This morning after I worked out and had my morning ice coffee I opened my email and found this little gem inside awaiting for me to open it.
" several of us girlfriends were reading your self love posts, you fall short every time admission on masturbating, and sidestep it a bit. do you or don't you condone or condemn it. We girlfriends speak often of it with each other, around each other, who does or doesn't, who does or doesn't with or without or in front of or in private with boyfriends or husbands even. I think your Utah roots maybe make you too conservative to actually say or admit, but it may free you more. may help your orgasmic journeys!"
The above statement was from someone who reads my blog. What she states is absolutely true. I closed my eyes for a moment and thought why did I received this message? Here is my answer.
I believe that self love is so important when it comes to the bedroom. I believe that loving our whole body is extremely valuable when it comes to receiving pleasure. When I write about the power of caressing and cherishing ourselves it doesn't often include masturbation as a topic as I don't want my message to get bull dozed by the word masturbation. Being able to enjoy caressing your neck , breast, stomach, thighs and hips can really open up the sexual center of our being. Soft touches and loving glances are amazing when it comes to self love. Being able to touch our own bodies is a must when it comes to receiving sexual pleasure. As for masturbation....
I am no longer going to side step this topic. Wow... I am feeling some resistance when it comes to writing about this, noticing it and releasing it, I am going to just push through and be transparent.
First off let me tell you that I love to masturbate. I enjoy touching my own body and satisfying myself in the most feminine of ways. I know exactly what I like and how to build my sexual energy so it is flowing in the most orgasmic way. I use masturbation as a healing tool. I repeat statements such as " I love you Cameo, You are cherished and you are loved, You are safe to show up in the world". Sometimes I masturbate because I am feeling all this built up energy and I feel like an orgasm will create an internal environment of peace. Of course anytime I watch porn alone I masturbate, although I have released porn for the last 6 months or so. I notice I use porn to tap into the angry emotions I have when it comes to my sexual self. I like porn that is rough and maybe even a bit brutal so I have decide to release it from my life for now. I also can masturbate with nothing on my mind whatsoever. I love to tap into my sexual energy and show myself some amazing self love.
I started masturbating at a very young age. I masturbated every time I took a bath when I was a little girl. I would scoot my bottom down and put my legs up and whola, the magic of water. H2O brought all my sense to life. I always felt so much shame and so much guilt. Masturbation wasn't something I felt comfortable with, I just knew it felt amazing. I was a bathtub masturbater. I still enjoy a little shower fun every now and then but I really enjoy taking time and really loving myself. I don't masturbate in front of my husband as I would rather he please me with his masculine essence. Sometimes I do a little light teasing but that is all, just enough to drive him wild. Masturbation is a personal choice. If it is assisting you in feeling more connected, more grounded and allowing your sexual energy to be more free then I would absolutely suggest you masturbate . Masturbate just enough to keep this part of you turned on but don't masturbate so much that you lose your interest in your husbands magic wand.
If you masturbate and you feel tremendous shame and guilt then you want to take some time and self reflect. Shame and guilt are two of the lowest vibrations. We want our vulva's and vaginas to be vibrating at the highest frequency but we must move up the scale. So allow yourself some room. Allow yourself some space to discover what you like and who you are when it comes to your sexual soul. We carry tremendous pain in our vagina's and we must decide to work through this intense pain so we can get to our paradise. Masturbation may be that key and it may not but you get to decide for yourself.
No matter what you decide know that you deserve to love your body and to love your life. You deserve to enjoy your feminine energy as well as your masculine energy. You deserve to have a connection to the orgasmic woman or man that you are. No shame, no guilt, no right, no wrong, just self discovery at its finest!
9/18/2015 08:19:54 am
Wow, my wife just read a post on FB whereby you share about the big M word. She had me read it and then what ensued was a long discussion of her telling me about her times when I travel and when she is home alone, her total fears of admission of her needs and desires and how she handles it all in our marriage, no pun intended, but I'm blown away. mind blown. some fixing and fun hopefully will follow, but I never knew what I didn't know what I didn't know, etc etc etc
9/18/2015 12:45:45 pm
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I love to hear that by me sharing my life I can assist others. Talking about our sexual wants and desires inside our marriage is so powerful and can absolutely be scary as well. I know that healing will occur for your wife on her journey to self acceptance and it sounds like she has an amazing husband to love and support her a long the way. Thanks again for commenting. I really appreciate it.
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