As I talk to women on a weekly basis I have noticed something that is so interesting to me...most women have a hard time saying the word Vagina! We have a vagina, we are born with a vagina, we came out of a vagina and yet most can hardly say the word. Why? If we can't even say the word vagina how are we possibly going to become connected to ourselves in a sexual way. Lets face it there are many different aspects of sex and sexuality but the vagina is an important part. We can say it is the STAR of the show. Without the vagina the male penis can experience arousal and even orgasm but when the vagina arrives with confidence and flare...the penis can feel its presence in a very powerful way. So as women we get to become really comfortable with the word vagina as well as becoming more comfortable with the physical beauty our vagina brings to the bedroom.
We want to have a healthy emotional connection with our vagina. Take some time and really become clear of any mental and/or emotional blocks that may have been adopted when it comes to your vagina. We get to release any beliefs that have created a negative pattern and commit to creating new beliefs... positive powerful vagina beliefs. The vagina is a beautiful body part. The vagina is AMAZING. The vagina is something we as women should treasure as much as our men do. Men are absolutely fascinated with the vagina. Men love the vagina. Men want to be rubbing, touching, caressing and if at all possible have their penis parked inside the vagina at all times. So your husband loves your vagina and now it is time for you to love it as well. Here are a few exercises to become more connected and comfortable with the word vagina as well as fall in love with your actual vagina. 1. Start using the word vagina. Stop saying " down there" or any other random terms that you are using to replace the word vagina. just call it what it is called...Vagina. Say it 3 times...vagina, vagina, vagina. It is really a pretty word. 2. Take care of your vagina. Make sure you are taking care of her like the gem that she is. Make sure see is washed, shaved(if you like her shaved), polished and ready to be displayed at a moments notice. Passion can happen at anytime and we want our vagina to be the beauty she truly is. 3. Look at your vagina. If you can not even look at your vagina because you feel that she is not what you want her to be then this is creating a negative relationship to your vagina. Look at how beautiful your vagina is. Look just for 10 seconds and work your way up day by day until you become very comfortable with your vaginas presents. 4. Do kegel exercises. This is tightening and releasing the muscles inside the vagina. This will create orgasms that are more intense, a stronger healthier bladder, and a tighter space for your husbands penis pleasure. Start with 30 and then get so you are doing at least 100 a day...10 reps 10 times a day! You and your vagina will be thanking you, maybe even screaming out in orgasmic pleasure....THANK YOU! Commit to establishing a healthier relationship with your vagina. You and your vagina will be happier, healthier and more satisfied in and out of the bedroom.
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Take a moment and think of the last time I experienced a night full of pleasure and passion?
When was the last time I created a space for myself and my spouse to fully explore one another and show each other sensual love? Am I able to relax and breath into my body or do I hold my breath and tighten up my body when I am in a sexual environment? Am I able to receive pleasure? Am I able to give pleasure? Can I show up fully naked without judgment and fear? Do I take time to create space to experience sexual satisfaction? I feel as women we deserve to take time and really dive into the answers of these questions. Why have we shut this part of ourselves off? Why is receiving pleasure difficult for us? Do we feel unworthy? Do we feel unsafe? Do we feel judged? Are we comparing ourselves to other women who we think have it all together? Why do we notice every little flaw but we never give credit to all the beauty we hold? Do we feel like being sexually satisfied makes us dirty and whorish? Was our first sexual experience one that was damaging and hurtful or painful and confusing? These questions and answers can allow us to open up and shift many of our sexual blocks. If we are not sexually satisfied then we will always feel a disconnect with the world and we will absolutely feel disconnected from our spouse. When we have feelings of sexual dissatisfaction we will create more feelings of dissatisfaction and we will slowly allow ourselves to feel miserable inside our marriage and then our marriage will fall apart. Sex is extremely important to both a man and a woman. Men and women both love sex. Sex is a beautiful way to share ourselves with the one we truly love while receiving immense pleasure. Sex releases hormones that reduce stress. Sex brings happiness into our lives and allows us to connect on a very deep level. Sex is absolutely amazing. Sex is also super painful and filled with hardship and sadness as it activates our core beliefs about ourselves. What better way to know how we truly feel about ourselves then to get completely naked and allow yourself to be entered or be the one entering someone. This is a fool proof way to know if the core belief that is programmed inside us is a healthy one or if it is very damaging. Sex for most women is something that is very emotionally painful. This feeling is coming up because a core belief is being activated about ourselves that is