It is Friday night. You have spent the day getting your hair done, have freshly painted fingernails and your skin is a smooth as you can ever remember it being. You have picked out a sexy black number to surprise the one that you so long to be with. You have a romantic candle light dinner and share a wonderful glass of wine sitting by the fireplace. You slowly move closer to one another. You reach out to softly caress and kiss him. He kisses you back. Then he takes those passionate kisses and starts focusing on only your boobs and your vagina. You are wishing the caresses and the kisses would last so much longer. If he only knew what you like in bed. If he only know that you longed for a passionate massage with little flirtatious touches. If he only knew that you love it when you rubs his hands up and down your luscious legs. If he only knew that you want to kiss every part of his body because it gives you so much pleasure to please him. If he only knew that you have a black leather number in the closet that you have been dying to wear for him but have not found the courage. If he only knew that you like sex when it is slow and soft or maybe you like it hard and rough. If he only knew all this he could be the lover of your dreams. WHY DOES HE NOT KNOW? As woman we have the right to complete sexual satisfaction. It is ok and completely safe to be open and share with your man what you like and what you would like more of. When he is kissing you and you are enjoying this passionate time ...tell him. Say something like " I love when you kiss me slowly and gently it makes me feel like you love every part of me". When you want your man to spend more time caressing and discovering your body...tell him. Say something like this " I love it when you spend time touching, kissing and exploring every inch of my body it makes me feel as thou you are wanting to please me in more ways then just orgasm". When you want a sensual massage...tell him. Say something like " I would love a sensual massage and you can not touch my boobs or vagina until 10 minutes has elapsed". Men want to be great lovers. Our man wants to please us in bed. Society has taught men that there is just the jack hammer method and that may be all they know. If you open up and share you may discover that your man is so eager to please you and as long as you share what you like and want more of with feminine power and DO NOT crush his EGO in the process then you will have a lover that is hand stamped and made personally for your pleasure. Sex is amazing and should be something that we are not afraid of. Sex is an adult playground. A playground that is safe to share your thoughts, feelings and inner most desires. Woman it is your God given right to be sexually satisfied. We women are the creators, what we focus on the whole world will focus on. When we are happy, sexual beings the whole world benefits.
0 Comments
Belief 5...Good girls don't do that We live in a society that we are taught that girls are either Good or Bad. We are in one category or the other and usually we wanted to be bad just to make our parents angry. I feel as most girls wanted to be considered good. They tried very hard to make the right decision and to wear the proper clothing...nothing to risqué or revealing. We are taught that we do not want to send the wrong message and by acting, looking and dressing properly we will be placed in the good girl category. Here is one problem that gets created in this moment of good girl vs. bad girl. Do good girls have great, uninhibited sex when they are married...probably not. The belief is still embedded in our brain that Good girls would not behave in this way. I am a good girl so the only way we can have sex is this one way so that I can continue to hold onto this belief that I am good. Good girls are usually very confused in the bedroom because sex feel good but the good girl has been conditioned that sex is naughty and the only girls that did those kind of things to a boy are girls that are considered troubled. Girls that were sexually promiscuous had many issues and she was just using her body to get what she wanted from a boy or man. So here lies the underlining issue. If we have a belief that Bad girls use sex to get what they want from a man and good girl have sex just to be a good wife then we will always feel so confused and part of us will always wish that we are on the bad side of the fence. Well here is an announcement...YOU ARE MARRIED NOW AND HAVE PERMISSION TO BE AS BAD AS YOU WANT IN THE BEDROOM~ Now is the time that you can act out all those wild fantasies that you have and had being a good girl. Good girls can have great sex. The kind of sex that you lose yourself in one another, your bodies become one and your sense of smell, taste and touch are heightened so that you can truly enjoy the sensations from each other. If you have felt as sex has to be un enjoyable and that you are having sex just to please your husband and be a good wife then you are missing out on so much pleasure in your marriage. As women we have a sex drive and sexual thoughts and fantasies just like men we just hide it better. Start enjoying the sexual woman that you are. You have the right to connect to your sexual self and to your husband so that you both can experience a connection that God wants us to experience. When we are sexually dissatisfied then tension, problems and faults are always the things that are being focused on in marriage. We focus on the bills, the kids, the dog, our religious groups and we place our sexual connection to our spouse on the back burner. We tell ourselves that it can wait and sex is not that important now. I am here to tell you that you are absolutely mistaken. Sex will strengthen your bond as a man and wife. Sex will create love, passion, communication, acceptance, truth and honesty. Sex is the foundation of a marriage as now you have one person that you can sexually bond with for the rest of your life. Sex should be something that you focus on as much as you focus on creating an income. Sex is life sustaining in a marriage...so let your bad girl out of her cage, Good girls as now you have legal permission to get wild, crazy and experience pure sexual pleasure. Beliefs 4...Everything has to be perfect for me to be in the mood