It has been a crazy 7 weeks. Our lab that we have had for 5 years gave birth to 10 amazing puppies on March 10th. I have enjoyed every precious moment with these spunky little pups. They bring me so much joy. They create a feeling of pure happiness and I have received so much pleasure being fully present and breathing in every cherished moment. These puppies have also reminded me to love to the fullest. I have opened my heart knowing that on May 1st they will be departing my life and I will feel the pain of releasing them. If I didn't allow myself to love them to the fullest I would have missed all the delicious memories.
I share this with you because I know we can fall into the same space when it comes to our marriage. We can create a wall that we believe will keep us safe but all it does is create more pain and more distance. We must choose to show up fully inside our marriage for ourselves and for our spouse. Everyday we get to decide if we are going to water our marriage and allow it to expand or if we are going to starve it and feel the intense pain of hunger and sadness. Here are 5 things that we can focus on to bring more happiness, love and pleasure to ourselves and to our marriage.
1. Choose to see your marriage as the perfect relationship for your awakening!
We attract the perfect partner for our life experience. When our spouse is activating pain inside of us they are trying to get us to awaken to the fact that a belief we are holding onto is not a core belief that is serving our highest self. When our spouse activates pain inside of us don't run. Stay present. Ask yourself questions. Love yourself and your spouse for showing up in the most perfect space. You and your spouse are co creating a beautiful experience for realization of self. We can choose to run or we can choose to face the pain. Running creates more pain. Standing tall and becoming the enlightened being we are meant to be takes time, patience and a dedication to discovering every layer of ourselves and every layer of our lover. Commit to the process and feel deeply
2. Love the process of feeling everything!
We have been taught that feeling positive beautiful emotions is amazing and acceptable and feeling pain is hard and sad. Feeling pain is more of a challenge but pain allows us to really activate emotions that we have stored incredibly deep. When our marriage activates this pain we tend to lash out and bash our spouse. Lashing out is easier then going inside and feeling deep intense emotion. Decide today to no longer lash out. When we feel the fire in our belly and we want to blame our spouse first ask if we are projecting our feelings onto our spouse and then ask if this emotion that is being felt is from this moment or from your past experiences and it is being activated right now. We are emotional beings and we must feel everything. We must feel, express and then release these emotions that are no longer serving us. Commit to the process of feeling the emotions and embracing the journey. Emotions are meant to be expressed not suppressed!
3. Do something kind for yourself and for your spouse!
Do something that creates a feeling of self worth. When we are feeling happy and alive inside our own body then we automatically want to show up more for our spouse and share the love. Think of something that you use to love to do. Even if you are older commit to trying this thing that use to bring so much joy to your life. When we are feeling intense pleasure from an activity that we are choosing to take part in then this creates movement in the expression of who we are. When we are living our truth and expressing ourselves in a fun, relaxing, joyful way then we will automatically lift up our marriage. We will show happy and we will want to do things that creates happiness in our marriage as well.
4. Allow your heart , mind and vagina to become aligned!
One of the best things we can do for our marriage is open up to receiving pleasure in the bedroom. We receive pleasure when our vagina is connected to our heart and our mind is connected to our heart. I know that I can think myself to orgasm. No physical touch is even needed. This is because my sexual energy is clear and it attached to my heart energy. Sexual energy expands. Focus on loving the vagina for all the beauty she holds. Focus on feeling this beautiful energy raise through the belly and land inside the heart. See this sexual energy as expanding light. Know that you deserve to receive orgasmic pleasure and if you are not then it is just a clog in the energy flow and all that is needed is some removal of emotional debris.
5. Feel and express your emotions fully!
Find a healthy way to express your emotions to the fullest. Write in a journal and don't censor yourself. Write exactly how you are feeling. Write why you are feeling this way. Write what you are feeling. Then after you have expressed your emotions authentically then write how you would like to feel. Write how feeling this way is serving you. What have you learned from this emotion and this experience and then thank yourself for being able to feel this emotion and then shift this emotion to something that serves you and your mission in life. Emotions are amazing and they will demand to be felt. So find a healthy way to express them so you are not a ticking time bomb. Don't be afraid of any emotion. Stop labeling emotions are good or bad or right and wrong. Emotions are just a conversation between the body and the soul. Awaken your emotional intelligence it will serve you to your highest power.