not true and sex is allowing us to recognize it, feel it, and then release it as it no longer is a belief we want to have. Beliefs are just that...beliefs. We can choose to change them at any time. We will have to put some effort into shifting our sexual beliefs but I promise this journey is a journey that will pay off in so many ways. We will feel happier, healthier and whole. We will have feelings of deep love and pure gratification. The journey to awaken the sexual energy and feel it in a loving and peaceful way is a journey that is worth every step. Awaken to your divine right to be sexually satisfied. Open yourself up to the light and know that we all deserve this energetic sexual connection with ourselves and our spouse. Decide today to take the road less traveled and thou you will have many ups and many downs you will end up at the destination of pure joy and pure sexual energy. The place that allows us to feel the vibration of sexual energy. This is an amazing place and this place will allow our marriage to lock into a deeper connection that will be cemented in butterfly feelings. These feelings will be happening in our vaginal area and when we get butterfly feelings in our vagina how could we not be happy! Start your journey today! You deserve it! Your spouse deserves it! Your marriage deserves it! Reach out to me as I do one on one coaching sessions with emotional release sessions as well as guiding you on your journey to sexual freedom and sexual happiness! I love assisting individuals in releasing the core beliefs that keeps them from receiving pleasure and from fully showing up in their marriage. Marriages are the one relationship that can awaken us to all our core beliefs and when we are aware of these beliefs we can shift them to healthier beliefs and love our spouse more instead of blaming them and running. Artist: Samarel www.samarelart.com Sex requires effort. I should say GREAT SEX requires effort. When I was a teenager I would watch these romantic movies. The ones that are filled with drama. The hate, the betrayal, the hurt, the lost love, the hot and heavy passion. The type of passion that was fueled by negative emotions. Sex is not a negative emotion. Sex is a positive emotion. Yes I am using the word emotion as sex always comes from emotion. When is the last time you had sex with zero emotion? It never happens. We either feel positive emotions or negative emotions. One feels good and one feels bad. We want sex to be filled with positive emotion. This requires effort. Think about this for a moment. When we want to learn to cook what do we do? We get some cook books, watch some youtube videos, look up some recipes’ and then we try different variations of meals. Which ones are good, which ones are okay and which ones are down right awful. Well this is the same with sex. When we want great sex we should get some books, watch some youtube videos( haha) and try different recipes'. Some of these recipes' will be Good, some will be okay and others will be a recipes' you never want to use again. Sex is so much fun when we let our guard down and allow ourselves to be pleasured and experience creativity. The bedroom is the married couples playground. This is the place where you can express your fun side, your serious side, your erotic side as well as your soulful side.
Commit to experiment in the bedroom. Here are 5 exciting things to try in the bedroom over the next few weeks. I feel sex should be experienced at least 3 times a week. I know it may sound like a lot but if you are not committed to being sexual on a regular basis you will fall into the ROOM MATE category and this can become the reality of the relationship. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN. It seems to me the longer you go without having sex the easier and easier it becomes to live without it. I also have found the opposite to be true. The more you have sex on a regular basis the more sex you will continue to have because it creates a bond that you will cherish and long for. Here are some examples of different things you can try. 1. Put on some soulful music, light an incent, put on some dim lighting and commit to making out for at least 10 minutes with your clothes on. ( Remember this when you were dating) so much fun! 2. Get some sexy food. Whip cream and chocolate syrup are always good ones. Ice cream is good as well but it is sooooo cold. Have some fun with one another. You can put these things on your own body and surprise your spouse or co create. 3. Tie your man up. Some times men are so quick to be touching, rubbing and wanting to get to the vagina as soon as possible. Take his touch away from him in a sexy sensual way. Tie his hands to the bedpost or to anything that makes it so you can caress his body and drive him mad. You will love this. I personally love the moments in the bedroom where I have complete control 4. The vagina longs to be primed for the penis to enter. Commit to having your husband work with you to get you so excited and so ready that you are begging for him to thrust his penis into you. This usually takes about 15-30 minutes or it can take 5-10 minutes, Depending on how the woman feels and the connection she is feeling with her vagina and her man. When your energy is so explosive and you are ready to be entered you will be amazed with erotic sensations. You can also do this yourself through out the day. I personally love looking at erotic art, I love thinking about sexy things, I love picturing how I am going to drive my husband wild. These things get my sexual energy flowing. 