I have noticed that certain days my man touches ,well not touches, grabs my butt and I feel my eyes do a slight roll. Why would I ever roll my eyes when my husband touches, grabs or caresses my in a seductive manner. He is just expressing his wants and desire for me, but after years of marriage I can take the grab of my butt as something that annoys me instead of flatters me. Men are sexual creatures and no matter what ,they are wanting to express their sexual desire in some form. My husband will come up behind me and kiss my neck ever so lightly...WOW, this gets my motor revved! My husband will look down my shirt when I am doing bent over rows while working out and his eyes tell me that he would like me to bend over without the rows. I can say something simple and straight forward and my hubby can turn that statement into me somehow ending up giving him pleasure orally. Something such as, " wow, this really sucks that I can't get a hold of the car dealership" and my husband will come back with something like " I got something that you can suck". He is just expressing his desire and want for me. So I get to choose how I am going to respond to these acts of sexual expression. I choose to enjoy them. I choose to long for them. I choose to accept them in loving and exciting way.
Sexual expression is different for men and women. I have found when I appreciate the butt grabs and I lean into my husband when he is behind me kissing and rubbing me then he feels wanted and desired as well. He know I want him as much as he wants me. He may have to wait for a more appropriate time for me to fully express my want but he knows that I enjoy the moments that we intimately connect for a brief moment.
I also love that my kids see this. I want my children to be comfortable with their sexuality all through their lives and when my husband and I touch one another in a seductive way then we may hear words like " Dad just grabbed moms butt" or they will cover their eyes and shake their heads but I know that they are learning that mommy and daddy love one another and we enjoy expressing that love. Kids deserve to see their parents kiss, touch, and express their want and desire towards one another.
This story was posted on ABC4 Utah and I felt called to share my viewpoint. This is just MY viewpoint.
I agree that porn can be very destructive but I also feel as thou porn has
such an amazing appeal as people are expressing there sexual wants and desires
in an open and blunt way. We are sexual beings and I personally feel that many
humans are sexually repressed. Look at all the shows and games that are all
about human torture and mutilation. Society does not get all up in arms about
this...WHY! Human torture is awful but yet there are hundreds of shows that come
out every year that rake in millions of dollars but a show comes out with a
story line of sexual expression and protestors arrive! It is 2013 and sex is
still so repressed and hush hush. I feel as thou marriages should be focusing on
building a solid, healthy, beautiful connection in the bedroom. The first thing
to go in most marriages is the importance of sex! Lets face it men like to feel wanted, needed, and they want to feel their wife wants them sexually. Most women do not feel sexual after
taking care of all the daily duties of bills, kids, errands, dinner, laundry,
etc. This is where porn can fill this void for men and many women as well. Porn
is not just a mans addiction many women are addicted to porn as well or book porn
( romance/ erotic novels). Men are sexual creatures and I feel like there should
not be so much shame and judgment placed upon men who fall into this porn trap.
Our sexuality is normal and when we feel as thou we can not express our
sexuality naturally and openly then secrets begin . I feel as thou married
couples really get to become more open with sexual discussions and really begin
focusing on how IMPORTANT sex is in marriage. Porn is attractive, as there is no
judgment and no feelings of rejection, just pure pleasure (that usually is
followed with a big dose of GUILT). I can see how porn can become addictive and
destructive. Most porn shows a very skewed and trashy view on what sex is. Porn
does distort our reality and this is where I feel porn is dangerous. I am very
passionate about sex in marriage with no judgment attached. I personally have
been addicted to porn and so has my husband but we supported and loved each
other through the process . Sometimes there was hurt emotions and hurt egos ( I say hurt egos because this is usually the part of us that is hurt, the inner self talk that starts blaming ourselves or feeling like this addiction is a reflection of us personally) but
we never attached ourselves to the addiction as when it comes right down to it
porn addiction is filling a void for an emotional trauma that has been
experienced in our lives. When we are loved and supported through this process
it is so much easier to let it go!
I want you to take a minute and really think about the thoughts you have when it comes to having sex and being sexual with your spouse. I am sure we have all heard that our thoughts create our reality. This goes for the thoughts we have about sex as well. When we allow our minds to start thinking thoughts that are negative about our sexual relationship these thought then turn into our sexual reality. Here are some thoughts that may be causing a sexual disconnect in and out of the bedroom.
Start shifting your sexual thoughts. Become Sex Positive in your everyday attitude with your spouse.
My name is Cameo .I have been married for 19 years and with my husband for 20.5 years. I know that the sexual connection in a marriage can create strength and happiness and I also know the lack of a sexual connection can leave you feeling empty and dissatisfied. Lets get real open and become sexually satisfied in our marriages!