in covering up his issue of lonliness and despair. So about a month went by and we finally had sex. I had an orgasm in about 1 minute. I didn't know what an orgasm with a man felt like. I had masturbated for years but had no idea I was giving myself orgasms. So when he gave me an orgasm something happened and I felt shame, guilt and shock. For the next 10 years I never experienced an orgasm through penetration alone. I went years with attaching so much to my ability to not have an orgasm with penetration alone. I had no one to talk to I just had my own thoughts that created a feeling of darkness and hatred. So I am now married and have been for 15 years. I have been working on releasing many emotions that I have around sex. Here is the first experience I had that I know that sex could and is so healing. One night Jeff and I wanted to try something new in the bedroom. I asked him at dinner if he would kind of be a bit forceful with me and really use some aggressive energy. The night went on and I had forgot about our dinner conversation. We were laying in bed and we started wrestling and I was laughing and giggling. He then reached over, slapped me pretty hard and threw me on my back. He was doing what I had asked him but it didn't go down like I expected. When he slapped me I started to sob. This was a cry so deep, so intense, so painful. I cried and cried for about 30 minutes. This experience assisted me in realizing that sex is extremely healing. Some of this pain was my own for going so many years searching for approval but some of this energy was from my mother. Generational energy that was trapped inside me. I am thankful for that experience. I am also thankful for the ability for me to realize that feeling, expressing and healing my emotions during or after sex is completely normal. I still have moments when I feel like crying after sex and so I do. It has nothing to do with the sex itself. It has to do with the emotions that sex brings up and if we just suppress these then sex will never be enjoyable. It is absolutely acceptable to feel joy, anger, sadness, laughter and any other emotion that comes up while we are being sexual. Sex is the most amazing thing and when we are having a sexual relationship with our spouse, someone who hopefully we feel safe with, we are going to have these emotional experiences. Release your need to be perfect in the bedroom. Its okay to be a hot mess. Laugh, cry, kick, scream and love yourself through the process of sexual emotional healing. You are absolutely amazing and you deserve to feel comfortable expressing your sexual emotions. Don't shut down. Don't run. Show up. Embrace who you are and allow yourself to be transparent and loved. This morning after I worked out and had my morning ice coffee I opened my email and found this little gem inside awaiting for me to open it.
" several of us girlfriends were reading your self love posts, you fall short every time admission on masturbating, and sidestep it a bit. do you or don't you condone or condemn it. We girlfriends speak often of it with each other, around each other, who does or doesn't, who does or doesn't with or without or in front of or in private with boyfriends or husbands even. I think your Utah roots maybe make you too conservative to actually say or admit, but it may free you more. may help your orgasmic journeys!" The above statement was from someone who reads my blog. What she states is absolutely true. I closed my eyes for a moment and thought why did I received this message? Here is my answer. I believe that self love is so important when it comes to the bedroom. I believe that loving our whole body is extremely valuable when it comes to receiving pleasure. When I write about the power of caressing and cherishing ourselves it doesn't often include masturbation as a topic as I don't want my message to get bull dozed by the word masturbation. Being able to enjoy caressing your neck , breast, stomach, thighs and hips can really open up the sexual center of our being. Soft touches and loving glances are amazing when it comes to self love. Being able to touch our own bodies is a must when it comes to receiving sexual pleasure. As for masturbation.... I am no longer going to side step this topic. Wow... I am feeling some resistance when it comes to writing about this, noticing it and releasing it, I am going to just push through and be transparent. First off let me tell you that I love to masturbate. I enjoy touching my own body and satisfying myself in the most feminine of ways. I know exactly what I like and how to build my sexual energy so it is flowing in the most orgasmic way. I use masturbation as a healing tool. I repeat statements such as " I love you Cameo, You are cherished and you are loved, You are safe to show up in the world". Sometimes I masturbate because I am feeling all this built up energy and I feel like an orgasm will create an internal environment of peace. Of course anytime I watch porn alone I masturbate, although I have released porn for the last 6 months or so. I notice I use porn to tap into the angry emotions I have when it comes to my sexual self. I like porn that is rough and maybe even a bit brutal so I have decide to release it from my life for now. I also can masturbate with nothing on my mind whatsoever. I love to tap into my sexual energy and show myself some amazing self love. I started masturbating at a very young age. I masturbated every time I took a bath when I was a little girl. I would scoot my bottom down and put my legs up and whola, the magic of water. H2O brought all my sense to life. I always felt so much shame and so much guilt. Masturbation wasn't something I felt comfortable with, I just knew it felt amazing. I was a bathtub masturbater. I still enjoy a little shower fun every now and then but I really enjoy taking time and really loving myself. I don't masturbate in front of my husband as I would rather he please me with his masculine essence. Sometimes I do a little light teasing but that is all, just enough to drive him wild. Masturbation is a personal choice. If it is assisting you in feeling more connected, more grounded and allowing your sexual energy to be more free then I would absolutely suggest you masturbate . Masturbate just enough to keep this part of you turned on but don't masturbate so much that you lose your interest in your husbands magic wand. If you masturbate and you feel tremendous shame and guilt then you want to take some time and self reflect. Shame and guilt are two of the lowest vibrations. We want our vulva's and vaginas to be vibrating at the highest frequency but we must move up the scale. So allow yourself some room. Allow yourself some space to discover what you like and who you are when it comes to your sexual soul. We carry tremendous pain in our vagina's and we must decide to work through this intense pain so we can get to our paradise. Masturbation may be that key and it may not but you get to decide for yourself. No matter what you decide know that you deserve to love your body and to love your life. You deserve to enjoy your feminine energy as well as your masculine energy. You deserve to have a connection to the orgasmic woman or man that you are. No shame, no guilt, no right, no wrong, just self discovery at its finest! When we think about sex we may have many emotions and beliefs pop up. Take a moment and think about some of the beliefs and emotions that you have personally about sex. Some of these emotions and beliefs are positive but I bet about 90% of the beliefs and emotions that come up have some heavy negative energy. This energy keeps us stuck in a place of not fully embracing the love we want to have for sex. No one ever wants to have emotions or beliefs of negativity when it comes to our erotic nature. We all long for peace, passion and pleasure.