5. Watch an erotic movie. I am not talking about porn. I am talking about a movie with a story line that involves sex. I love the movie 9 1/2 weeks. I really enjoyed the movie, Room in Rome( this is about a girl on girl encounter) with a story line and emotion...very erotic. As a woman I really enjoy movies or series where there is an emotional tie between the lovers. Something that is palpable. I personally can feel turned on when I see an actor and an actress kiss because of the emotional story I can deeply feel. This is why porn is more challenging for me to enjoy. The emotion is not there. We see so many images that take us out of our sexual energy. Find a passionate movie and watch it together. You will either feel extremely turned on and into your sexual self or you will have a lot of emotion come up. This is super healing. Discuss how you feel if emotion is coming up and see if you can release it and move through it. Boredom in the bedroom is a sure way to feel disconnected. We all have that inner sexual diva that wants to try wild things and express our sexual self in an open and confident way. When is the last time you have done something new, exciting, different and out of the box? When is the last time you have sat down and had a conscious thought about your sexual plans for the night, weekend or a special occasion. Sex is something that can become boring unless you are putting constant thought into your sexual wants, desires and cravings. I am not saying that you have to be thinking about sex every minute of every day but sexual thought will assist you in creating sexual expressions that awaken both you and your man. If you are waiting for your man to plan all these wonderful ways to express his sexual wants and desires for you in a creative way...you may be waiting a long time. Men love sex and thou some men are very creative they may not be super creative in the bedroom! Sexual expression is something we deserve to get very comfortable with. Sexual expression creates excitement back into the bedroom. After 15 years with my hubby I can still get butterflies in my belly when I have planned something a little wild and out of my sexual comfort box! I myself hate to be bored and anything can become boring when it is the same thing night after night. Here are a few ideas of how you can create some sexual spontaneity in and out of the bedroom!
1. Dress up...Find a sexy piece of club wear and put together a sexy candle light dinner for you and your man. Get your hair done, put on flattering make up, shave your legs, lotion your body, and then slip into that sexy little number that you have personal picked out. Make sure it is a piece you feel erotic in. Don't pick a piece that makes you feel self conscious. Pick a piece that you feel sexy in but also will make your man feel like you are wearing it for his viewing pleasure. Then play the part ladies. I love this. I love playing the part of a woman who so badly wants her man to notice every inch of her curvious body. Act like you just landed the lead role in Basic Instinct and seductively seduce your man! 2. Dance...Every man wants a private erotic strip tease for his own viewing pleasure and it is even more enticing when he knows he gets to fuck you at the end of this amazing show. Be seductive, move slowly and allow your hands to move all over your body in the way you would want your lovers hands to move all over your body. Close your eyes and allow your inner dancing vixen to be explored. You will feel empowered and your man will feel excited. 3. Take pictures...With the invention of digital cameras this can be a super fun one with no risk. Most cameras have self timers on them so you can take all the sensual pictures you want and then allow your man the opportunity to see you expressing your sexiness. I love this one. I feel a little uncomfortable with my husband taking the pictures but with the ability to put my camera on a tripod and take all the pictures I want with no one else in the room is truly liberating. You will find a part of yourself that says " DAMN...I am super hot"! Keep the pictures you want and erase the ones that you don't. Then surprise him with a slideshow or just let him scan through the pictures on the camera, then when the evening is over...hit the delete button and the evidence has vanished! What a beautiful invention! Love the digital camera. You can also take pictures of each other, this is a fun way to connect and create an intimate moment...warning there can be laughter involved when taking pictures together but in a good way not an embarrassing way! There are so many things you can do but make sure you are doing something new on a regular basis! This will keep the excitement alive and also awaken your own sexual diva. Woman love sex but we are super creative creatures as well so what is more perfect then creating new ways to express our sexuality! Do something new in the next 5 days! I believe that women experience extreme duality when it comes to sex. I call this the classic battle of Good vs. Evil. Right vs. Wrong. Light vs. Dark. Wholesome vs. Slutty. I believe that most women feel as thou they have to classify themselves into a sexual category. This feeling of being in the " RIGHT" and " APPROVED" of category can completely shut down the sexy, fun, excited, wild, hot and expressive girl inside. She feels as thou she is not accepted for what she brings to the table so she hides in the corner not willing to break free from her cage. She expresses herself with anger, rage, sadness, depression and eating herself into numbness. I am going to identify this personality inside and call her " Slutty Sally".
