Do you often look at a supermodel and feel deep down that your husband would like you to look like that? Have you been waiting in the checkout line and look over to notice that hot celebrity wearing a sexy bikini and you think that your husband wishes you looked that way? Have you been watching a movie and a sexy woman is doing a little strip tease for her man and you feel your husband would love to have that in his life?
I feel as women we get caught up in feeling and thinking that our husbands want us
to be a specific way when it comes to sexiness. I have found that my husband may
find these things sexy but there is nothing sexier than his wife with
confidence. When I am wearing something that draws his attention and I do so
with security and confidence then this is creating greatness in my marriage.
When I am at the beach and I am wearing a swimsuit that I feel comfortable in
and I exude confidence then this is sexy and is creating greatness in my
marriage. When I do a strip tease for my husband and do so with confidence,
security and love then this is creating greatness in my marriage. When I do
these things and have confidence accompany me then my husband feels full filled
and excited in his marriage. I have found if I do these things with
embarrassment , lack of confidence and insecurity then these things cause more
of a disconnect in my marriage. I want us all to focus on things that create
excitement, confidence and create a stronger connection with our spouse. We all
have amazing things to offer in our marriage. Pick one or two things that build
a strong foundation in the sexual connection that you are building with your
spouse and share them...with confidence. Our spouse loves us with all of our
good, bad, silly and uniqueness we have to offer. Share yourself with your
spouse and do so knowing that he or she is completely satisfied with the things
you have to offer as long as you do so with confidence. The greatness of having
a spouse is to slowly build a sexual connection that is so amazing you feel
euphoric. Start sharing yourself in a confident way that you know will produce the
great sex you and your spouse deserve.
I read in a book that men on average take less then 4 minutes to reach an orgasm while women on average take around 20 minutes... If reincarnation is real, I am coming back as a man! ha-ha
The mind plays a major part in achieving female orgasm. I have heard of women who can think themselves into orgasm. WOW...this is an amazing tool that we all need to be tapping into. The question is, How do we get our mind to work with us instead of against us?
Woman are great at multi tasking. We are made this way so we can do the laundry, while
cooking dinner, while feeding the baby and getting the other kids in the bath.
This multi tasking ability is a gift. With all gifts there are a few down falls.
Multi tasking while we are having sex is not a gift it assures one thing will
happen and that is we will not be present during sex. We get to learn that sex
is one place where the brain has to be focused. We want to focus on enjoying
ourselves and our partner as well as having an orgasm. The bedroom is no place
for a TO DO list. I am not saying that orgasm has to always be the outcome. I
have found that when I take the pressure off myself and just enjoy the rawness
and passion of sex then I am extremely content no matter what the end result is.
My mind has to be present. I am unable to really enjoy the connection that my
husband and I are sharing if I am thinking " I forgot to pay the mortgage or I
can't forget to schedule the kids dentist appointments in the morning". If my
mind is wondering and I am not fully engaged then my husband and I are not
connecting in the most intimate of ways. Our minds can make sex seem superficial
or our minds can make sex perfect, passionate and playful. We get to find a few
effective ways in allowing our minds to focus on purposeful pleasure. Here are
a few ways in allowing your mind to focus. One way is to always keep a list of items you will get accomplished on
that certain day. Label them in order of importance so even if you do not get
them all done you at least got the most important ones completed. Another way is
after you get the kids in bed take a short bubble bath with the intent to
connect with your sexual power. Notice your beautiful legs and your curvy sexy
body. Breathe deep and visualize you and your man having intense fun. Also we have all heard that
affirmations are super powerful in our life. Start using affirmations regarding
your sex life. State things like.... I love having sex, I love pleasing my
spouse, I am secure with my naked body, I achieve orgasm easily and love it, my
mind is a sexual tool, and there are so many more you can come up with. As women we get to make sure that we are
aware of our mental state when we are being intimate. Sex is required for a
feeling of wholeness in our marriage. If our minds are not present then we will
still feel a little empty. Lets start using our minds more effectively and efficiently.
In deep orgasm, if you are aware, you will know for the first time what ecstasy is.