I have noticed the beliefs and emotions that we personally have around who we are as a human being are showing up in our sexuality. So when we feel depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, abandoned, worthless, fearful and unworthy we feel this exact same emotion in the bedroom. These emotions of who you are and are not DESERVE to be released and shifted into positive, beautiful ,amazing beliefs. Every morning when you wake up speak words of passion, pleasure and peace to yourself. Take time to acknowledge who you are and see all the divine beauty you bring into this world. Caress yourself with a soft, gentle touch and feel the uplifting vibration of your sexual energy awaken within you. Slowly caress your luscious fingers and your delicate hand. Feel what it feels like to have a gentle touch and enjoy it. If you can't even enjoy your own personal touch there is NO WAY in hell you are going to enjoy your spouse touching you. Caress your forehead, your cheek bone and softly go over your beautiful lips. Loving the touch. Loving the movement. Loving the expression of enjoying your physical body. Caress the curvature of your neck and the upper part of your bodacious breasts. Allow yourself to linger there for a moment and think sexy thoughts. Slowly move down your breast to your nipples, no need to pinch, pull or squeeze just allow your hand to touch yourself in a very light fluid way. The breast are so beautiful. So amazing. So fucking sexy. Go from there and slowly run your hands up and down your mid sextion. Your belly holds a lot of sexual energy. This energy can be amazing and uplifting or this energy can be holding you back from experiencing all the pleasure you deserve. Allow yourself to let this energy move into you or out of you. Take some time caressing your belly and loving your body for all she is. Now it is time to move to the hips. Wow...women have amazing hips. So beautiful. So powerful. So Pleasureful. Take a moment and slowly caress your hips, thighs, buttock and vagina. Soft and gentle just a very light touch. Speak words of love. Speak words of passion. Speak words of pleasure. Speak words of awakening.( you can do all this over your clothes or completely naked, its up to you) Awaken and love yourself and this will transfer over to the bedroom. Take time every morning to love yourself and get comfortable with your own touch. I promise the more you caress and love yourself the easier it will be to allow your lover to touch and caress you. Soon you will love your own touch as well as longing and loving your lovers touch. Okay ladies, lets get real honest here. When it comes to our sexuality there is no right and wrong, good or bad, black or white, wholesome or trampy. Even if we were taught to wait until we get married to explore our sexuality then we can all scream with excitement because now we are married.
For years I have been on this road to sexual self discovery. I am still traveling down the road but I feel like I have a good solid map and know exactly where my destination is. SEX IS NOT BLACK OR WHITE When it comes to Mrs. Vagina she can be all about right or wrong and good or bad. She can quickly shift through and sort through many emotions and many actions and then determine if this is a good and acceptable emotion or if this is an unacceptable emotion and she should feel bad for even having the thought. When I lived by this rule in my marriage I was slowly dying inside. I wanted to get so fucking wild in bed but my good girl side would say " that is unacceptable".I wanted to explore my sexuality with my husband but my good girl would say "just do your wifely duty and it will be fine". I wanted to feel orgasmic in bed, not just a little orgasmic I wanted to experience what it felt like to completely surrender. To be so engulfed in the sexual expression of mine and my husbands love for each other that I lost myself totally in this beautiful, amazing mind blowing sex but my good girl side would say "just be happy with having an orgasm". I wanted to suck my husbands dick in the way that he only dreamed of but my good girl side would say " just go up and down in a steady motion and he will enjoy it". So my good girl and I came head to head. I listened to her feelings and understood how she felt and she listened to my feelings of wanting to explore more and express my true sexual nature. We fought back and forth for years and finally we have came to an agreement. WE BOTH WIN! I can have amazing sensual, soft , sexy sex and be perfectly happy in this space. I can have a mind blowing fuck session where my husband is able to express his sexual dominance and I can be perfectly happy in this space. I can have a 5 minute quickie and feel happy in that space or my husband and I can express our passion towards one another for hours and I am happy in that space. I can express my sexual creativeness by sending a naughty text or a wild picture and I am happy in that space or I can send a text of sadness and a picture of vulnerability and be happy in this space. Sex is an amazing expression of everything we are. There should be no limit to what you want to experience and how you want to experience it...as long as you and your husband agree then anything goes. Stop putting so many damn labels on who you are and who you are not in the bedroom. Start taking steps to express your wants and desires. Start loving your hot and wild thoughts and share those with your husband. You deserve to embrace your sexual self. Explore...Experiment...Enlighten your sexual self! |
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