The Christmas season is the busiest time of year for my parents business. I have offered to assist them during the month of December so they don't have to work so hard.  They do Construction cleaning so it is not an easy job.  Movement is a huge part of the business so you are never and I mean never just sitting or standing around. So many people want to be in their new home for Christmas so my parents go in and make the inside of the house ready for these families to live in. When you walk into the home it is a disaster but with hard work and some soap and water...whola , it is bright, shiny and ready for some new family love.

While I was cleaning a house yesterday the smoke detector kept saying " Low battery". It said it over and over and over and over again for the whole 4 hours we were there. I thought it was annoying but it also created this question inside my brain.

How many of us want to have a marriage with amazing sex but we just keep saying " Low battery...low battery...low battery..."? This comes in the form of emotional distress, depression, disgust, despair, insecurities and so many other feelings that create the feeling of LOW BATTERY.

The only way to get that smoke detector to stop saying " Low Battery" over and over again is to replace her batteries. Once she has a new fresh pair of batteries she will be content and ready for her day.  When she starts to feel drained , she will start saying " Low Battery" over and over again.

Our emotional state inside our marriage reminds me of this smoke detector.  It is easy to just sit and want someone else to replace your batteries but this will never create happiness and growth. When we look to our spouse to replace our batteries we will most likely feel disappointed because even if they send flowers, plan a romantic date or do the dishes, the receptionist will not be there to receive them in the full manner she should because someone else can not produce your own inner happiness.

We must work on and take action to replace our batteries. We must decide to move forward and through some emotional pain so we can show up fully and receive all the beauty our marriage has to offer.

When we take on our own self and make it a point to have fresh batteries then we will feel excited, happy, peaceful and presence inside our skin. When we have fresh batteries we can empower our marriage and become the receptionist. We will be able to see, feel and know the beauty of fresh flowers being brought home to us. Dishes being done for us and a romantic vacation being planned for us. When we take action and become connected to our feminine nature we will flourish and add absolute value to our marriage.

We also get to replace our sexual batteries. When it comes to the bedroom it is really easy to say " LOW BATTERY" over and over and over again. This is so damaging. Sex is such an amazing expression of love and pleasure. Sex is giving and receiving at the same time. Sex is energy that can be expressed in many different forms. Sex can be soft and gentle or sex can be hard and rough. Sex can be enjoyed for hours or sex can take 10 minutes.  Sex can be a you give and I will receive exchange or sex can be we will both give and both receive exchange. Sex can be full of passion and pleasure or sex can be full of sadness and pain. Sex can be full of emotion and sex can also feel emotionless. The duality of sex can be a beautiful thing is we can become emotionally safe inside our body.

The bedroom is a place where we must take action and have FRESH BATTERIES. I know sex can bring us so many painful emotions but if we don't take action and process through these emotions then we will always be repeating " Low Battery...Low Battery...Low Battery..."

Marriage is hard and Marriage is amazing. We get to choose everyday how we want to show up inside our marriage. We also get to choose how we show up with and in our sexual energy.

Choose to have Fresh Batteries. You deserve it. You are amazing and deserve to have a marriage that is full of passion, pleasure, peace and prosperity.

I became a Mother at the age of 20. I have been in some type of Mommy mode most of my adult life.

Mommy mode is one of my favorite modes. I found that it can be such a fun mode that I have a hard time switching gears and turning it off. I am always a Mother. No matter where my children are and no matter how old they become I will forever be a Mother.

Being a Mother is amazing but we get to remember that we are women as well. Sexual, vibrant, fun loving, outgoing, excited about life women. We get to remember that we have a husband who loves and adores us and he will love and adore us even more when we can be more open with our sexual energy.

This last week we had no children in the house. The two younger ones went to Grandma and Grandpas for the week and our oldest one is off at college. My husband worked all week and I decided to work right along side of him, helping him and just being with him.

When we would get home I wanted to try a few things for myself to see how I would feel.

One night I wanted to be topless and see how comfortable I felt as well as being topless in front of my husband. Wow, this was really challenging at first. So many thoughts and beliefs came up and I felt insecure and unsure. How many of us can say that we walk around the house topless? In fact can you look back on your life and remember walking around topless at all, ever? I know that I have had many experiences in my life but I have never been topless for hours. This is really a very eye opening experience. Try it. I know that we all don't have the ability to send the kids to grandmas for a week but there is some way that you can create this environment so you can have this experience. Being vulnerable and being seen is scary but also extremely liberating. If just the thought of doing this creates uncomfortable feelings then start off brushing your teeth topless, doing your hair topless, or if no one is home walk around for a bit topless. We must get comfortable inside our bodies as well as getting comfortable showing our bodies to our husbands. Men are very visual. They like seeing.  This may take a some time but we deserve to embrace our bodies and become comfortable expressing our feminine nature.

Another night I walked around the house in just a tank top and my undies. I felt more comfortable with this experiment because I feel very confident with my lower body. I have always loved my legs and my butt is finally starting to pop out a bit so this experiment was a little less intimidating. I still felt some uncomfortable feelings at first because clothing is a big part of our lives, right? We very rarely walk around the house in our panties but I want to feel comfortable inside my body as well as comfortable using my body to attract the eyes and attention of my husband sexually. I know he loves me and looks at me sexually even when I am fully clothed but I want to master the art of seduction and this was a step in that direction.

Decide today to do something new and something sexual. We want our sexual energy to expand inside of our marriage not shrink.

