*Lust is not love. When woman says
" I love him, I just don't know if I am in love with him". They really mean
..."I don't know if I am still in LUST with him. Lust dies in every
relationship. Look at all the drop dead gorgeous men and woman that get cheated on. Hugh Grant cheated on Elizabeth Hurley with a really disgusting
prostitute(she looked scary). We are human and when the lust dies we feel as
thou we are missing something. If we seek this lust then the cycle will just
keep recreating itself. Lust can fuel great sex leaving us filling satisfied and
excited but when lust is gone sex can feel very disconnected and become another
thing that causes pain in our marriage instead of pleasure. Lust fades but
DESIRE...this can be the foundation of amazing sex in a marriage. If we desire
great sex and put in the effort and dedication to creating great sex then magic
can happen. Sex is a complex subject and the more we know and learn the more
confident we can feel. I would suggest to commit for 1 month to be sexually
intimate at least 4 times a week...even if you are tired. The sexual connection
you once felt will slowly return and it will feel as thou you have unlocked a
mystery of how to feel truly content in your marriage. If you are not connected
sexually then you will look for any way out. Sex connects and grounds you as a
married couple.

*A strong sexual appetite as a woman is amazing if we are using these fantasies and thoughts to fuel our
connection with our spouse. When we start having fantasies we HAVE to make sure
that our husband is the one in the fantasy fulfilling our desire. When we start
placing an actor, a neighbor or the cute man that stock shelves in the grocery
store we are automatically placing strain on our sexual connection with our
spouse as they will never live up to that fantasy. I know that fantasies and
sexual thought are a great thing just always make sure your spouse is the one
you are dreaming about. They are the only ones in reality that can play these
desires out with you so start it off right in your head. Then create the scene
and surprise your spouse. Tell your spouse what excites you and see if they are
willing play. I know that men really want to please their wife so just share
with them what you would like and I am sure that he will be more then willing to
play with you.

 *Perception is a huge key in finding your hubby attractive, sexy and
wanting to worship and caress every part of his body. If we are not constantly
finding the yumminess in our husband and we are only looking and searching for
all his faults then there is no way in hell you are going to be sexually
satisfied by this man. We really get to find the things that at one time we
found so attractive and bring these things back to the forefront of our thought
process. Here is a good way to remember this .. we have two wolves inside our
hearts one that is vicious and cruel and another that is loving and
kind...which one will win? The one we feed~ Louise Minister 
I love this as it is the same in marriage. If we
are looking to serve and love then our marriage will flourish...now take this
thought process into the bedroom and serve and love every inch of your husband
and both of you will create a connection that is so
amazing.

*Power struggle....this could be something that is causing a disconnect
in the bedroom. Some woman have some hurts in their hearts and then a power
struggle is unconsciously played out in their marriage. We do not want to be
completely vulnerable and want to control every aspect of the marriage and sex
can be all controlled by a woman if she wants to control
it.

 *Then my last thought is to take the orgasm part of sex(for her)out.
Woman at times can feel so much pressure to make their husband feel like an
excellent lover by focusing on having an orgasm. This will disconnect the woman
from being present and from being completely relaxed. I am not saying that she
should never have an orgasm but try this a few times and see if it creates more
of a connection of love, peace and total acceptance with no expectations in the
bedroom. Sex is an art, a dance, an energy exchange and is so spiritual and all
knowing but when pressure accompanys sex, then it is very physical , with no
lust very physical superficial sex can leave you feeling sad, lonely and completely
disconnected