 With halloween tomorrow I had to use this picture...I started laughing the minute I seen this. This girl is going to have her hands full!
When the night arrives and you have assisted your little ones with getting pajamas on, brushing teeth , doing some bedtime reading and a kissing them goodnight....Start getting comfortable with locking your bedroom door. This has been my experience. I do not feel free to be sexual with the door open or even unlocked. I feel as thou I have to be super still, quite, and I am always looking at the door waiting for this little person to be standing there. I am not able to enjoy being intimate with my spouse under these condition. I love the connection being created but the relaxed enjoyment is gone. I feel comfortable waiting about a half hour and then I quietly shut and lock the bedroom door. If the kids need something, don't worry they will not be afraid to knock or scream. Then you can respond properly and all is great. Get comfortable sharing intimate, sexual moments with your spouse when the kids are home. Turn on some music for background noise if you feel uncomfortable with pure silence. Our children are going to be around for many years and our sexual life with suffer if we can not move past the ability to feel comfortable locking our bedroom door. Enjoy passion and seduction in the bedroom. Enjoy feeling free and expressive. Enjoy your spouse...with the door locked!!!
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 As women we have been taught many beliefs that have created sex to be something of complexity and at times overwhelming. We have been taught that sex is something that men enjoy and women do not. We have heard many things such as " good girls don't do that" or " What will other people think of you" or " Men are pigs" and there are so many more. These statements have influenced your sexuality. If we have bought into the belief that good girls don't do that then how are we going to be comfortable being sexual. If we are concerned about other peoples thoughts of us then we will censor our sexuality because we do not want our partner to judge us. If we have attached to the belief that men are pigs, then how are we going to be intimate with a pig and feel good about it. We have created many beliefs about our selves when it comes to sexuality. I am calling you to action. I am challenging you to question your beliefs. When we start questioning our beliefs then we can release beliefs that are not serving us in the bedroom. We get to release these beliefs that cause us heart ache and disconnection and start creating new beliefs. New beliefs , such as, I am a powerful, loving, hot sexy woman who loves being intimate with her spouse. Good girls do wonderful things in the bedroom...that is what makes them good girls:) When we are confident with our sexual self others will feel an energy of confidence that is exuding from you. They will want to know your secret in how you create that beautiful glow. Men are not pigs...men feel comfortable with their sexuality and express it freely and openly. This is an amazing quality. Expressing your sexual wants and desires makes you amazing and confident not a pig. We get to relax into our sexuality and become comfortable in the bedroom. Challenge your beliefs. Release the beliefs that are not serving you and create new beliefs to allow your inner sexual being to glow and become alive. Relax into your sexuality!  It was Saturday evening. Jeff and I had just had a long talk about what I would like to experience this evening. I am, by nature, the dominant one in the bedroom. I asked Jeff to spend time caressing me, kissing me, touching me softly. Moving slowly and gently Jeff did all the things that I asked and to my surprise I didn't enjoy it as much as I expected. I loved that Jeff did all the things I asked. I enjoyed the intimate connection that was being created BUT I love being the dominant one in the bedroom. I love being the one to touch, kiss, caress, and have my husband in the palm of my hand. This is what turns me on. I thought that I would be able to be the one that laid in bed and received all the pleasure but I found out that what pleases me is being the dominant one. I now know that this has nothing to do with being uncomfortable receiving. This has to do with my sexual preference. I am aware 100% that my place in the bedroom is just that...MY PLACE. I love being the giver. As I am giving I am more turned on then I am by being the receiver. My husband is an excellent lover and knows all the right moves. He is amazing and is always focused on making sure that I am satisfied in and out of the bedroom. We get to find our place in the bedroom. Try being the giver and then try being the receiver. See which one fits your personality better. They will both feel great but one will feel RIGHT! We get to become comfortable with our place in the bedroom. Do not be ashamed if you are dominant in the bedroom. This is a great place to express who you are. The bedroom is a place where you can find many of your inner truths. Start feeling comfortable with yourself in and out of the bedroom. I promise you will feel liberated by doing so!  