 Open up to reasons far deeper then you expected to locate
the region of sexual frustration. My husband is a very touchy feely type of man. 90% of time that he passes by me in the house he touches me in some way. This may be a soft and gently caress across the back or this can also be a hand sliding down my shirt to touch, well lets call it what it really is, grab my boobs. I know he just wants to touch me and show me that he is sexually attracted to me still...after 13 years together...this is meant to be a beautiful gesture BUT at times this can activate an anger in me that feels like I could literally rip his arm off at the shoulder. WHERE does this emotion come from? I love my husband. He is my best friend. He is my partner in life. I want him to want to touch me, so where does this anger come from? After some deep thought as well as speaking openly with my Mom, I found out where this comes from. Could this be an inherited emotion that my Mom use to feel when my biological abusive father, use to grab her in this way? She was pregnant with me and would experience this exact emotion. The rage, the anger, the sadness of a man that treated her wrongly touching her in this sexual way. Could this emotion become a characteristic that I took a hold of? I took this pain and placed it firmly within my sexual dialogue. I felt this emotion when I was in the womb as well as seeing my mom respond this way the first year or two of my life. Sex was not a beautiful amazing moment for her and these thoughts, feelings and emotions have found a place into my sexual life as well. When I first became sexually active ,at the age of 17, I was always under some form of substance control. I loved smoking pot. For the next 4 years of my life there was pounds of pot, this also lead to cocaine, with an occasional mushroom trip splashed with a few acid trips, that turned into smoking crack which turned into the place where most drug users end up...the world of crystal meth. I got out with determination, will power and having a daughter that I know deserved a wonderful sober Mother. I have been drug free for 13 years now. I now know that a lot of this substance abuse was to mask the pain I felt sexually. Even in my marriage there was a good part of the time that I would prefer to have a drink so I could be more liberated and open with my sexual self. There is this sexual diva that comes out strong when I have had a beer or 2 or a few crown and cokes. This sexual tigress arrives and she is on fire with passion, drive, determination and dominance. So I have choose to release the pain and sadness that I unconsciously decided to become part of my sexual story. I am still working through this process but now that I understand where it comes from it will be easier for me to release. This is just one small part of my sexual self. I have many other emotions and some sexual traumas as well that have really shifted my ability to see sex as I wish but I know I can get to that place with dedication, determination and will power. Where have some of your sexual emotions came from? Take a moment and see if you can find some answers. You can also email me at Cameo@mbsglow.com or message me on facebook @ www.facebook.com/mma4all ...I would love to give you insight and my opinion.
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 We don't often hear that word at all anymore. It is usually referred to as some mystery word that has no correlation with the vagina itself. We hear words like " down there", your girl parts and other silly terms...when my girls where little I always used the word foofur! I have since learned the importance of calling this what it is...the vagina . When boys enter this world they are directly connected to their penis. They can see it, touch and they are immediately exploring how this miraculous body part works. How it hangs, what makes it move, they can stand and pee and they are in love with it from day one. I have a son and have witnessed this first hand. Even when he was little he always had his hand down is pants holding this wonderful body part called the penis. As girls we have to be a private investigator when it comes to the vagina. It is all tucked away and hidden so we do not have a direct relationship with it from the moment we are born. When girls are babies the pee and poop can seem like they come from the same place and cause a early disconnect from the beautiful vagina. When boys are babies there is a clear distinction between the penis, where pee comes out and the anus, where poop comes out. Girls can also create feelings of resentment and anger. I am not saying we all have " penis envy" but men are so proud of their sexual organ. They talk about it, they know which way it hangs , they know what excites it and what doesn't. They love their penis. As women we get to spend time exploring this sexual organ called " the vagina". What makes it wet? what makes it happy? what makes it feel like receiving sexual pleasure? Do you like it shaved? Do you like it with a racing stripe? Do you like it full and bushy? The only way you are going to know the answers to these questions is to spend time on each question. Try different things and you will know what you like and do not like. The vagina is a gift to women. We get to love the vagina as much as men do. Become dedicated to connecting to this beautiful, sexual body part. The vagina connected with the mind can give you unlimited pleasure. It is not shameful and it is not bad. The vagina is beautiful, amazing, sexual, and it gets to receive the manly penis. Get comfortable using the word vagina and get comfortable allowing yourself to receive pleasure from this glorious body part called....THE VAGINA!!! |
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