Slutty Sally is inside each and everyone of us girls. She longs to be expressed and she longs to be acknowledged. Slutty Sally wants to be part of our whole self. She brings excitement, creativity, and sensuality. She awakens our sexual essence. Slutty Sally has the ability to make us feel alive. She can allow us to express our sexual wants and desires. She will open us up so we can feel , connect and express our truest diva self. Slutty Sally is here for a reason. She brings us into our beauty of embracing our sexual self. Slutty Sally is super fun. She is extremely open. She loves to receive and give pleasure. Slutty Sally loves to share her essence with her man. Slutty Sally loves to make her man crave her, long for her, devour her. She knows what she wants and she is not afraid to create sexual dynamite. Slutty Sally is confident in the bedroom. She wears exciting attire and seduces her man and herself in the most sensual of ways. Slutty Sally is a sexual woman, she is not a little girl. She walks with her hips, she licks her lips, she caresses her body and she demands her mans attention. Slutty Sally wants to be approved of and accepted. She wants you to love her and know that she is part all of us. Slutty Sally is absolutely amazing and she will allow you to express your sexual self in the most beautiful of ways. Embrace her....Love her....Accept her. Allow her free from her cage so she can bring back that missing piece. As a woman I know that Slutty Sally is easy to disapprove of. She can feel wild and uncontrollable. She can make us feel ashamed and dirty. Slutty Sally can bring back many sexual memories that activate feelings of guilt, shame and resentment. Slutty Sally became an enemy. She became someone we feared. Slutty Sally could not be trusted. What other choice did we have...we shut her down. We put Slutty Sally in a cage to punish her for her crimes and uncontrollable urge for sexual satisfaction. We decided that Slutty Sally could only do us harm. Slutty Sally wants to be FREE. She is screaming at you to let her out. Slutty Sally will behave herself. The two of you can co create to awaken your sexual diva and allow your sexual essence to be felt and expressed. Allow Slutty Sally to merge with who you are. She is absolutely amazing and she deserves to be loved. Slutty Sally will bring you excitement, creativity, pleasure, laughter, sexiness and you will become the seducer. Slutty Sally will awaken your senses and activate your sexual glow! LET HER OUT! ALLOW HER TO CO CREATE WITH YOU!LOVE HER! APPROVE OF HER! ACCEPT HER! Sex is an express of love, passion, pleasure and playfulness. Sex is amazing and can be absolutely liberating...when we allow it to be. We live in a society where there is so much duality when it comes to expressing ourselves in a sexual way. One of the first words I think of when the word sex is mentioned is ...judgment!
There is so much judgment attached to everything in the world but when it comes to sex there is a MASSIVE amounts of judgment and confusion. We see things in a black or white. Right or wrong. Good or bad. Sinner or Saint. WOW...when we think about our sexual self what are words that come up for you? When you see the word SEX what is the first thought or word that comes to your mind? Do not label this thought or word. Just feel it and then release it. Sex is a deep subject and most of us took the course with so many opinions, to much judgment and not enough sexual acceptance. While blossoming sexually we received many different downloads. We heard so many messages, we witnessed others reactions to sexual material. We were pulled this way and pushed that way and most of us have ended up very sexually confused. We heard messages such as
There are so many more examples but this is just a few to get you to become aware of all the messages you received while discovering who you were sexually. Just because a girl is comfortable with expressing her sexuality does not mean she is a slut. Just because a man expresses his desire to discover all the pleasures of his sexual self does not mean he is a pig. We are sexual beings. Women have a part on their body for one purpose and one purpose only. Sexual pleasure. The clitoris is not needed to procreate. The clitoris is not requires for childbirth. The clitoris is not used for urination. The clitoris is for sexual pleasure and sexual pleasure only! WOW...We were created with this amazing sexual tool and with the right tender loving care the clitoris is a mechanism for orgasmic pleasure. This is so amazing. So when you feel like you should not enjoy sex, remember God gave you a specific gift. The gift of the clitoris. We as women are designed with a little hood on the top of our vagina for orgasmic pleasure! WOW...just said a silent prayer thanking God for this gift! Do not judge yourself when it comes to who you are sexually. Sexuality is a beautiful thing and deserve no judgment. Just allowance! Allow yourself to be who you are when it comes to sex. If you want to be reserved and a little shy! Then that is