We all want to have amazing sex. This is something that takes time, commitment, dedication and the willingness to get outside of our comfort zones.

Sexual energy is our creative energy. Don't be afraid to try new things. Some of these things will be fun and exciting and some of these things will bring up some emotional pain and resistance.

Deciding to have an amazing sex life is the best thing you can do for yourself emotionally. It will awaken you to the depths of your core and allow you to process beliefs, feelings and emotions that you didn't even realize are there.



Try something new

Hello

Today I wanted to ask you to take some time to answer some very personal questions.

1~ Where did you learn about sex?

2~ Was sex something that was a  positive thing or was it a negative thing?

3~ Did you feel comfortable expressing yourself sexually?

4~ How did you decide to be sexual?

5~ Why did you choose to have sex for the first time?

6~ How did you feel when you watched another person express their sexual wants and desires?

7~ How did your parents respond to you becoming a sexual being?

When we are growing up our parents assist us so much in life. They teach us how to walk. They teach us how to talk.
They  teach us how to say the alphabet and how to sing itsy bitsy spider. They love us and they support us. They watch us grow through school. They watch us become our own person. They support our goals and encourage our dreams. They help us when we fall and cheer for us as we brave this storm we call life. Parents are absolutely amazing. They teach, guide and love us on our own personal journey of self expression and self acceptance.  

Then one evening as we are getting ready for a girls night out, we hear things like " That top is to tight, those shorts are  to short, you are wearing to much makeup, are you looking for every mans attention,   and we notice something. We notice the judgment , the guilt, the shame and the embarrassment of our parents noticing this sexual being standing in front of them.

Sex is absolutely amazing and terrifying at the exact same time. Some parents may have had an excellent dialogue with their children about their sexual awakening but for most of us our sexual awakening activated so much pain, fear and shame inside our parents. Then our parents doing what they thought was best projected all their sexual guilt and worry onto us.  So by asking yourself these questions and taking time to answer them will really assist us in releasing beliefs that no longer serve us in our marriage.

We want to be able to awaken slutty sally and feel empowered doing so, not ashamed. A confident, sext, sexual woman is one of the most beautiful things in this world. We are all carrying around this wounded inner child. We get to help her heal. We get to love and accept her. We get to embrace her and tell her that the world is safe and her sexuality can be expressed. Marriage is amazing but it will DIE without great sex. If we are not having great sex or any sex then we are living with a friend.

Sex will awaken some deep hidden pain. If we choose to face that pain and lean into it, I promise when you come out the other side, it is worth it.

Ask yourself the 7 questions above and answer them. Answer them with an open heart and a loving spirit.

I have shared my answers below to each question hoping it will assist you in answering these with no judgment.

MY ANSWERS

1~ Where did I learn about sex?
I grow up in a household of boys and I was the only girl and the youngest. I would watch my brothers talk so openly about their wants and desires. I would see them looking at sexy magazines and hear them talk to one another. I would also hear the kind of music they listened to. Bands like Naughty by Nature and Too Short. I know my brothers never thought that they were influencing me but they were and this was a huge part of where I learned about sex.  I also had friends that had porn and we would get together and watch them.  I was disgusted and intrigued at the same time.

2~ Was sex something that was a positive thing or a negative thing?
It was a very negative thing when I was growing up. My parents never talked to me about it much and once time in 9th grade I kissed my boyfriend in front of my mom, with tongue, and she was furious with me. I felt so much shame and so much guilt. I always had a strong desire for sexual connection. I loved kissing and making out. I had so many sexual thoughts and dreams, but I always experienced guilt and shame. Sex was definitely a negative thing for me.

3~ Did I feel comfortable expressing myself sexually?
I loved expressing my sexual energy. I wore short shorts and tight tops all the time. I loved being wild and crazy.
I loved being sexual but I never felt comfortable. I always felt like I was doing something shameful and bad. My sexual energy was something I loved and hated at the same time. I knew boys would love my sexual side so I used it to get approval from them but I was not comfortable with my sexuality I was more troubled with my sexuality.

4~ How did I decide to be sexual?
I was born with sexual energy...anyway that's how I feel. I have always been drawn to sexual things. Magazines, movies, music and some people. I was attracted to girls and boys. I remember playing house with a friend and I was the husband. As we pretended to go to bed for the night and went down on her. That was my very first sexual experience that I choose to take part in.

5~ Why did I choose to have sex for the first time?
I choose to have sex for the first time because I felt as thou I really loved my boyfriend. We did end up staying together for 2 years and I have no regrets when it comes to sharing myself with him.

6~ How do I feel when I watch another person express themselves sexually?
Wow, this one has so many answers. I feel excited and embarrassed. I feel awakened and like I want to hid at the same time. I feel love and I feel judgment. I feel insecure and self conscious. I feel alive and nervous.  I feel ashamed and I feel like I may learn something. I feel both the light and the dark inside activate. It comes with such duality that it has been something I have been working on for years now.

7~ I already addressed this in my blog.

These answers can really bring light to your sexual wants, desires and beliefs.  For us to awaken to the sexual beings that we are we must shine a light on places we have choose to keep dark.

Don't judge, blame or shame anyone or anything. Just notice what comes up and release it.

We must release

We must forgive

We must awaken our sexual selves and know that we are adults now ,who can choose to be empowered and pleasured inside our sexual energy. There is no need to hid or shrink. There is only a need to expand and explore.

Here is to becoming a woman of love, light and sexual yumminess!