Sex is an express of love, passion, pleasure and playfulness. Sex is amazing and can be absolutely liberating...when we allow it to be. We live in a society where there is so much duality when it comes to expressing ourselves in a sexual way. One of the first words I think of when the word sex is mentioned is ...judgment!
There is so much judgment attached to everything in the world but when it comes to sex there is a MASSIVE amounts of judgment and confusion. We see things in a black or white. Right or wrong. Good or bad. Sinner or Saint. WOW...when we think about our sexual self what are words that come up for you? When you see the word SEX what is the first thought or word that comes to your mind? Do not label this thought or word. Just feel it and then release it. Sex is a deep subject and most of us took the course with so many opinions, to much judgment and not enough sexual acceptance. While blossoming sexually we received many different downloads. We heard so many messages, we witnessed others reactions to sexual material. We were pulled this way and pushed that way and most of us have ended up very sexually confused. We heard messages such as
There are so many more examples but this is just a few to get you to become aware of all the messages you received while discovering who you were sexually. Just because a girl is comfortable with expressing her sexuality does not mean she is a slut. Just because a man expresses his desire to discover all the pleasures of his sexual self does not mean he is a pig.
We are sexual beings. Women have a part on their body for one purpose and one purpose only. Sexual pleasure. The clitoris is not needed to procreate. The clitoris is not requires for childbirth. The clitoris is not used for urination. The clitoris is for sexual pleasure and sexual pleasure only! WOW...We were created with this amazing sexual tool and with the right tender loving care the clitoris is a mechanism for orgasmic pleasure. This is so amazing. So when you feel like you should not enjoy sex, remember God gave you a specific gift. The gift of the clitoris. We as women are designed with a little hood on the top of our vagina for orgasmic pleasure! WOW...just said a silent prayer thanking God for this gift!
Do not judge yourself when it comes to who you are sexually. Sexuality is a beautiful thing and deserve no judgment. Just allowance! Allow yourself to be who you are when it comes to sex. If you want to be reserved and a little shy! Then that is perfect. If you want to be wild and crazy! Then that is perfect. If you want to discover all the wonders of your sexual self! Then this is perfect. If you want to be embarrassed sexually. Then that is perfect. NOTICE...I used the word want. These are all choices we get to create. I personally created a decision to get very comfortable with my sexual self and I felt called to share my message and mission with the world. I want to have an amazing sex life with my husband. My husband loves sex. He is sexually driven, as most men are, and the greatest gift I can give him and the greatest gift I can give myself is for me to love sex as well. It is a constant focus in my marriage.
Here is 3 tips to take the judgment out of sex.
1. Next time you see something sexual notice what comes up for you. Don't judge it , just notice it.
2. When you see someone wearing something seductive choose to be positive and see the beauty in the sexual expression.
3. When you hear something sexual notice what comes up for you. Don't judge it, just notice it.
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If I took a poll surveying 100 women , asking the question " Do you have an orgasm effortlessly during sexual intercourse on a regular basis?" Most women would probably say No. Once in a while , being in the perfect position, with the correct rhythm and every sense on high alert an orgasm can happen effortlessly for a woman but the majority of the time...effort is required. When women are feeling frustrated sexually, I am sure that most of this frustration is coming from the lack of having orgasmic sex on a regular basis.
Sex in itself is beautiful and very fulfilling. There are times that I have sex and feel completely satisfied without reaching my orgasmic state. I love being passionate with my husband and I love sharing myself with him in the most sensual and seductive ways. BUT I find myself very sexually frustrated if I stay in this space to long. Being a woman, with three kids, there are times that I please my husband really quickly in the bathroom, say while he is brushing his teeth. I enjoy this erotic moment and I am perfectly content making sure he is sexually satisfied and I love to throw the power of surprise into my marriage. But if I don't take the time to make sure that I am creating space in my sexual relationship with my husband to reach orgasm then sex becomes something that is enjoyable but it is like eating a bowl of ice cream without a spoon. The spoon helps you thoroughly enjoy every bite of the ice cream. Orgasm is a release for woman as well as men. We have all heard men state that they feel a pressure release inside themselves when they reach orgasm. Women have this some sexual tension built up inside of them but most women don't want to be honest with their man when it comes to sex and orgasm. I am telling you right now girls if you are not reaching an orgasmic state at least 50% of the time that you have sex then sex will become something that you no longer enjoy.
