For years I have been on this road to sexual self discovery. I am still traveling down the road but I feel like I have a good solid map and know exactly where my destination is.
SEX IS NOT BLACK OR WHITE
When it comes to Mrs. Vagina she can be all about right or wrong and good or bad. She can quickly shift through and sort through many emotions and many actions and then determine if this is a good and acceptable emotion or if this is an unacceptable emotion and she should feel bad for even having the thought.
When I lived by this rule in my marriage I was slowly dying inside. I wanted to get so fucking wild in bed but my good girl side would say " that is unacceptable".I wanted to explore my sexuality with my husband but my good girl would say "just do your wifely duty and it will be fine". I wanted to feel orgasmic in bed, not just a little orgasmic I wanted to experience what it felt like to completely surrender. To be so engulfed in the sexual expression of mine and my husbands love for each other that I lost myself totally in this beautiful, amazing mind blowing sex but my good girl side would say "just be happy with having an orgasm". I wanted to suck my husbands dick in the way that he only dreamed of but my good girl side would say " just go up and down in a steady motion and he will enjoy it".
So my good girl and I came head to head. I listened to her feelings and understood how she felt and she listened to my feelings of wanting to explore more and express my true sexual nature. We fought back and forth for years and finally we have came to an agreement. WE BOTH WIN!
I can have amazing sensual, soft , sexy sex and be perfectly happy in this space. I can have a mind blowing fuck session where my husband is able to express his sexual dominance and I can be perfectly happy in this space. I can have a 5 minute quickie and feel happy in that space or my husband and I can express our passion towards one another for hours and I am happy in that space. I can express my sexual creativeness by sending a naughty text or a wild picture and I am happy in that space or I can send a text of sadness and a picture of vulnerability and be happy in this space.
Sex is an amazing expression of everything we are. There should be no limit to what you want to experience and how you want to experience it...as long as you and your husband agree then anything goes.
Stop putting so many damn labels on who you are and who you are not in the bedroom. Start taking steps to express your wants and desires. Start loving your hot and wild thoughts and share those with your husband.
You deserve to embrace your sexual self. Explore...Experiment...Enlighten your sexual self!