perfect. If you want to be wild and crazy! Then that is perfect. If you want to discover all the wonders of your sexual self! Then this is perfect. If you want to be embarrassed sexually. Then that is perfect. NOTICE...I used the word want. These are all choices we get to create. I personally created a decision to get very comfortable with my sexual self and I felt called to share my message and mission with the world. I want to have an amazing sex life with my husband. My husband loves sex. He is sexually driven, as most men are, and the greatest gift I can give him and the greatest gift I can give myself is for me to love sex as well. It is a constant focus in my marriage. Here is 3 tips to take the judgment out of sex. 1. Next time you see something sexual notice what comes up for you. Don't judge it , just notice it. 2. When you see someone wearing something seductive choose to be positive and see the beauty in the sexual expression. 3. When you hear something sexual notice what comes up for you. Don't judge it, just notice it. Thank you so much for reading my blog. I am going to start doing video blogs as well. Lights..Camera...Action! If I took a poll surveying 100 women , asking the question " Do you have an orgasm effortlessly during sexual intercourse on a regular basis?" Most women would probably say No. Once in a while , being in the perfect position, with the correct rhythm and every sense on high alert an orgasm can happen effortlessly for a woman but the majority of the time...effort is required. When women are feeling frustrated sexually, I am sure that most of this frustration is coming from the lack of having orgasmic sex on a regular basis. Sex in itself is beautiful and very fulfilling. There are times that I have sex and feel completely satisfied without reaching my orgasmic state. I love being passionate with my husband and I love sharing myself with him in the most sensual and seductive ways. BUT I find myself very sexually frustrated if I stay in this space to long. Being a woman, with three kids, there are times that I please my husband really quickly in the bathroom, say while he is brushing his teeth. I enjoy this erotic moment and I am perfectly content making sure he is sexually satisfied and I love to throw the power of surprise into my marriage. But if I don't take the time to make sure that I am creating space in my sexual relationship with my husband to reach orgasm then sex becomes something that is enjoyable but it is like eating a bowl of ice cream without a spoon. The spoon helps you thoroughly enjoy every bite of the ice cream. Orgasm is a release for woman as well as men. We have all heard men state that they feel a pressure release inside themselves when they reach orgasm. Women have this some sexual tension built up inside of them but most women don't want to be honest with their man when it comes to sex and orgasm. I am telling you right now girls if you are not reaching an orgasmic state at least 50% of the time that you have sex then sex will become something that you no longer enjoy. An orgasm is so powerful and so intense that to me, it feels like it awakens every single cell in my body. It puts me in a space of complete serenity and I feel so blessed to have a husband that takes the time to make sure I have an orgasm no matter how long it takes and no matter what he has to do. My husband knows the power of a wifely orgasm. Sex is AMAZING....and sex with orgasm is even more amazing. So if you have been to shy to tell your husband that your are not reaching an orgasmic state on a consistent basis then now is the time. I promise you, it may be a blow to his ego and it for sure will be if you have been faking orgasm and he thinks that he is a sex stud but it will be so worth it in the long run. Get comfortable asking for pleasure. Most women achieve orgasm via clitoris stimulation. Make sure that the clitoris is part of your sexual voyage and you will both be singing in orgasmic tones. Orgasms are for men and women. Women deserve to have orgasm just as much as men do. I feel lighter on my feet, happier in my heart and a peace in my soul when I have experienced the pleasure of an orgasm. Orgasm in an amazing thing for both parties. I just want to remind men and women that the female orgasm is just as much part of the bedroom as the male orgasm! Commit to making sure each one of you is satisfied in the most orgasmic of ways! It will strengthen your marriage! I promise! 1-How do you feel about yourself? 2- How do you feel about your body? 3-How do you feel about your sexual energy? 4-How do you feel about your sexual beliefs? 5-How do you feel about receiving love? 6-How do you feel about giving love? 7-How do you feel about your past sexual experiences? 8-How do you feel about your current sexual experiences? 9-How do you feel about your willingness to be vulnerable? 10-How do you feel about men? How do you feel about women? 