An orgasm is so powerful and so intense that to me, it feels like it awakens every single cell in my body. It puts me in a space of complete serenity and I feel so blessed to have a husband that takes the time to make sure I have an orgasm no matter how long it takes and no matter what he has to do. My husband knows the power of a wifely orgasm. Sex is AMAZING....and sex with orgasm is even more amazing. So if you have been to shy to tell your husband that your are not reaching an orgasmic state on a consistent basis then now is the time. I promise you, it may be a blow to his ego and it for sure will be if you have been faking orgasm and he thinks that he is a sex stud but it will be so worth it in the long run. Get comfortable asking for pleasure. Most women achieve orgasm via clitoris stimulation. Make sure that the clitoris is part of your sexual voyage and you will both be singing in orgasmic tones.
Orgasms are for men and women. Women deserve to have orgasm just as much as men do. I feel lighter on my feet, happier in my heart and a peace in my soul when I have experienced the pleasure of an orgasm. Orgasm in an amazing thing for both parties. I just want to remind men and women that the female orgasm is just as much part of the bedroom as the male orgasm! Commit to making sure each one of you is satisfied in the most orgasmic of ways! It will strengthen your marriage! I promise!
1-How do you feel about yourself?
2- How do you feel about your body?
3-How do you feel about your sexual energy?
4-How do you feel about your sexual beliefs?
5-How do you feel about receiving love?
6-How do you feel about giving love?
7-How do you feel about your past sexual experiences?
8-How do you feel about your current sexual experiences?
9-How do you feel about your willingness to be vulnerable?
10-How do you feel about men? How do you feel about women?
11-How do you feel about receiving pleasure?
I could go on and on with amazing questions that will provide valuable insight when it comes to expressing ourselves sexually.
These are amazing questions that deserve to be answered with intense emotion and deep feeling. The answers to these questions will awaken us to the belief systems that we have in place and the perceptions that keep us trapped. When it comes to expressing ourselves in a sexual way we deserve to know ourselves on a deeper level. We deserve to know our deepest fears. We deserve to know our greatest pleasures. We deserve to understand the workings of our mind, body and soul. We deserve to open up to the universe and release all the beliefs that are causing a block when it comes to one of the greatest gifts God gave us, and that is the gift of sexual pleasure. When we take the time to answer the 11 questions above we will find ourselves removing all the masks that we have placed one on top another to hide who we truly our. The masks that keep us trapped. The mask that keep us hidden. The mask that keep us bundled up with fear. Answering these 11 questions with depth and purity will allow our wings to expand and we will finally be able to embrace all that we are and all that we long to be. We are sexual beings. When we adopt beliefs, thoughts and perceptions that are not in alignment with our truest and highest self we feel conflicted. When we feel conflicted we block off emotions. We can not pick and choose the emotions we want to shut off. So when we block off emotions we block them all. We shut them all down. This is when we become numb and sex turns into something that we have to do instead of get to do.
Take time and answer these questions. Dig deep. Be true. Open up. Release the lies. Most of the thoughts, beliefs and perceptions we have about our sexual self do not even come from us. We have heard statements. We have seen images. We consume media. We read articles. We create an alter ego of our sexual self. Decide today to release your sexual ego. When we take steps to become authentic in our sexual wants, desires, beliefs and expressions then we open up to who we truly are at a deep level. To be comfortable inside our sexual energy is absolutely amazing and extremely liberating. This process of releasing will cause pain and sadness. It will create emotional highs and lows. It will feel exciting and terrifying at the same time. When we go deep within our emotional body we will experience happiness and sorrow. STOP running from this. STOP running from your emotions. STAY...BREATH...DIG DEEP and find the root cause .