Otherwise you have only heard the word; you have not known its meaning. Only in
deep orgasm, if you are aware, if your flame of awareness is burning bright,
will you be able to know that sex is not just sex. Sex is the outermost layer;
deep inside is love; and even deeper is prayer; and deepest is God himself. Sex
can become a cosmic experience; Sex plus awareness... and something tremendous
starts changing. - Osho
Most of us are Mothers and Fathers and when the kids start bringing home their art
projects and their heart felt notes it is very easy to place these precious
treasures in our bedroom. As women we get to be very conscious of our
surroundings. When there is a Winnie the Pooh picture your son colored, and a
Barbie doll cut out your daughter gave you on your bedroom dresser then it is a
little harder to feel sexually connected. We get to decide that the bedroom is
an adult room. I am not saying there should be explicit photos or items that
your children should not be exposed to. I am saying this should be a space that
creates a feeling of serenity and sexuality. When we step into our bedroom we
want to feel the passion and love that is shared in this space. Our bedroom is
just that...OURS. There are very few things that are just ours so decide that
this is the one room that you get to make sexually stimulating . Here are a few
tips that I have found that create an amazing environment for
1.Take all Mommy and Daddy items out of your
2.Change the sheets often and when you do...visualize
sexual intimacy with your spouse.
3.Create dim lighting , light candles or buy a black
light....lighting can really assist women in feeling more
4.Get something that plays music that makes you feel
5. Diffuse essential oils or light incents...find a
scent that creates a sexy mood
6.Get bedding that sparks a sexual feeling....if
flowers are on your bed and flowers do not make you feel sexy ...then change
your choice of bedding.
7.Clutter makes us feel pressure....so get rid of any
and all clutter in your room.
8.Have fun creating the environment where you and
your spouse are going to connect on a very intimate ,very erotic
Sex is so amazing and when we take pride in the environment that we are exchanging
sexual energy and sexual favors then we can feel very sexy and very safe doing so.
Stress and Sex...Is stress dictating your sex life!
With all the daily stress in our lives it is no mystery as to why our sex drive is
getting lower and lower. Stress produces cortisol and
cortisol decreases testosterone.
Now men have 10 times more testosterone then woman so even with daily
stress they are still ready to get frisky at any moment sometimes more frisky
and sometimes less. I read that a man could be standing in two feet of pig poop and a sexy woman could walk by and the first thing they think about is sex but a
woman can be feeling as sexual as ever and step over a dirty sock and the
feeling is lost. Women are created with small amount of testosterone so when
stress hits we can feel our sexual desire fade away. This is understandable. I
am not saying that we have to get away from all stresses as that would be an
impossible task. Stress is part of life but as women we get to find ways to
reduce the small daily stresses so connecting on an intimate level is smoother
and easier. When we can allow the little things to roll of our shoulders then we
can move closer to our husband in a sexual way. I have found that sex itself
reduces stress for me. When I am using energy to show my husband how much I want
and love him then the stress that I feel can fade. If I am unable to allow the
little stresses to roll off my shoulder then I channel this energy in a sexual
way and treat my husband like the naughty, dirty man he wants to be sometimes. I
can use the stress to transform from a nice, loving wife to an aggresive, naughty
sexual diva. Sex is beautiful, natural and absolutely amazing but you can shift
sex at times and become that naughty, hot school girl that is ready to tear into
her husband like the hot piece of meat he is. As we learn to channel stress
into and out of our daily lives it can fuel our sexual mood. We can allow stress
to take away our sex drive completely or, we can learn to release stress and
have electrifying sex, or we can take the daily stress and channel that into
hot, angry, stress fueled sex. Sex is amazing in so many different ways so start
embracing and enjoying every way.
It is so easy to forget how beautiful and sexy we are as women. We
are created with curves, soft lips, luscious looks and a caring nature. In society it is so easy to get caught
up in all the things we lack. We start feeling things like...if I was thinner I
would feel sexy, If I had long flowing hair I would feel sexy, If I had legs
that stopped traffic then I would feel sexy. We get to stop focusing on all the
things that bring doubt into our erotic existence and start focusing on
increasing and building a strong foundation of confidence, sensuality and love.
