Get comfortable openly discussing sex with your spouse. Sex is not a taboo topic. When we are married and wanting to be sexually satisfied the only way this is going to happen is to be able to have an open, honest and hot conversation about sex. I have to admit the first few times my husband and I had these conversations I felt like a little girl. I would blush and at times even giggle. Most men are very comfortable talking about sex but most woman have been taught that sex is personal and we should never openly have conversations about this.
Did you know that most women can not even say the word Vagina! I have witnessed this for years now and it makes me smile every time I hear a reference to "down there". When we use words like " down there" we are subconsciously feeling that our vagina is something that is bad and can not even be called by its official name. Start using the word vagina! As matter of fact ,repeat after me...Vagina, Vagina, Vagina! It is a wonderful word and it is meant to receive pleasure not be banished to a life of doom and gloom.
Men suffer from something very different when it comes to sex. It is definitely not using the word penis because their life pretty much revolves around their "penis". I do believe that men suffer from feeling inadequate in the bedroom. Most men want to please their woman so badly but when the subject of sex is off limits then it is all a shot in the dark to them. They do what feels right to them and they pray that it also does something right for you!
This can all be illuminated with very open and honest conversation. Start by asking some easy questions. What position is your favorite position in the bedroom? Do you like a lot of foreplay or no foreplay? Do you like the lights on or off? What 3 things can I do more that will create sexual excitement for you?
Then go into the bedroom and enjoy the pleasures of all the information you just found out about one another. ASK questions during foreplay and intercourse. Also speak up if something feels good or not so good. There are times that things will feel so good but your spouse will not know that it feels good unless you say something. Something such as " that feels amazing" or " Baby, don't stop doing that". You also have to voice when things do not feel good. My husband loves to bite my neck and 99% of the time I enjoy it but 1% of the time he comes a vampire and bites me to the point that it is painful. I know that pain can be enjoyable in the bedroom but I personally do not like this...so I say " that is to hard baby", or I grab his face and tell him " gentle baby, gentle". This still keeps the sexual intensity but it allow me to enjoy this moment as well.
Promise yourself that you are going to work on your sex life just like you work on anything else in your life. If you want to be a good cook, you get cookbooks or take a cooking class. When you want to be a better parent you read every blog and face book post that can assist you. When you want to have an amazing sex life you have to do the same. Check books out at the library about SEX. I have 10 right now and I am so excited to read them all. Buy books on amazon about SEX! Read articles about SEX and talk to your spouse on a regular basis about SEX.