We are emotional beings and the emotions we have about our sexual self will allow us to experience intense pleasure or the emotions we have about our sexual self will allow us to feel utterly disconnected and extremely frustrated. Start doing internal work today to create the emotional shifts that will allow you to experience your sexual self in the most spiritual uplifting way. Tapping into your sexual energy does create a whirlwind of intense emotion. Feel this emotion. Breath this emotion. Move with this emotion and then move through this emotion. Allow yourself to receive all that comes to you when you are healing the sexual soul. Don't fight it. It won't be easy and it can activate masked pain but I promise you that when you choose to heal the sexual soul you choose to know yourself deeper, purer and more authentic then you ever expected.
Reach out to me if you are interested in coaching with me or scheduling an emotional release session. This is extremely healing and will assist with your sexual awakening. FREE 15 minute phone consultation.
Do you ever feel like your sexual side has went into hiding and is so scared and frightened that it will lie dormant for the rest of your life? I am not talking about just having sex. Sex is a very intimate action but if you don't feel comfortable and confident being sexual then sex itself will feel just okay! No one and I mean no one wants to have just okay sex! We want to focus on getting very comfortable with our sexuality and then getting even more comfortable expressing this side of ourselves. With all the daily tasks that a woman can take on, her sexuality may be the first thing that she sets aside. As women we are bright, creative, loving and yes sexual beings. We are this bright light and when we get so many things burning all at once the sexual self seems like the logical thing to shut off but its not! I have been in a place with young kids, working full time, being a mother at night and then wanting so badly to connect in a positive, healthy, fun loving way with my husband but unable to. I had lost my sexual self. I had placed her in a box and put her in the very back of the closet. My husband was so sweet and supportive but he to was dying inside. Men want appreciation, acceptance, understanding, and SEX. Men want the other emotions that women want. They want to feel approval from their spouse that they are good enough. Men want to feel appreciation for taking care of all the things men take care of. Men want to be understood and loved and men truly desire for their woman to want them sexually.
Dig that box out from the back of the closet and open her up. Your sexual self is one of the most exciting parts of who you are. You have decided to spend the rest of your life with this amazing man and both of you deserve to have an out of this world sexual connection. Creating this connection is so much fun and at times can also be painful( if you have attached shame, guilt, or have repressed emotions about sex) but even the pain deserve to be felt and then released.
Remember when you and your hubby first started having an intimate relationship? I am not talking just about having sex I am talking about the little playful moments in your dating experience. Remember thinking about what you were going to wear, how your were going to do your hair, the excitement, the anticipation, the longing to be with one another. After years of marriage you can still create this emotion. It will no longer just come naturally as we can get into daily habits and this can take that spark out of our married relationship.
Relax into your sexuality. Relax into being playful with your hubby. Enjoy your feminine energy! When we become playful we can create little moments that always make our husbands feel wanted, desired and longed for.
Here are a few examples of ways to be playful throughout the day to create a sexual spark!
1. There is always a moment where your husband is looking your way and no one else is around...take a quick moment to flash him some part of your sexy body! You will for sure have his attention.
2. Kiss your husband in a seductive way. Go up behind him and kiss his neck, then slowly run your hand down his luscious body ending with the package he is so proud of. Give this a nice feel and smile at your hubby. He will feel like a stud for the rest of the day.
3. Get comfortable touching yourself. I am not talking about masturbating. I am talking about being able to caress yourself in a way that activates your husbands sexual desire. When your hubby looks over at you, slowly run your hand softly down your breast and look at him with lustful eyes. Or run your hand up your thigh and stop at the highest part of the inner thigh, maybe biting your lower lip a little. It's fun to be seductive.
