5 ways to create heat in the bedroom!

Sex requires effort. I should say GREAT SEX requires effort. When I was a teenager I would watch these romantic movies. The ones that are filled with drama. The hate, the betrayal, the hurt, the lost love, the hot and heavy passion. The type of passion that was fueled by negative emotions. Sex is not a negative emotion. Sex is a positive emotion. Yes I am using the word emotion as sex always comes from emotion. When is the last time you had sex with zero emotion? It never happens. We either feel positive emotions or negative emotions. One feels good and one feels bad. We want sex to be filled with positive emotion. This requires effort. Think about this for a moment. When we want to learn to cook what do we do? We get some cook books, watch some youtube videos, look up some recipes’  and then we try different variations of meals. Which ones are good, which ones are okay and which ones are down right awful. Well this is the same with sex. When we want great sex we should get some books, watch some youtube videos( haha)  and try different recipes'. Some of these recipes' will be Good, some will be okay and others will be a recipes' you never want to use again. Sex is so much fun when we let our guard down and allow ourselves to be pleasured and experience creativity. The bedroom is the married couples playground. This is the place where you can express your fun side, your serious side, your erotic side as well as your soulful side.

Commit to experiment in the bedroom. Here are 5 exciting things to try in the bedroom over the next few weeks. I feel sex should be experienced at least 3 times a week. I know it may sound like a lot but if you are not committed to being sexual on a regular basis you will fall into the ROOM MATE category and this can become the reality of the relationship. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN. It seems to me the longer you go without having sex the easier and easier it becomes to live without it. I  also have found the opposite to be true. The more you have sex on a regular basis the more sex you will continue to have because it creates a bond that you will cherish and long for.

Here are some examples of different things you can try.

1. Put on some soulful music, light an incent, put on some dim lighting and commit to making out for at least 10 minutes with your clothes on. ( Remember this when you were dating) so much fun!

2. Get some sexy food. Whip cream and chocolate syrup are always good ones. Ice cream is good as well but it is sooooo cold. Have some fun with one another. You can put these things on your own body and surprise your spouse or co create.

3. Tie your man up. Some times men are so quick to be touching, rubbing and wanting to get to the vagina as soon as possible. Take his touch away from him in a sexy sensual way. Tie his hands to the bedpost or to anything that makes it so you can caress his body and drive him mad. You will love this. I personally love the moments in the bedroom where I have complete control

4. The vagina longs to be primed for the penis to enter. Commit to having your husband work with you to get you so excited and so ready that you are begging for him to thrust his penis into you. This usually takes about 15-30 minutes or it can take 5-10 minutes, Depending on how the woman feels and the connection she is feeling with her vagina and her man.  When your energy is so explosive and you are ready to be entered you will be amazed with erotic sensations.  You can also do this yourself through out the day. I personally love looking at erotic art, I love thinking about sexy things, I love picturing how I am going to drive my husband wild. These things get my sexual energy flowing.

5. Watch an erotic movie. I am not talking about porn. I am talking about a movie with a story line that involves sex. I love the movie 9 1/2 weeks. I really enjoyed the movie, Room in Rome( this is about a girl on girl encounter) with a story line and emotion...very erotic. As a woman I really enjoy movies or series where there is an emotional tie between the lovers. Something that is palpable. I personally can feel turned on when I see an actor and an actress kiss because of the emotional story I can deeply feel. This is why porn is more challenging for me to enjoy. The emotion is not there.  We see so many images that take us out of our sexual energy. Find a passionate movie and watch it together. You will either feel extremely turned on and into your sexual self or you will have a lot of emotion come up. This is super healing. Discuss how you feel if emotion is coming up and see if you can release it and move through it.