When it comes to sex you have to decide that you want emotion to be involved. Emotion is so powerful some of us turn it off subconsciously so we will not get hurt. Sex without emotion can be fun and enjoyable BUT if you want that deep sexual connection with your spouse then emotion is a must. Take a moment and ask yourself a few questions to find out if you have turned that emotional connection off.
Do you want to be sexual only afterward you feel empty and unfullfilled?
Do you feel like you are not fully present during sex?
Do You long for that deep, centered connection with your spouse but never fill
like you can achieve it?
If you answered yes to any of these questions then you
may have shut yourself down emotionally. There are many reasons we do this. We
may have had past sexual trauma that have happened to us. We may feel
uncomfortable with our bodies so our focus is physical instead of emotional. We
may feel disconnected performing the act of sex, a feeling of doing something
wrong so we shut down. Sex will never be what we want it to be until we open up emotionally. I personally have experienced all of the above. I have had to go through a process and I am continually going through a process to feel more emotionally connected during sex. Here are a few steps I have personally taken to assist me in breaking down the wall I built that I placed around emotion and sex.
When I feel emotional during sex I express that emotion. You will want
to tell your partner before hand that this may happen. When I felt angry, I
expressed it during the act of sex. When I felt happy, I laughed during sex.
When I felt sad, I cried having sex. When I felt playful, I wrestled around
with my husband while making love. This is very healing for you and your
spouse. Sex is great therapy if you are open and honest.
Focus on your spouse. If you have a hard time being touched and caressed, then
focus on your spouse. Touch him slowly and gently. Enjoy his beautiful body.
Kiss him all over. Tease and please him. This will take the focus off of you
and will assist you in breaking through.
Tell your husband that you do not want to have an orgasm. You want to enjoy being
sexual without the pressure of the end result...Orgasm. You will find
yourself being able to relax into sex and may orgasm without effort.
Release past traumas. Do this by talking to someone. Or write a letter and burn
it, releasing it into the air. Or verbally communicate your feelings out
loud to yourself and forgive the trauma for happening. Find a healthy way to
release and move through sexual trauma. You deserve to be in a place that
emotion can be attached to sex.
Be open, honest and real with your spouse. If direct
communication is to difficult at first then write a letter and have your spouse
read it. Sex is beautiful and even when the sexual emotion has been
damaged...all damage can be healed. Push forward and upward and I promise your
sexual emotion and connection will get stronger and stronger. I have been
through a lot sexually and until I released my emotional blocks I always felt as thou I was missing something.I have now found what I was searching for.I am hear for anyone that wants assistance. Just email me ...Cameo@mbsglow.com
My name is Cameo .I have been married for 19 years and with my husband for 20.5 years. I know that the sexual connection in a marriage can create strength and happiness and I also know the lack of a sexual connection can leave you feeling empty and dissatisfied. Lets get real open and become sexually satisfied in our marriages!