We are all beautiful. We are all sexy in our own way. We all do not fit in any
specific box. We all are made with different features so lets focus on the
greatness we have to offer then we will naturally feel sexy. What we think about
we bring about so start thinking about all the wonderful parts of yourself. When
you wake up in the morning look at yourself in the mirror and say nice things to
yourself. Say things like I have pretty eyes, I have beautiful legs, I have a great smile, I have nice hair, I love my height, then you can say things about yourself on a more internal note
such as I am a caring person, I have gifts to offer the world, I am great at
supporting people, I am a good wife, I am a great Mother and anything else that
you can think of that is positive. We often talk to ourselves like we are the
enemy and then we wonder why we feel so awful. We are amazing women with
beautiful bodies and so much love to offer. Lets make sure we are doing things that
ignite sexiness within ourselves. For example... I love listening to sensual
music it creates a sexy feeling inside my soul. I also love to dance and can
dance in a sensual way that creates a strong, confident, dominant sexual vibe
inside of my body. I also love wearing boots. Boots create the feeling of
although I am in levies and a T shirt I still have a sexual side to myself. When
we are connected to the sexiness we posses it is a smoother transition from
being a Mother and friend to being that sexual woman that is ready to be
intimate with her man. If we are feeling bad, wearing sweats and filthy shoes
then it is a harder transition to feel sexy and to feel ready to intimately
connect. Woman usually require warming up to feel ready to be intimate so we can
take responsibility and some small steps to create that soft erotic sensation
and feeling so when our husband shows us some exotic attention we respond with
our sex-a-licous self!
Can excitement be created in the bedroom with no outside influences? I am asking,
Can great sex be achieved with no lubes, lotions, potions, toys or adult
My answer is ABSOLUTELY matter of fact I think it is better. When there are outside
things that we bring into the bedroom it can create more of a disconnection
instead of a great connection. When you are experimenting this can be fun but if
you are truly committed in feeling completely comfortable with one another then
I have found that the purity of myself and my husband creates serenity in the
bedroom. Peace, love and vulnerability is present. When other items are brought
into the bedroom I feel more like we are experimenting. We are two consenting
adults creating sexperiments. I am all for creating fun in the bedroom but when
that fun creates a feeling of being separate from one another then I feel like
it may be doing more damage then good. We want to feel comfortable, confident,
connected, whole and together. Lotions, potions, exotic foods, body paints,
blindfolds and a few more items can create the feeling of connection in the
bedroom as you are both having fun exploring the possibility of something new
and exciting. I personally feel that erotic toys and pornographic images create
disconnection and at times even destruction. Toys that vibrate create a
sensation that your husband is never going to be able to duplicate....unless
your husbands penis vibrates. You want to focus on getting to a place that your
spouse can satisfy all your sexual needs. When it comes to pornographic images I
have personally never found that it brings a great sexual connection. Porn is a
fake sexual experience and Porn only creates chemicals in your brain that you
want more and more of. It is like a drug and it will consume and possibly
destroy your marriage.
You can get creative in the bedroom but remember the whole reason you are there. You
are giving yourself to your spouse. You are sharing and
serving. You are committing to being open, honest, vulnerable, sincere,
real and passionate. Sex is amazing and you have the ability to create your own
bedroom playground. You can bring in items that are fun but make sure those
items do not disconnect you and your spouse from one another. Raw intimacy
between the two of you is the best but there is a time for playful fun as well.
Utah legislature has passed a sex education bill that allows schools to decide whether they will
teach students about human sexuality and in the event that they do, requires
that it use “abstinence-only instruction materials.” The bill now goes to the
governor for approval.
According to the bill,if a school decides to teach sex
education they must teach it in the context of “abstinence from all sexual activity before marriage and fidelity
after marriage as the only sure methods for preventing certain communicable
diseases.” The bill says that at any time when human sexuality is being taught, instruction is not to include information about “the intricacies of
intercourse, sexual stimulation, or erotic behavior; homosexuality; or [the
advocacy or encouragement of] the use of contraceptive methods or
As a married woman and Mother of 3 I started thinking where have I created My
beliefs and my understanding about sex. I then asked myself would
I want the school system teaching my children about sex and my answer is....
absolutely not. As a woman that is comfortable with communicating openly with my
child this is my answer. This is another reason that we get to feel and be more
comfortable with the topic of sexuality. So where did you learn about sex? My
parents were very closed regarding this subject matter. I learned from having 6
older brothers and watching way to many television programs. Beverly
hills90210, Melroseplace, Days of our lives...I learned a
thing or two from all these. I learned how to use my sexuality to get what I
want. I learned to use my assets so I could gain acceptance and approval from
boys. If we just stick our heads in the sand and hope that our children are
going to make the right decision then we are not living in reality. Reality is
that sex is everywhere. The T.V programs now days are filled with sexual
content. There are whole programs based on sexual content and nothing else.
