 What is the first thought that pops into your head when you hear the words Oral Sex? Is it a thought of openness and comfort? Is the thought of oral sex something you run from? How do you feel when you think about the act of performing oral sex? These are all very personal questions and oral sex is a very personal decision. I know some are taught that oral sex should never be experienced...usually by their religion, parents or someone they trust. Some feel like oral sex is dirty and disgusting. Some feel very uncomfortable venturing into the world of oral sex because they feel like they are doing it wrong. Oral sex is absolutely amazing in my book but I did not always feel this way. I have always loved receiving oral pleasure...I just felt disconnect when I was the one giving oral pleasure. I always felt like I wasn't doing it right. I felt like I was average in this department of my sex life and I really wanted to be a shining star. A woman who knows how to please her man orally. So I started asking questions in the bedroom. How does this feel? Do you like it when I do that? I ask for my husband to guide and direct me so I can feel like I am performing in a way that is pleasing to him. After releasing my emotional attachments I had connected to performing oral sex I have really blossomed in the bedroom. I now know I can perform very sexually and sensually in the area of oral sex. I have released my thoughts of shame and guilt around this subject and replaced them with love and pleasure. I want to please my husband in a hot, sexy, sensual way. Now that I have gave my self permission to be open and connected to loving the experience of performing oral sex I feel content. I challenge you to take a moment or two and connect with your thoughts on this subject and then QUESTION THEM. Do not just believe what you have heard, been told, or experienced a few times and then placed immediate judgment. Open up to yourself. Open up to the thought that things could be different in this area of your sex life. When you truly love and trust your spouse oral sex can be beautiful, intense and full of pleasure. I am so glad that I questioned my thoughts on this subject. With work and applied effort I feel very connected to my husband and I know that I can please him in a way that is very erotic and very sensual and feel wonderful doing it.
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 Belief 5...Good girls don't do that We live in a society that we are taught that girls are either Good or Bad. We are in one category or the other and usually we wanted to be bad just to make our parents angry. I feel as most girls wanted to be considered good. They tried very hard to make the right decision and to wear the proper clothing...nothing to risqué or revealing. We are taught that we do not want to send the wrong message and by acting, looking and dressing properly we will be placed in the good girl category. Here is one problem that gets created in this moment of good girl vs. bad girl. Do good girls have great, uninhibited sex when they are married...probably not. The belief is still embedded in our brain that Good girls would not behave in this way. I am a good girl so the only way we can have sex is this one way so that I can continue to hold onto this belief that I am good. Good girls are usually very confused in the bedroom because sex feel good but the good girl has been conditioned that sex is naughty and the only girls that did those kind of things to a boy are girls that are considered troubled. Girls that were sexually promiscuous had many issues and she was just using her body to get what she wanted from a boy or man. So here lies the underlining issue. If we have a belief that Bad girls use sex to get what they want from a man and good girl have sex just to be a good wife then we will always feel so confused and part of us will always wish that we are on the bad side of the fence. Well here is an announcement...YOU ARE MARRIED NOW AND HAVE PERMISSION TO BE AS BAD AS YOU WANT IN THE BEDROOM~ Now is the time that you can act out all those wild fantasies that you have and had being a good girl. Good girls can have great sex. The kind of sex that you lose yourself in one another, your bodies become one and your sense of smell, taste and touch are heightened so that you can truly enjoy the sensations from each other. If you have felt as sex has to be un enjoyable and that you are having sex just to please your husband and be a good wife then you are missing out on so much pleasure in your marriage. As women we have a sex drive and sexual thoughts and fantasies just like men we just hide it better. Start enjoying the sexual woman that you are. You have the right to connect to your sexual self and to your husband so that you both can experience a connection that God wants us to experience. When we are sexually dissatisfied then tension, problems and faults are always the things that are being focused on in marriage. We focus on the bills, the kids, the dog, our religious groups and we place our sexual connection to our spouse on the back burner. We tell ourselves that it can wait and sex is not that important now. I am here to tell you that you are absolutely mistaken. Sex will strengthen your bond as a man and wife. Sex will create love, passion, communication, acceptance, truth and honesty. Sex is the foundation of a marriage as now you have one person that you can sexually bond with for the rest of your life. Sex should be something that you focus on as much as you focus on creating an income. Sex is life sustaining in a marriage...so let your bad girl out of her cage, Good girls as now you have legal permission to get wild, crazy and experience pure sexual pleasure. |
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