Open up to reasons far deeper then you expected to locate
the region of sexual frustration.
My husband is a very touchy feely type of man. 90% of
time that he passes by me in the house he touches me in some way. This may be a
soft and gently caress across the back or this can also be a hand sliding down
my shirt to touch, well lets call it what it really is, grab my boobs. I know he
just wants to touch me and show me that he is sexually attracted to me
still...after 13 years together...this is meant to be a beautiful gesture BUT
at times this can activate an anger in me that feels like I could literally rip
his arm off at the shoulder. WHERE does this emotion come from? I love my
husband. He is my best friend. He is my partner in life. I want him to want to
touch me, so where does this anger come from?
After some deep thought as well as speaking openly with
my Mom, I found out where this comes from. Could this be an inherited emotion
that my Mom use to feel when my biological abusive father, use to grab her in
this way? She was pregnant with me and would experience this exact emotion. The
rage, the anger, the sadness of a man that treated her wrongly touching her in
this sexual way. Could this emotion become a characteristic that I took a hold
of? I took this pain and placed it firmly within my sexual dialogue. I felt this emotion when I was in the
womb as well as seeing my mom respond this way the first year or two of my life.
Sex was not a beautiful amazing moment for her and these thoughts, feelings and
emotions have found a place into my sexual life as well.
When I first became sexually active ,at the age of 17, I
was always under some form of substance control. I loved smoking pot. For the
next 4 years of my life there was pounds of pot, this also lead to cocaine, with
an occasional mushroom trip splashed with a few acid trips,
that turned into smoking crack which turned into the place where most
drug users end up...the world of crystal meth. I got out with determination,
will power and having a daughter that I know deserved a wonderful sober Mother.
I have been drug free for 13 years now. I now know that a lot of this substance
abuse was to mask the pain I felt sexually.
Even in my marriage there was a good part of the time
that I would prefer to have a drink so I could be more liberated and open with
my sexual self. There is this sexual diva that comes out strong when I have had
a beer or 2 or a few crown and cokes. This sexual tigress arrives and she is on
fire with passion, drive, determination and dominance.
So I have choose to release the pain and sadness that I
unconsciously decided to become part of my sexual story. I am still working
through this process but now that I understand where it comes from it will be
easier for me to release. This is just one small part of my sexual self. I have
many other emotions and some sexual traumas as well that have really shifted my
ability to see sex as I wish but I know I can get to that place with
dedication, determination and will power.
Where have some of your sexual emotions came from? Take a
moment and see if you can find some answers. You can also email me at
Cameo@mbsglow.com or message me on facebook @ www.facebook.com/mma4all ...I
would love to give you insight and my opinion.
We don't often hear that word at all anymore. It is
usually referred to as some mystery word that has no correlation with the vagina
itself. We hear words like " down there", your girl parts and other silly
terms...when my girls where little I always used the word foofur! I have since
learned the importance of calling this what it is...the vagina . When boys enter
this world they are directly connected to their penis. They can see it, touch
and they are immediately exploring how this miraculous body part works. How it
hangs, what makes it move, they can stand and pee and they are in love with it
from day one. I have a son and have witnessed this first hand. Even when he was
little he always had his hand down is pants holding this wonderful body part
called the penis.
As girls we have to be a private investigator when it
comes to the vagina. It is all tucked away and hidden so we do not have a direct
relationship with it from the moment we are born. When girls are babies the pee
and poop can seem like they come from the same place and cause a early
disconnect from the beautiful vagina. When boys are babies there is a clear
distinction between the penis, where pee comes out and the anus, where poop
comes out. Girls can also create
feelings of resentment and anger. I am not saying we all have " penis envy" but
men are so proud of their sexual organ. They talk about it, they know which way
it hangs , they know what excites it and what doesn't. They love their
As women we
get to spend time exploring this sexual organ called " the vagina".
What makes it wet? what makes it happy? what makes it feel like receiving
sexual pleasure? Do you like it shaved? Do you like it with a racing stripe? Do
you like it full and bushy? The only way you are going to know the answers to
these questions is to spend time on each question. Try different things and you
will know what you like and do not like.
The vagina is a gift to women. We get to love the vagina
as much as men do. Become dedicated to connecting to this beautiful, sexual body
part. The vagina connected with the mind can give you unlimited pleasure. It is
not shameful and it is not bad. The vagina is beautiful, amazing, sexual,
and it gets to receive the manly penis. Get comfortable using the
word vagina and get comfortable allowing yourself to receive pleasure from this
glorious body part called....THE VAGINA!!!