Jersey Shore, Bad girls club, Pretty little liars, Gossip girls and so many
more. As parents we get to feel more comfortable about speaking on such a
powerful topic. Sex is normal, natural, beautiful, exciting and God-Given. If we
are allowing the school system and television programs to educate our children
then we will have very confused children on our hands. Sex is not bad, naughty,
taboo or unnatural so if we can communicate effectively with our children then
they will have more knowledge and power to create good decisions on their own.
We now get to take some time and understand where are education came from regarding
sex. Sex is not a tool to use so you can fix what is broken, or glue back
together different pieces of yourself so you can feel whole. Sex is not
something you throw around like loose change. Sex is not power. Sex is not
controlling. Sex is wonderful. Sex is amazing. Sex is beautiful. Sex is
enlightening. Sex is emotional. Sex is spiritual. Sex is peaceful. Sex is fun.
Sex is uniting. Sex is never ending. Sex is a spark.
Are your sexual beliefs creating conflict as a spouse?
Are your sexual beliefs creating conflict as a Mother?
Are your sexual beliefs creating conflict as a Father?
Are your sexual beliefs creating conflict as a Spiritual Being having a human experience?
If you answered Yes to any of these then I would suggest you release what is not
serving you and your family. Lets get comfortable with the subject of sex and
how important sex is on our daily life. We can feel the impact of being sexually
confident and sexually satisfied beings. We get to realize that we have the
amazing ability to give ourselves to another with complete honesty, love and
grace. We deserve to be confident. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to be
honest and open.
Be the person you wanted your parents to be when you
wanted security and knowledge when it came to sex. Strong Sexual feelings and a
lack of parental acceptance and guidance is like a time bomb waiting to
explode. Sex is amazing and when we are comfortable with teaching, educating and sharing our beliefs, our values,
our morals and our hopes for our children, they will respond in a way that they
will forever be thankful for. I have a teenage daughter and I am so glad that I
have choose to be open, honest, and forthright with her. It is uncomfortable at
times but I know if I don't teach her someone else will and I don't want that.
She has plenty of outside influence and I want her to have the most powerful
influence inside the home...not outside!
When Jeff and I were first together my cycle was a challenge that presented itself in a fun way every month and we always found ways to still connect on an intimate level. My cycle was an obstacle to get around so we could still enjoy each others nakedness. After 12 years together I have created this monster that comes with my cycle. It is no longer a fun obstacle but a scary monster that my husband should stay far, far away from. I have created this. In my mind I am not feeling sexy. I am feeling crampy, bloated, tired, emotional and I could cry or flip out at any moment. I have changed my perception about my cycle. I have decided it is something awful and disgusting instead of the beautiful cycle of life that it really is. Our menstrual cycle is there so we have the ability to create life. What an amazing gift. As we are consistently looking for new ways to connect on an intimate level this can be a great way. This month I choose to share myself with my husband while menstruating. I made sure I showered and then laid a large towel down. I made sure that it was dark so we both felt comfortable as it is not a beautiful scene BUT I did find that sex was more intense during my cycle. I believe the hormones that are getting released while on your cycle can really make sex more enjoyable then it already is. If you have slow movements and you are on the bottom then there is not that big of a mess. While on your cycle it creates a natural lubricant that is very enjoyable and as a woman it makes me feel that my husband loves and enjoys me even when I am menstruating. I am not off limits. I am not disgusting. I am not shut down. I am a beautiful, mature, loving, amazing woman and wife who wants to connect sexually all the time. I suggest that you try this just once. If both of you consent and want to move forward I believe that sex during your cycle may be something you both really enjoy. You may try it and neither one of you will like it or maybe one will and one won't. I am not saying that it will be perfect but I am saying in marriage open up to your spouse and see if you like it or you don't. We have all heard that you don't judge a book by its cover...so lets not create a scenario in our mind unless we have tried it at least once. You may find that being intimate will lessen your bleeding, lessen your cramps and shorten your period. This happens by the uterine contractions that take place while being intimate. Lets remember how wonderful and beautiful we all our even when we are menstruating. Our cycle gives us the gift of housing another little soul inside our precious body. Our cycle is wonderful and as woman we get to remember how amazing we all are.