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11/8/2013

Take the judgment out of sexual addictions

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This story was posted on ABC4 Utah and I felt called to share my viewpoint. This is just MY viewpoint.
http://www.4utah.com/story/sex-addiction-trap-leaving-utah-wives-feeling-betrayal-trauma/d/story/VZEMAUOVL0WE2WDEQTUljg








I agree that porn can be very destructive but I also feel as thou porn has
such an amazing appeal as people are expressing there sexual wants and desires
in an open and blunt way. We are sexual beings and I personally feel that many
humans are sexually repressed. Look at all the shows and games that are all
about human torture and mutilation. Society does not get all up in arms about
this...WHY! Human torture is awful but yet there are hundreds of shows that come
out every year that rake in millions of dollars but a show comes out with a
story line of sexual expression and protestors arrive! It is 2013 and sex is
still so repressed and hush hush. I feel as thou marriages should be focusing on
building a solid, healthy, beautiful connection in the bedroom. The first thing
to go in most marriages is the importance of sex! Lets face it men like to feel wanted, needed, and they want to feel their wife wants them sexually. Most women do not feel sexual after
taking care of all the daily duties of bills, kids, errands, dinner, laundry,
etc. This is where porn can fill this void for men and many women as well. Porn
is not just a mans addiction many women are addicted to porn as well or book porn
( romance/ erotic novels). Men are sexual creatures and I feel like there should
not be so much shame and judgment placed upon men who fall into this porn trap.
Our sexuality is normal and when we feel as thou we can not express our
sexuality naturally and openly then secrets begin . I feel as thou married
couples really get to become more open with sexual discussions and really begin
focusing on how IMPORTANT sex is in marriage. Porn is attractive, as there is no
judgment and no feelings of rejection, just pure pleasure (that usually is
followed with a big dose of GUILT). I can see how porn can become addictive and
destructive. Most porn shows a very skewed and trashy view on what sex is. Porn
does distort our reality and this is where I feel porn is dangerous. I am very
passionate about sex in marriage with no judgment attached. I personally have
been addicted to porn and so has my husband but we supported and loved each
other through the process . Sometimes there was hurt emotions and hurt egos ( I say hurt egos because this is usually the part of us that is hurt, the inner self talk that starts blaming ourselves or feeling like this addiction is a reflection of us personally) but
we never attached ourselves to the addiction as when it comes right down to it
porn addiction is filling a void for an emotional trauma that has been
experienced in our lives. When we are loved and supported through this process
it is so much easier to let it go!


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