As women we grow up with many items being flashed in front of our undeveloped eyes and then beliefs get created. We see so many movies that include these passionate, romantic, intimate moments that draw us in and make us feel as thou we are missing something in our marriage. The 5 star hotels, the limo, the new dress being sent to her from the most expensive store around only to meet him at the most classiest restaurant in town and then he surprises her with a helicopter on the roof that takes them to Bora Bora so they can get lost in one another and lose all sense of time and space. Romance novels are another big item that can create a vision of romance in our heads and then we feel forever disappointed if this romantic play is not happening every night in our reality. Romance is fabulous and can be a great part of some sexual experiences but not all sexual experiences between you and your husband have to be a 5 star event. Sex is a connection. Sex is something that creates love, understanding, acceptance and trust. Romance is amazing and I am all for creating evenings where the ambiance is perfect, the mood is flourishing as the evening expands, the candles give off the perfect glow and the sexual tension is getting so intense that you feel like a hot , sexy , desired woman that your husband can not wait to devour. These are great moments and are required in a marriage. I am also here to say that there is also a place for a quickie in the bathroom, or an unplanned moment of passion that takes place in the kitchen, or while driving to the market you decide to exchange sexual touches along the way. Sex is something that can be expressed in many ways. Romance is great and should be experienced often. Quick sex is great and should be experienced often. Unplanned sex is great and should be experienced often and unadulterated touches should be happening wherever and whenever you can get away with it. You are married now and you have the right to have and hold and touch and grope as long as you both shall live! Belief 3...Sex is Dirty and Naughty When we are young children and we are discovering our bodies we may be touching parts that make our parents uncomfortable. So in this very moment of discovering our sexuality we are usually yelled at, condemned and made to feel like we are dirty and naughty. We then feel ashamed during this process of self discovery and mixed messages are always flooding our minds in the bedroom. Parents have very strong feeling about sex. When parents are so hush,hush and so ashamed of their sexual selves then their children experience the same conflict of emotions. We experience feeling like sex is good and dirty at the same time. We experience satisfaction with a side dish of shame and guilt. The feeling of shame, guilt, anger and dissatisfaction is not what the bedroom should produce. We should feel excited, passionate, desired, confident, secure and most of all 100% loved and accepted. We get to spend some time looking inward and finding the beliefs that were taught to us in childhood and release the ones that are not serving our marriage. I know that our parents did their best with the knowledge and experiences they had at that time in their life but they are going off of their life experiences and you have different experiences. My Mother experienced childhood abuse and sexual trauma. She was just teaching me how she felt...she wanted to protect me. She loved me and knew that sex in her world was mostly accompanied by emotional hurt and feelings of sadness and sorrow. I love my Mother. I am so glad that I have the ability to share my beliefs and thoughts with her and she is open and more secure then she ever was in my childhood. So I challenge you to take a deep look at where your sexual beliefs came from and if you want to keep this belief any longer. When we have sexual feelings that follow lovemaking and those feelings are dirty, shameful, naughty and create a feeling of sadness then sex will be something that tears your relationship apart. We get to shift our perception. Sex is an act of service, acceptance, vulnerability, playfulness, togetherness, and a passion that only a husband and wife can share. Sex in its purest form is an energy exchange between a husband and wife that can be one of the most amazing spiritual experiences that you will ever achieve in your life. Sex is raw, beautiful, spectacular, passionate and most of all sacred. Dig deep inside your mind and soul and start throwing out all the sexual beliefs that are causing more pain then they are pleasure. Start remembering the sexual being you are. Release the pain, discomfort and embarrassment of sex and replace it with pleasure, confidence and an utter excitement to create the passion and sexual connection that you and your spouse deserve. Before marriage there is a common ritual that takes place, this ritual is a courtship of two souls. During this courtship the two egos engage in a peacock like display. Showing off the best feathers that each has to offer the other. Everything in this mode is easy and flows smoothly. Even arguments are easily diffused by the intense emotion coursing through our bodies and minds. This phase is the LUST phase. A euphoria is experienced like no other euphoria in human existence. This phase only last 6-24 months. After the Lust phase the SERVICE phase must come into play, or your marriage will be on shaky ground. So how do you serve your spouse? Every relationship has a love account. This account is similar to a bank account, if you are constantly making deposits then the account gets bigger and stronger but if you are consistently making withdrawals then soon there is that shocking moment when you open your statement to find 0.01 is the balance. The goal is to have an abundance of love so when rough times hit withdrawals can be made with little or no damage. Couples that get through anything do so because they have a full love account. SERVICE, SERVICE, SERVICE. Many couples feel that the love has died in their relationship but all that has changed is their perception of their spouse. This perception is created as we become selfish and no longer serve one another. Our perception turns to what our spouse doesn't have and what they are not doing. Love means loving the imperfections