After years of marriage and going to bed with the same person every night it is easy to have a mental script of what every night may look like. We either make a decision to read in bed, work in bed, watch t.v in bed, or we roll over and go to sleep. We get to rewrite our bedroom script. The bedroom is where magic happens. The bedroom is the place where walls come down and true intimacy is shared. The bedroom is the place where you can express your inner goddess and she is received with open arms. The bedroom is a place where you can live out our inner most sexual desires and we get to do this with the person we love. We get to rewrite our bedroom script. Tonight after the kids are in bed, slip into something sexy, something you would not normally wear. This will activate the sexual energy that you may be suppressing. Lock your doors and put on some music that ignites your flame. Then lavish each others bodies. Sex is not just intercourse. Sex is an event that should last for at least 30 minutes if you have a few hours that is even better. Rewrite your script. Act as thou you have just met and make out for at least 10 minutes before any penetration can occur. Ask your husband to not touch your boobs or vagina and get you excited in other ways until you are begging him to unleash his sexual manhood on you. Remember all the ways you wanted to sexually connect when you first met. Take some of these ways and implement them into your sexual life. Sex is fun, creative, beautiful and passionate. Sex can be slow, soft, long, hard, peaceful or full of intense energy that makes you feel like you could hurt each other ( in a loving way). Rewrite your sexual script. Try something new or try something you know will be effective. Create a commitment and try something new at least 1 times every week. The more sexual we are with one another on a consistent basis the more sexual energy will develop and expand. Keep being sexual and soon you will not be able to keep your hands off one another. We have been married for 11.5 years and together for 13. I am more confident, secure and sexual then I have ever been but I put in the effort daily. Sex is super important in a marriage. Sex makes me feel happy and excited. I love learning new things and trying them out. Sex is the same way. Keep learning, growing and expanding your knowledge and soon you will be the sexual soul you deserve to be. Rewrite your sexual script!  Don't try to change one another...just love one
another In Marriage it is so easy for couples to start wanting the other person to change. We start feeling and thinking things that are not emotionally supportive for a healthy marriage. When we start thinking things that support destruction and disconnection then the gap becomes larger and larger between the two of us and then before we know it we feel as thou we would be happier alone or with someone else. I know what I am talking about as I use to be a wife that did this. I use to think things like... life would be easier on my own Or I would think... I wish my husband made more money or at times I would feel and think that my husband and I had very little in common. When I was feeling and thinking these kind of thought these are the things I started experiencing in my marriage. I started feeling disconnected and alone in my marriage. About a year ago I was speaking to a friend of mine and I was voicing these thoughts and feelings to her. She then stated to me, " if you keep stating these things then those will be the things you experience in your marriage". I never wanted to be one of those wives that dominated, demand and acted needy of her husband. I realized after this conversation that I had taken a few steps in the wrong direction. After that conversation I now think and feel beautiful thoughts about my husband and my marriage. I think things like... My life would not be easier without my husband because I am choosing to love him not needing to. I do not care what type of income my husband brings home as he loves, supports and gives 100% to this family. I love that I have realized with positive thoughts and positive feelings I can create the marriage we both deserve. I know that I am living with the man that loves me, cares for me and says things to me that brighten my soul. Yesterday I heard amazing words that no physical gift could ever give me. The words were..." I know that I could live without you BUT I would never want too. You are the person I want to experience this world with". I love hearing words that show me he is wanting to be here not having to be here. Start focusing on all the positive aspects and all the positive things you and your spouse have created together. Focus on love and happiness. Focus on strengthening your marriage one thought at a time!!!  Orgasms are a great key to health and happiness. They
help us to remember who we are, beyond our everyday reality. Orgasms are a path to truth and the meaning of life. ~Dr. Annie Sprinkle Female orgasm is a beautiful experience. Once we learn to relax and connect openly and honestly with our spouse and ourselves then orgasm can be empowering and liberating. We get to realize there are many different sensations when we are being sexual. There are also many different types of orgasms we can experience. When we become comfortable with ourselves sexually and with experimenting and not being afraid then these orgasmic sensations, will be fun and exciting. Women can have an orgasm with breast stimulation alone. I personally had never experienced such an orgasm until about a month ago. I am 35 and have just got to the point, about a year ago, that I am completely comfortable and I feel 100% safe with my husband. Trusting and feeling safe are so important when we are wanting to experience different sexual orgasms. Have your husband kiss you for a while and then start slowly and softly rubbing your breast over your shirt. Then when you feel it is right lose the shirt and add some soft kissing and small, gentle nibbles. It is amazing that you can orgasm this way but is it so nice as the vaginal area never comes into play. TRY IT! Another experience I have recently experienced is female ejaculation. When my husband and I are intimate there are times I feel the extreme sensation that I am going to urinate. I would never want to urinate in such a beautiful moment so I always have pulled