It was 9:00pm and I was getting ready for bed. After brushing my teeth , putting my pajamas on and watching the last 10 minutes of Full house, I laid myself down for some comfortable and cozy sleep . I am 11 years old and the year was 1988. After an hour passes I finally fall asleep. I wasn't sleeping well at this age so I woke up about 10:30pm and went to the bathroom. While I was walking to the bathroom I heard strange noises. Scary noises. Painful noises. Noises that would have made anyone stop in their tracks. These noises were coming from my parents room. I was just a girl I had no idea that these noises were noises of pleasure. I have heard there is a fine line between love and hate. I know now that there also is a fine line between pleasure and pain. The next morning things went as they normally do but my mind was racing. Of course at 11 I figured out that my parents were having sex but in that precious moment at 10:30pm the night before , a belief was created. This belief was " Sex is painful and scary". In that brief moment my belief created a story that I carried around for the next 20 years. I believed that sex should be something that created pain and maybe a bit of pleasure. My pleasure center shut down and this belief took over. I feed this belief like a hungry bear. I became addicted to seeing images of women being dominated. I created scenes in my brain of a man or many men wanting me so bad sexually that they would force me to please them. These things were not what I wanted in real like but I created an attachment to this belief and the only way I could orgasm was to think of something sexually demeaning.
This belief was created by my little girl self. She heard something scary and connected the dots. This was all wrong. Sex is not scary. Sex is not painful, well unless you want it to be! Sex is not a woman pleasing her man no matter what he wants and no matter how he treats her. Every woman and every man deserves to experience sex is the most amazing way. Sex is an expression of love. Sex is an expression of connection. Sex is an expression of being vulnerable. Sex is an expression of sharing the most deepest and naked parts of ourselves. This is beautiful . This is amazing. Sex is the way we can give pleasure and the way we can receive pleasure.
We deserve to look at where we created our own personal sexual beliefs and then release the ones that are not true. In marriage sex is one of the greatest of gifts. True intimacy and a cosmic bond is a must to have a successful and flourishing relationship. I know that sex is not everything in a marriage but it should be something that we are always working on. Sex is God's gift to us. We get to have and experience such intense pleasure. Don't shut it off. Don't allow a belief to hold you hostage in the bedroom. You deserve love. You deserve pleasure. You deserve amazing sex and that begins with the beliefs we hold. Decide today to create empowering beliefs when it comes to sex. Release any attachments to the word sex that are not true for you. Sex is what we create it to be. We must create a master piece. We will have to walk through the emotional pain and shift and release some beliefs and experiences but on the other side of the fire is pure openness, lovingness, kindness and sexual satisfaction. Challenge your sexual beliefs and create new ones today!
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