How to have a great marriage...Service is the key!

Before marriage there is a common ritual that
takes place, this ritual is a courtship of two souls. During this courtship the two egos engage in a peacock like display. Showing off the best feathers that each has to offer the other. Everything in this mode is easy and flows smoothly.
Even arguments are easily diffused by the intense emotion coursing through our
bodies and minds. This phase is the LUST phase. A euphoria is experienced like
no other euphoria in human existence. This  phase only last 6-24 months. After the Lust phase the SERVICE phase must come into play, or your marriage will be on shaky ground. So how do you serve your spouse?  Every relationship has a love account. This account is similar to a bank account, if you are constantly making deposits then the account gets bigger and stronger but if you are consistently making withdrawals then soon there is that shocking moment when you open your statement to find 0.01 is the balance.  The goal is to have an abundance of love so when rough times hit withdrawals can be made with little or no damage. 
Couples that get through anything do so because they have a full love
account. SERVICE, SERVICE, SERVICE. Many couples feel that the love has died in
their relationship but all that has changed is their perception of their spouse.
This perception is created as we become selfish and no longer serve one another.
Our perception turns to what our spouse doesn't have and what they are not
doing.  Love means loving the imperfections as much as we love the perfect part of our spouse. Marriage is a commitment to spend FOREVER. Gary Chapman states in his famous book " The 5 love languages" that there are 5 ways to express love and one of these ways speak
love to our spouse more then the other 4 ways. Most couples do not have the same
love language. The 5 languages are 

Words Of Affirmation

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Physicla Touch

We get to find out our spouses love language and speak it often.  You may be speaking the
wrong language. You may be speakingyour language to your spouse when they really need one of the others.
I am attaching his site so you can find out your love language, your
spouses and your children.  http://www.5lovelanguages.com
 
Divorce is not the answer. The truth is if you get divorce the percentage raises for your second marriage to end 60% chance and third marriage raises to 80% chance. The answer is to fight for your marriage. The answer is service. Love is a verb, love is not selfish, love is giving, love is service! When you learn how to serve in your marriage and continue to work at strengthening your bond then you will find that marriage is blissful, beautiful and secure. You are
stating that you will always love this person forever and a day. Serve your
spouse in their language and watch your marriage flourish!

Jeff Haag

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