 I absolutely love this picture. To me it stands for the connection that lovers long for in and out of the bedroom. The Coming together of two souls that long for the sexual and spiritual passion. After two weeks of no naked intimacy with my husband I felt as thou I had been able to process some of my emotions and wanted to be sexual and see how I felt. I was really relaxed and excited. I was in a space of purpose and clear intention in the bedroom. I focused on connecting in a spiritual and sexual way with healthy and happy emotions. I focused on emotions of love, peace, beauty and wholeness. We also went back to kissing for long periods of time with some light carressing involved. I feel after many years with the same lover we can easily forget how amazing kissing and carressing can be. The power and beauty that kissing can create, for me, is wonderful. For me, kissing activates all my sexual senses. I become sexually alive with a sensually seductive kiss. While making love we continued to kiss the majority of the time. This almost full time kissing really assisted me in staying focused, connected and centered. I had an amazing experience, I experienced no anger just pure passion and love. There is something very awakening when we are being sexual with a clear intention. An intention to love, an intention to be, an intention to share ourselves in the most beautiful way we can. Sex is and can be so many things. Focus on what you want it to be and create the environment to experience it. We get to realize that we deserve to have the most amazing sexual connection with our spouse and the only way we can achieve this is by removing the layers of anger and sadness and replacing them with love, peace and togetherness. Take small steps to create a strong sexual foundation in your marriage. You both deserve it and wil
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 Today I am here to share something very personal. For 2 weeks I have not been sexually intimate with my husband. I have been working through my sexual blocks for the last year and a half and sharing them on this site for everyone to read and maybe I can assist someone who is experiencing something very similiar. I am sharing my view points from the emotional side of sex and also the physical side of sex. I am going to be 36 this April. When I look deep within my soul I realize my sexual foundation has been built on very shakey ground.I experienced sexual trauma at a young age and then I learned about sex through playboy magazines and watching porn. I am the only girl in my family with 6 older brothers.I heard many comments that came from a very sexual view point . I am not blaming anyone but I learned at a very young age if I was thin, dressed racy, had a flirty demeanor about me then I could get most boys attention....and I did. Sex always intimidated me but the making out part, the capturing...I was really good at. I felt powerful and in control. I also felt intense rage and anger. I still do. I feel angry most the time when I am being sexual. I feel as thou I am doing something that I do not want to do. I feel violated. I feel pissed off. I feel sad. I feel disconnected . I feel cheated that I am unable to experience the beautiful, spiritual sexual realm that I know exist. I have had many great experiences over the last year and a half. I have released blocks and opened up in new and exciting ways. I have tried many new things in the bedroom, some have been great and some have been not so great BUT no matter what I do 95% of the time this emotion of silent anger is present.
So I opened up to my husband and asked him to give me some space in the sexual area of our relationship. We still hug, hold hands, kiss and sit super close to one another on the couch but now I am allowed internally to relax into these moments. I am feeling spiritually connected in these moments. I am present. I am allowing. I am loving. I feel free. I feel free to be me and allow these wonderful moments of connection and love to flow through me. I feel more connected to who I am as a person in the last few weeks. If we are having sex and in this loving moment we are feeling angry and disconnected then we get to take some time away from the nakedness of the relationship. Be open through this sexual, emotional experience with your spouse. Let them know about your life experiences when it comes to sex and share personal and in depth stories. When we open up to one another then we can work through and release blocks. If your spouse knows why you would like some time to just be in the marriage without sexual expectations then they will know it is not them that you are denying. It will be hard for them as I know it is hard for my hubby but I know that he loves, respects and cherishes me as a person. He wants me to be happy, healthy and whole. He wants me to feel and experience the beautiful, spiritual sexual realm. He knows that I am experiencing something very emotional and very personal. He is allowing me to ....BE. I am so grateful to have such an amazing husband. I am so grateful to have the most amazing life partner . I am so grateful to have the best friend a girl could ever have. I am grateful to experience this life with Jeff...we are kindred souls. Don't be afraid to share your feelings with your spouse. Open up and allow your life to be shared and experienced with one another. Don't hide and shut down. Be brave, be connected, be honest, be sincere and be yourself. In a marriage we want to support and love one another. This moment in our marriage has been inspiring and transformational. I love and respect Jeff more and more with each passing day. I know he was meant for me and I was meant for him. I know this connection took place so we could learn exactly what we wanted to learn when it comes to an emotional, physical, sexual and spiritual relationship. Thank you baby for loving me just the way I am right at this moment. |
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