Today I want you to take some time and LUST over your husband. Let me ask you a question. When is the last time you have looked at your husband with the intention of creating a lustful sensation? When we are first together lust is something that occurs naturally. Lust is that feeling that arises when we have this powerful, longing, wanting and burning desire to be sexual. Lust in the beginning is strong and a force you can actually feel. After you have been together for a period of time the lust fades away...it's still there but it in no longer palpable...Here is some breaking news, did you know you can manufacture LUST? It requires focus, desire and pure unadulterated longing. It is powerful, intense and is so much fun to bring back into your marriage. Here are a few suggestions to ignite the spark of lust and turn it into a bright burning flame!
1. We have all seen a movie where there is this sexy woman laying out by her pool, when all of a sudden here comes the guy to clean her pool. When this man enters the movie we notice everything about this shirtless hunk. This is what we get to do in our marriage with our hubby. Today my husband was out mowing the lawn. I sat down at our outdoor table and ate my breakfast. While I was eating I was creating lustful thoughts . I was admiring my husbands beautifully sculpted shoulders. I enjoyed the nice curvature of his bicep and tricep muscles and how I wanted those hot arms wrapped around my naked body. I thoroughly enjoyed the masculine energy he was conveying.
2. Play the part: Become your own hot actress. When we are focusing on being more sexual in our marriage sometimes we have to play a part. The more we play the part the more oxytocin is released in our system assisting us in wanting to be sexual on a regular basis. We get to have fun with and in our sexuality. Playing a part in your own mind is amazing. I am not talking about dressing up like a cowgirl and having your hubby be an Indian. ( this is fun as well) I am talking about tapping into that sexual scene that you have seen on television or in your mind and become that character. For example: I love the show 9 1/2 weeks. I find it so erotic and full of passion and lust. I feel my sexual energy activate when I am watching this show. So I remember the sexy parts that I find erotic and tap into that energy. I become a sexually focused woman with the assistance of playing a part. On a normal daily basis I don't feel like I can do a sexual strip tease for my husband or lightly tie him up and tease him playfully with my breath and a cupful of ice...but I can when I tap into this sexual part and I find it so exciting and thrilling. BECOME YOUR OWN HOT,SEXUAL ACTRESS!
Choose to focus on lustful thoughts in your marriage. You will have so much fun longing for your husband again. It is so easy to fall into the trap of feeling non sexual BUT we are sexual beings and when we are fulfilled sexually our whole outlook on life changes for the better!
Jeff and I just returned from our 12 year anniversary trip. We usually stay close to home but we decided to venture out . We had an amazing trip. It was filled with love, laughter and yes a lot of sex. I believe many couples, mostly women, opt out of weekend getaways. As women we can easily disconnect from our sexual self. We are busy cooking and cleaning. We are busy paying the bills and taking the kids to and from all their daily activities. We are sweeping the floors, making the beds and doing the never ending laundry. It can be very difficult to shift from our motherly self into our sexually confident self. We all have that woman inside of us that is full of passion, lust, desire and a longing for hot, wild sex. The kind of sex that leaves you thinking and feeling sexy for days. Here is my suggestion....Think about and tap into that sexual woman everyday. You have to intentionally tap into your sexual power on a daily basis. We have all heard the saying " if you don't use it, you lose it". This goes for our sexual energy as well.
Start with small things that create a sexual feeling easily. I know every woman has to have eaten a banana once in her life and while eating this you start thinking about a nice, luscious penis! This banana instantly turns into a sexual object that is fun to devour. Do this. Go get yourself a banana and eat it in a way that creates some sexual thought and some sexual energy. If you are feeling vivacious then eat, lick and suck this banana in front of your hubby. He will absolutely love it and you will both connect sexually. When you are making your bed think sexual thoughts. Think of all the yummy things you and your man are going to experience together tonight. You have the right to be a sexual being. If we are never allowing ourselves to be and feel sexual then these weekend getaways could be really intimidating. Be and think sexual in your everyday life. Do not allow motherhood and your daily life to shut down the sexual goddess within. We are human. Humans are sexual beings. I am woman....here me ROAR with a sexy seductiveness!