4. Get comfortable with sexual postures. Remember when you would drop something and practice picking it up in an enticing way( Maybe you never did this... I did). If you did not do this then start. Bend over in a sexual way. Arch your back, stick out your chest and bend at the waist pushing your butt out as far as you can. Practice being seductive. The more you practice the more confident you will become in expressing your sexual being.
Marriage is awesome. Awesomeness only happens with constant effort. Becoming comfortable with your sexual self is something you deserve!
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Do you feel as thou you don't enjoy being sexual? Women can create beliefs about sex that make them feel shameful and guilty when it comes to receiving sexual pleasure. Most of our sexual beliefs get created when we are growing up and exploring our sexual self. Most often, women do not receive positive messages when it comes to their sexuality. Women are usually receiving many downloads of negativity and shame. So my first question would be...
1~What are the beliefs you have about sex and are they helping you or hindering you? Many times girls hear things such as
This is just a few things that we could have heard that does damage if we adopt the belief and hold tightly to it.
2~Do you feel comfortable touching your own body?
I am not talking masturbation, I am talking about just touching your body. Rubbing your hand down your leg, or softly caressing your neck and shoulder. If you are not comfortable touching yourself then you are not going to be comfortable with anyone else touching you . Take some time and love yourself and your body. Small, gentle caresses will assist you in feeling sexier as well as learning to love your body and the sensations it is receiving. Women usually have some type of body complex and this can create a situation where being touched, naked or sexual are uncomfortable and take us out of our comfort zone.
3~What is your sexual dialogue?
As a couple can you sit and talk about sex? Some people may be uncomfortable talking about sex with their spouse and this comes from a place of shame and guilt. Open and honest conversations about sex are some of the greatest conversations that my hubby and I have had. At times I would giggle and maybe even blush but after a few times I felt more and more like sharing my sexual wants, desires and thoughts. Sex is not a shameful thing but for women it can be because they were taught this as young girls. Try talking about something sexual in your relationship. If talking is to hard at first then get a note pad and write notes back and forth, like you and your friends did in high school. Take small steps to become more open sexually.
4~Now my next question is for the men...Are you taking time to get her sexually excited?
Women are not cold one second and extremely hot the next...like men are, when it comes to sex. Men can compartmentalize sex...Most women can't . Women are emotional about sex and sex does not mean only paying attention to their boobs, butt and their vagina. There are many other sexual parts of a women. The slope of her neck, the curve of her back, her swiveling hips, her amazing thighs and her luscious lips. Pay attention to these areas leaving the boobs, butt and vagina until the very last. She is a buffet and her body should be the main course not just her specialized dishes. Treat her vagina like it is the biggest Christmas gift under the tree...you know the one you always save for last, knowing that it is the best. Her vagina is not going anywhere and the more you kiss, touch and caress her the more her vagina will be calling your name.
Women want to have orgasms and if they are not then sex can be not that appealing. Being sexual is amazing without orgasm but if every time you go to sit down at the dinner table and the places are set, the smell is delicious, the ambiance is perfect but there is no dinner served then you would feel disappointed and upset. Orgasm is important and most women don't orgasm the second the penis enters her. There are tricks and perfect positions, or you may have to manually stimulate her to climax. There is nothing wrong with that. The more she orgasms the more she will want sex and be happy to have it with you.
Sex is something that takes effort. Get educated, explore one another, excite each other, express your wants, thoughts and desires and empower your sexual selves. This takes time, effort, energy and there can be no judgment. I promise you will be so grateful when you have the sexual connection that you deserve to have in your marriage!
My name is Cameo .I have been married for 19 years and with my husband for 20.5 years. I know that the sexual connection in a marriage can create strength and happiness and I also know the lack of a sexual connection can leave you feeling empty and dissatisfied. Lets get real open and become sexually satisfied in our marriages!