11-How do you feel about receiving pleasure? I could go on and on with amazing questions that will provide valuable insight when it comes to expressing ourselves sexually. These are amazing questions that deserve to be answered with intense emotion and deep feeling. The answers to these questions will awaken us to the belief systems that we have in place and the perceptions that keep us trapped. When it comes to expressing ourselves in a sexual way we deserve to know ourselves on a deeper level. We deserve to know our deepest fears. We deserve to know our greatest pleasures. We deserve to understand the workings of our mind, body and soul. We deserve to open up to the universe and release all the beliefs that are causing a block when it comes to one of the greatest gifts God gave us, and that is the gift of sexual pleasure. When we take the time to answer the 11 questions above we will find ourselves removing all the masks that we have placed one on top another to hide who we truly our. The masks that keep us trapped. The mask that keep us hidden. The mask that keep us bundled up with fear. Answering these 11 questions with depth and purity will allow our wings to expand and we will finally be able to embrace all that we are and all that we long to be. We are sexual beings. When we adopt beliefs, thoughts and perceptions that are not in alignment with our truest and highest self we feel conflicted. When we feel conflicted we block off emotions. We can not pick and choose the emotions we want to shut off. So when we block off emotions we block them all. We shut them all down. This is when we become numb and sex turns into something that we have to do instead of get to do. Take time and answer these questions. Dig deep. Be true. Open up. Release the lies. Most of the thoughts, beliefs and perceptions we have about our sexual self do not even come from us. We have heard statements. We have seen images. We consume media. We read articles. We create an alter ego of our sexual self. Decide today to release your sexual ego. When we take steps to become authentic in our sexual wants, desires, beliefs and expressions then we open up to who we truly are at a deep level. To be comfortable inside our sexual energy is absolutely amazing and extremely liberating. This process of releasing will cause pain and sadness. It will create emotional highs and lows. It will feel exciting and terrifying at the same time. When we go deep within our emotional body we will experience happiness and sorrow. STOP running from this. STOP running from your emotions. STAY...BREATH...DIG DEEP and find the root cause . We are emotional beings and the emotions we have about our sexual self will allow us to experience intense pleasure or the emotions we have about our sexual self will allow us to feel utterly disconnected and extremely frustrated. Start doing internal work today to create the emotional shifts that will allow you to experience your sexual self in the most spiritual uplifting way. Tapping into your sexual energy does create a whirlwind of intense emotion. Feel this emotion. Breath this emotion. Move with this emotion and then move through this emotion. Allow yourself to receive all that comes to you when you are healing the sexual soul. Don't fight it. It won't be easy and it can activate masked pain but I promise you that when you choose to heal the sexual soul you choose to know yourself deeper, purer and more authentic then you ever expected. Reach out to me if you are interested in coaching with me or scheduling an emotional release session. This is extremely healing and will assist with your sexual awakening. FREE 15 minute phone consultation. Do you ever feel like your sexual side has went into hiding and is so scared and frightened that it will lie dormant for the rest of your life? I am not talking about just having sex. Sex is a very intimate action but if you don't feel comfortable and confident being sexual then sex itself will feel just okay! No one and I mean no one wants to have just okay sex! We want to focus on getting very comfortable with our sexuality and then getting even more comfortable expressing this side of ourselves. With all the daily tasks that a woman can take on, her sexuality may be the first thing that she sets aside. As women we are bright, creative, loving and yes sexual beings. We are this bright light and when we get so many things burning all at once the sexual self seems like the logical thing to shut off but its not! I have been in a place with young kids, working full time, being a mother at night and then wanting so badly to connect in a positive, healthy, fun loving way with my husband but unable to. I had lost my sexual self. I had placed her in a box and put her in the very back of the closet. My husband was so sweet and supportive but he to was dying inside. Men want appreciation, acceptance, understanding, and SEX. Men want the other emotions that women want. They want to feel approval from their spouse that they are good enough. Men want to feel appreciation for taking care of all the things men take care of. Men want to be understood and loved and men truly desire for their woman to want them sexually.
