When we are young children and we are discovering our bodies we may be touching parts that make our parents uncomfortable. So in this very moment of discovering our sexuality we are usually yelled at, condemned and made to feel like we are dirty and naughty. We then feel ashamed during this process of self
discovery and mixed messages are always flooding our minds in the bedroom.
Parents have very strong feeling about sex. When parents are so hush,hush
and so ashamed of their sexual selves then their children experience the same
conflict of emotions. We experience feeling like sex is good and dirty at
the same time. We experience satisfaction with a side dish of shame and guilt.
The feeling of shame, guilt, anger and dissatisfaction is not what the
bedroom should produce. We should feel excited, passionate, desired,
confident, secure and most of all 100% loved and accepted. We get to spend
some time looking inward and finding the beliefs that were taught to us in
childhood and release the ones that are not serving our marriage. I know
that our parents did their best with the knowledge and experiences they had
at that time in their life but they are going off of their life experiences
and you have different experiences.
My Mother experienced childhood abuse and sexual trauma. She was just teaching
me how she felt...she wanted to protect me. She loved me and knew that sex in
her world was mostly accompanied by emotional hurt and feelings of sadness and
sorrow. I love my Mother. I am so glad that I have the ability to share my
beliefs and thoughts with her and she is open and more secure then she ever was
in my childhood. So I challenge you to take a deep look at where your sexual
beliefs came from and if you want to keep this belief any longer. When we have
sexual feelings that follow lovemaking and those feelings are dirty,
shameful, naughty and create a feeling of sadness then sex will be
something that tears your relationship apart.
We get to shift our perception. Sex is an act of service, acceptance, vulnerability,
playfulness, togetherness, and a passionthat only a husband and wife can
share. Sex in its purest form is an energy exchange between a husband and
wife that can be one of the most amazing spiritual experiences that you
will ever achieve in your life. Sex is raw, beautiful, spectacular,
passionate and most of all sacred. Dig deep inside your
mind and soul and start throwing out all the sexual beliefs that are causing
more pain then they are pleasure. Start remembering the sexual being you are.
Release the pain, discomfort and embarrassment of sex and replace it with
pleasure, confidence and an utter excitement to create the passion and sexual
connection that you and your spouse deserve.