 This has been an amazing week for my husband and I. The children have went to visit Grandma and Grandpa for a whole week. I felt like this could be a quiet week without the children and while I enjoy some quiet time I decided to tap into my sexual power. I did some meditating, some reading about sex the title of the book is..."The good girls guide to bad girls sex" and also watched an erotic film. Normally I would never do the last one but I was getting a feeling that this was the direction I was suppose to take. For me ...this was the best thing I could have done. I used the erotic film not just for pleasure but to educate myself. This lit a flame inside me that has been out for years. I felt excited to share myself with my husband in new and exciting ways. We have experienced things in the bedroom the last 4 days that we have never experienced in 12 years of marriage. I feel more comfortable and confident stepping out of the box....WAY OUT of the box then I ever have before. I am not saying that you have to watch something that makes you feel uncomfortable or read something that makes you feel dirty BUT I am saying do something that turns your fire on and up. Do something that turns you and your spouse on that is out of the norm. Do something in the bedroom that creates the feeling of anticipation and excitement. Plan something that causes butterflies in your stomach. Send your spouse a very descriptive plan of what you are going to do to him...then DO IT! Tap into that erotic, sexual, sensual self that you know is inside you somewhere. Find things that will awaken your hot, sexy, sexual self. There are things for everyone that will ignite this flame and I suggest you use tools that you feel connected with to assist yourself in growing stronger sexually. Lets all take some time and step out of our box....either a little out or WAY OUT. I promise you will be so excited you did. You will discover a sexual charge that has been waiting to get tapped into!
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 Today allow yourself to open up and share a fantasy in the bedroom. I know that we all have fantasies. We may even have fantasies that may never be able to come true due to our morality but we can still discuss them with our partner. It is so much fun to talk openly about the thoughts we have about sex. Choose to find a time that you can open up with one another and talk about sex with no judgment or criticism. This may be intimidating at first so make it short and sweet. If you have a fantasy of acting out a shower scene you have witnessed in a movie then share this. I am sure you will receive a surprising response from your spouse. If you have a hard time verbally connecting then write your spouse a short letter and pick a time and day that this fantasy will be created in your relationship. You may be nervous at first but I know that you will feel more free in your sexuality. When we feel trapped and our sexuality is being suppressed then we can create anger, distance and regret in our relationship. When we feel trapped we start feeling and looking for an out. We have to start stepping out into the freedom of our sexual selves. Sex is an art that can and deserves to be mastered. Freedom of sexual expression is a powerful tool that can and will allow you to feel more sexually secure. Start standing strong and remember how it feels to share your wants and desires with the person you have choose to spend your life with. This is the one person that can assist you in bringing all your sexual desires to life. Start writing your own sexual script and start creating a sensual connection that only the two of you can experience.  Take the desperation out of your marriage I speak to women everyday and I hear over and over again " I couldn't live without my husband". I ask them to rethink that statement. We should be married to our spouse out of choice not desperation. Marriage is beautiful and amazing but at times, it is also difficult and a challenge. When we are coming from a place of choice and love rather then desperation and force then marriage is easier. When I look at my husband I know that I am with him because he is my best friend. The one person I can tell and share everything with...and yes I mean everything. I love my husband so much but I do not need him. I choose him. I can live without him but I choose not to. I can support my family without him but I choose not to. I can feel secure being by myself but I choose not to I choose him. I choose to have Jeff by my side. When we change our perception of marriage it will change how we feel about our sexuality as well. When we know we are choosing this person for all the greatness we can share then sex will be something that we are choosing as well. We are choosing to share ourselves sexually it is not out of force or desperation because we need our husbands to love us. When we love ourselves and look inward instead of outward we will find the love and passion we are searching for and this love and passion will come from ourselves not our spouse. Remember all the things that assisted you in falling in love with your spouse and fall in love with those things all over again. Love them for who they are and what they bring to the relationship not for approval and validation. You do not need your spouse... you have choose them to be part of your life. The only person that you require love, approval and validation from is yourself. Remind yourself everyday how special you are. Talk to yourself in a happy and health way and start expanding your security within. |
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