back and shifted positions so this sensation would stop. After reading many books on sex I found out that this is the feeling you will feel before you ejaculate. I feel super comfortable with my husband so I told him before hand that I was going to lean into this feeling and see what happened. It was the first time I allowed myself to release into this sensation and female ejaculation did occur. I don't want to be to graphic but I feel it may serve other women who experience this and may be ashamed or embarrassed. I released a lot of clear fluid. I was squirting out small amounts of fluid with force. It was not urine. It had no smell and it was a clear fluid. It was an amazing experience as I was wanting it to happen. I can see how this could be embarrassing if I had no idea what was happening and my husband and I assumed that I had urinated during sex. As women there are so many amazing sexual experiences. We must relax and become comfortable with them. Enjoy ourselves and let our sexual, sensual self take over in the bedroom. Release inhabitations and become the sexual woman God created you to be. No shame and No guilt just pure pleasure and pure love! There are many books on this subject. You can check them out from the library or buy them on Amazon. Here are 2 that I have enjoyed Female Ejaculation and the G-spot ~ by Deborah Sundahl The ultimate guide to Orgasm for women ~by Mikaya Heart  When we fall in love and decide to commit your lives to one another, we are committing to not only being together forever but also we are committing that we will be best friends forever. As a husband and wife it is easy to fall into a rut of disconnection and despair. To have an amazing sexual connection with one another...friendship is a must. It is easy to feel as thou you require a best friend of the same gender BUT if you can come to a point where your husband or wife is your best friend then you will have a deep connection that will support you in the bedroom. I know at times I look outwards for support and understanding. I feel as thou I am missing something in my life because I do not have a go to girl that understands me and my emotions. In these moments I realize I have the most amazing, understanding, supportive person right by my side but I at times I can by into societies picture of what a best friend is. My best friend is my husband. He knows everything about me. He understands me in a way that no other person can. He is my everything. He is there anytime I require support with all his love and all his friendship. We can talk for hours, we can laugh together, I can cry and he feels my pain. He supports me in the perfect way. I suggest that we start looking inward and first love ourselves unconditionally but also allow our spouse to be our best friend. In marriage we have a built in best friend. It comes with the package if we open up and allow it to. We are on the same team and we have similar goals and similar interests. Remember why you married this man. Remember all the fun times and cherished moments that brought you both together. Let your guard down and open up to your spouse. You will feel connected, loved, supported and complete. Friendship is so amazing and it is even more amazing when that best friend is your partner in life. The one you will forever love, your kindred spirit, your spouse, your lover, your best friend!  The first 3 things that come to mind when I say sexual muscles are my mind, my transverse abdominal muscles and my pelvic floor muscles. We really get to strengthen and tone all of these. The mind is such a powerful tool when it comes to sex. Some woman can think themselves to orgasm. When I first read about this I thought this sounds extremely rare but I have got to the point, after a year of constant awareness and consistent steps to improve my sexual connection, I can think myself into a mini orgasmic feeling. The saying " what the mind can believe it can achieve" is definitely true in the sexual department. Use your mind in a beneficial way to improve your sexual self. State positive affirmation and always use positive statement when you are talking to yourself about your sex drive and the passion you have for your spouse. The mind is our greatest tool for satisfying sex. The next few things are physical muscles. The lower abdominal muscles and our pelvic floor muscles. When we strengthen these muscles our sexual response and pleasure will intensify. Most women have heard of kegel exercises. These are the muscles that we would use to stop the flow of urine. We can tighten and release these muscles all throughout the day. This is an exercise that no one knows you are doing but will give you mind blowing results in the bedroom. Since we all do a lot of drive I have developed the habit of doing 10 at every red light I approach. This has been very effective for me. If you do not do a lot of driving then create your own reminder to do them. Something more like every time you change a diaper, or every time you take the clothes out of the dryer, or every time you do a dish... you can use this as a super set day! ha-ha! The next muscle that will assist you in having more pleasure physically in the orgasm department is your lower belly muscles. Start finding a way to do movements that build this muscle. You will have stronger abs but you will also have stronger more intense orgasms. Sex is something that we have to focus on improving and strengthening. Sex is an amazing act that can release a lot of stress, produce many feel good hormones and creates a sexual connection to our spouse that is out of this world. The orgasms that will be experienced after around a month of doing these exercises will be unbelievable...I PROMISE! |
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