Dig that box out from the back of the closet and open her up. Your sexual self is one of the most exciting parts of who you are. You have decided to spend the rest of your life with this amazing man and both of you deserve to have an out of this world sexual connection. Creating this connection is so much fun and at times can also be painful( if you have attached shame, guilt, or have repressed emotions about sex) but even the pain deserve to be felt and then released. Remember when you and your hubby first started having an intimate relationship? I am not talking just about having sex I am talking about the little playful moments in your dating experience. Remember thinking about what you were going to wear, how your were going to do your hair, the excitement, the anticipation, the longing to be with one another. After years of marriage you can still create this emotion. It will no longer just come naturally as we can get into daily habits and this can take that spark out of our married relationship. Relax into your sexuality. Relax into being playful with your hubby. Enjoy your feminine energy! When we become playful we can create little moments that always make our husbands feel wanted, desired and longed for. Here are a few examples of ways to be playful throughout the day to create a sexual spark! 1. There is always a moment where your husband is looking your way and no one else is around...take a quick moment to flash him some part of your sexy body! You will for sure have his attention. 2. Kiss your husband in a seductive way. Go up behind him and kiss his neck, then slowly run your hand down his luscious body ending with the package he is so proud of. Give this a nice feel and smile at your hubby. He will feel like a stud for the rest of the day. 3. Get comfortable touching yourself. I am not talking about masturbating. I am talking about being able to caress yourself in a way that activates your husbands sexual desire. When your hubby looks over at you, slowly run your hand softly down your breast and look at him with lustful eyes. Or run your hand up your thigh and stop at the highest part of the inner thigh, maybe biting your lower lip a little. It's fun to be seductive. 4. Get comfortable with sexual postures. Remember when you would drop something and practice picking it up in an enticing way( Maybe you never did this... I did). If you did not do this then start. Bend over in a sexual way. Arch your back, stick out your chest and bend at the waist pushing your butt out as far as you can. Practice being seductive. The more you practice the more confident you will become in expressing your sexual being. Marriage is awesome. Awesomeness only happens with constant effort. Becoming comfortable with your sexual self is something you deserve! Check out the tab: Aromatherapy for romance. I am offering an amazing special for the month of July! Do you feel as thou you don't enjoy being sexual? Women can create beliefs about sex that make them feel shameful and guilty when it comes to receiving sexual pleasure. Most of our sexual beliefs get created when we are growing up and exploring our sexual self. Most often, women do not receive positive messages when it comes to their sexuality. Women are usually receiving many downloads of negativity and shame. So my first question would be... 1~What are the beliefs you have about sex and are they helping you or hindering you? Many times girls hear things such as
This is just a few things that we could have heard that does damage if we adopt the belief and hold tightly to it. 2~Do you feel comfortable touching your own body? I am not talking masturbation, I am talking about just touching your body. Rubbing your hand down your leg, or softly caressing your neck and shoulder. If you are not comfortable touching yourself then you are not going to be comfortable with anyone else touching you . Take some time and love yourself and your body. Small, gentle caresses will assist you in feeling sexier as well as learning to love your body and the sensations it is receiving. Women usually have some type of body complex and this can create a situation where being touched, naked or sexual are uncomfortable and take us out of our comfort zone. 3~What is your sexual dialogue? As a couple can you sit and talk about sex? Some people may be uncomfortable talking about sex with their spouse and this comes from a place of shame and guilt. Open and honest conversations about sex are some of the greatest conversations that my hubby and I have had. At times I would giggle and maybe even blush but after a few times I felt more and more like sharing my sexual wants, desires and thoughts. Sex is not a shameful thing but for women it can be because they were taught this as young girls. Try talking about something sexual in your relationship. If talking is to hard at first then get a note pad and write notes back and forth, like you and your friends did in high school. Take small steps to become more open sexually. 4~Now my next question is for the men...Are you taking time to get her sexually excited? Women are not cold one second and extremely hot the next...like men are, when it comes to sex. Men can compartmentalize sex...Most women can't . Women are emotional about sex and sex does not mean only paying attention to their boobs, butt and their vagina. There are many other sexual parts of a women. The slope of her neck, the curve of her back, her swiveling hips, her amazing thighs and her luscious lips. Pay attention to these areas leaving the boobs, butt and vagina until the very last. She is a buffet and her body should be the main course not just her specialized dishes. Treat her vagina like it is the biggest Christmas gift under the tree...you know the one you always save for last, knowing that it is the best. Her vagina is not going anywhere and the more you kiss, touch and caress her the more her vagina will be calling your name. Women want to have orgasms and if they are not then sex can be not that appealing. Being sexual is amazing without orgasm but if every time you go to sit down at the dinner table and the places are set, the smell is delicious, the ambiance is perfect but there is no dinner served then you would feel disappointed and upset. Orgasm is important and most women don't orgasm the second the penis enters her. There are tricks and perfect positions, or you may have to manually stimulate her to climax. There is nothing wrong with that. The more she orgasms the more she will want sex and be happy to have it with you. Sex is something that takes effort. Get educated, explore one another, excite each other, express your wants, thoughts and desires and empower your sexual selves. This takes time, effort, energy and there can be no judgment. I promise you will be so grateful when you have the sexual connection that you deserve to have in your marriage! |
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