Your weekend getaways are the time to turn the heat up not on! Your sexual fire should always be on, maybe at a low flame but always on. This allows sex to become the number 1 focus when you are on your weekend sexcation! It is so liberating to be the type of woman who is confident, secure and ready to be sexual at any moment. This is the time you can let your sexual self be front and center. I allowed myself to be fueled by sex and it was exciting, passionate and at times risky...yes risky can be sexy. Remember to always think about sex on a daily basis. Do things that create a sexual thought, feeling or emotion. Tap into your sexual self and always keep this part of yourself activated. Never shut down sexually. This should be 1 of the 7 deadly sins..."Thou shall not shut down ones sexual self"!!! Awaken to the power of sex and the happiness it creates in your marriage. Get sexy, Get Sensual, Get Sexalicious!!!
Get comfortable openly discussing sex with your spouse. Sex is not a taboo topic. When we are married and wanting to be sexually satisfied the only way this is going to happen is to be able to have an open, honest and hot conversation about sex. I have to admit the first few times my husband and I had these conversations I felt like a little girl. I would blush and at times even giggle. Most men are very comfortable talking about sex but most woman have been taught that sex is personal and we should never openly have conversations about this.
Did you know that most women can not even say the word Vagina! I have witnessed this for years now and it makes me smile every time I hear a reference to "down there". When we use words like " down there" we are subconsciously feeling that our vagina is something that is bad and can not even be called by its official name. Start using the word vagina! As matter of fact ,repeat after me...Vagina, Vagina, Vagina! It is a wonderful word and it is meant to receive pleasure not be banished to a life of doom and gloom.
Men suffer from something very different when it comes to sex. It is definitely not using the word penis because their life pretty much revolves around their "penis". I do believe that men suffer from feeling inadequate in the bedroom. Most men want to please their woman so badly but when the subject of sex is off limits then it is all a shot in the dark to them. They do what feels right to them and they pray that it also does something right for you!
This can all be illuminated with very open and honest conversation. Start by asking some easy questions. What position is your favorite position in the bedroom? Do you like a lot of foreplay or no foreplay? Do you like the lights on or off? What 3 things can I do more that will create sexual excitement for you?
Then go into the bedroom and enjoy the pleasures of all the information you just found out about one another. ASK questions during foreplay and intercourse. Also speak up if something feels good or not so good. There are times that things will feel so good but your spouse will not know that it feels good unless you say something. Something such as " that feels amazing" or " Baby, don't stop doing that". You also have to voice when things do not feel good. My husband loves to bite my neck and 99% of the time I enjoy it but 1% of the time he comes a vampire and bites me to the point that it is painful. I know that pain can be enjoyable in the bedroom but I personally do not like this...so I say " that is to hard baby", or I grab his face and tell him " gentle baby, gentle". This still keeps the sexual intensity but it allow me to enjoy this moment as well.
Promise yourself that you are going to work on your sex life just like you work on anything else in your life. If you want to be a good cook, you get cookbooks or take a cooking class. When you want to be a better parent you read every blog and face book post that can assist you. When you want to have an amazing sex life you have to do the same. Check books out at the library about SEX. I have 10 right now and I am so excited to read them all. Buy books on amazon about SEX! Read articles about SEX and talk to your spouse on a regular basis about SEX.
I have a question for you...When it the last time you went out with the intention to buy some new hot undies? Undies that will make your husbands heart skip a beat and undies that awaken your sexual energy. When Jeff and I first started dating, I would always go out and buy something hot and exciting. Something that would create excitement. I would go out with the intention of buying something sexual. When we do this we instantly awaken and connect with our sexual energy. Just thinking about this gets me all getty. Some of you may be on a budget. I have to admit I went out and bought 10...thats right 10 pairs of sexy undies for under $20.00. You don't need 10. Just one NEW pair of sexy undies will awaken and spark your sexy inner diva. I bought a pair of panties for...wait for it...$0.80. Thats right super hot sexual undies for 80 cents. I am sharing this info to let you know you can awaken and reignite your sexual energy for less then a double cheeseburger on the dollar menu:) Start intentionally going out to buy something sexy. To buy something sexual. To buy something that will create a small fire inside your sexual soul. After being married for 12 years these are things that I do to make sure my sexual self is awaken and alive. Sex is fun. Sex is healthy and sex is something we can share with the person we love! Make a commitment to awaken your sexual self with a small step at least once a month. When done consistantly you will have made 12 small steps over the course of the year and I know that your vagina will thank you for this! Set your sexual intention and stick to it. You and your hubby will have a sexual glow about you that will make people wonder " I want to know ...what that couple knows". A strong sex life with your hubby will create a super charge that will drive you to new and better heights, in every part of your life!