as much as we love the perfect part of our spouse. Marriage is a commitment to spend FOREVER. Gary Chapman states in his famous book " The 5 love languages" that there are 5 ways to express love and one of these ways speak love to our spouse more then the other 4 ways. Most couples do not have the same love language. The 5 languages are Words Of Affirmation Quality Time Acts of Service Receiving Gifts Physicla Touch We get to find out our spouses love language and speak it often. You may be speaking the wrong language. You may be speakingyour language to your spouse when they really need one of the others. I am attaching his site so you can find out your love language, your spouses and your children. http://www.5lovelanguages.com Divorce is not the answer. The truth is if you get divorce the percentage raises for your second marriage to end 60% chance and third marriage raises to 80% chance. The answer is to fight for your marriage. The answer is service. Love is a verb, love is not selfish, love is giving, love is service! When you learn how to serve in your marriage and continue to work at strengthening your bond then you will find that marriage is blissful, beautiful and secure. You are stating that you will always love this person forever and a day. Serve your spouse in their language and watch your marriage flourish! Jeff Haag Jeff and I have been married for 10.5 years and together for 12. When we first met we would have passionate sex for hours. We were fueled with desire, passion and lust. We spent time serving, caressing and expressing our desire or one another. The desire and lust fueled the sex not the love. Sex filled with lust and desire is hot, exciting and intense but this classification of sex will not last. The lust and desire are the new of sex but soon the lust fades and now what? Jeff and I found ourselves in this position. We loved one another and realized all the great things that other person offers in our marriage( most of the time) but the sex was no longer super hot and exciting. Sex had now become something we placed on our to do list and at times sex didn't even make it on the list for a few weeks or even a whole month. After three children, busy schedules, a house that needed to be clean, chores that needed to get done, a body that was feeling out of shape and not sexy at all...my sexual desire started to disappear. This was painful and damaging to our relationship. I would have to gear up for sex. I would tell myself tonight you are going to be intimate and you will enjoy it. I did enjoy being with Jeff but I now felt disconnected and started feeling a lot of shame and guilt. Sex had become another thing for me to feel sad about. Another thing for me to feel like I am not good enough . I felt like a little girl in an adult body. I felt guilty, shameful and like I was doing something dirty and wrong. My heart ached and my marriage was suffering...emotionally , physically and spiritually. I knew that a strong sexual connection could bring back my emotional connection, my spiritual connection and strengthen my marriage to a point where it flourishes. Sex is critical in a marriage. For Jeff sex creates a feeling of security, love, passion and validation that he can conquer and be the king of his castle. For me sex creates a feeling of connection, happiness, fulfillment and centers me in a place of serenity. I am now Jeff's queen and he is my king and we will rule this kingdom, our home, together. When you are together long enough the lust fades and the hot, exciting, intense sex goes away. You know have a choice. Do you live with just ok sex that you have every once in a while, the kind of sex that leaves you feeling empty and disconnected or do you start digging deep and decide to build the electrifying, soul bonding sexual connection that only a husband and wife that commit to the process can achieve? Jeff and I have the best sexual connection we have experienced in 12 years. Our sexual connection is better then the 4 hrs of lovemaking that we use to achieve when we had the lust so thick you could cut it with a knife. We have an intimate connection that is soul bonding. I have experienced being vulnerable and honest in the bedroom. I have experienced laughter, anger and tears. Sex can and is great therapy for emotional suppression if you are open to the releasing of this emotion in such an intimate moment. Sex is a creation process. Sex is a man and woman who truly and deeply care about one another exchanging energy and being open to the creative process of becoming one. The bible says it best: Genesis 2:24~ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Sex is and will be full of excitement, desire and burning passion. We have to release our beliefs that we have created or they have been created for us. We have to open up our locked vault and replace all the items that have no value with thoughts and beliefs of sexual satisfaction. We are sexual beings and when we are sexually satisfied our entire state of being shifts and we perceive things in a whole new way. I have really appreciated my personal journey. I had no idea that my story and experience would be reaching other women and couples all around the world. For example I had a woman email me and thank me for stepping out and sharing something so personal as she to experienced feelings of sexual disconnection and she felt very drawn to watch all my videos and appreciates my honesty and commitment. She now is taking small steps to increase the sexual connection in her marriage. We focus on the sexual connection between a husband and wife. We feel that the sexual connection controls 95% of emotions in a marriage. We know that this may be uncomfortable to address but sex that creates emotional satisfaction will create stability in a marriage. I will show you a step by step a how-to map. So lets look into the 5 beliefs that may have been created in childhood that are not serving you in the bedroom. Beliefs 1 and 2 are already released in this blog page! Like our New facebook page Marriage Mastery Academy and we will give you this EBOOK for FREE! http://www.facebook.com/MMA4ALL On average a woman thinks of sex once a day while a man
on average thinks about sex once every 56 seconds. This is amazing and very eye opening on how woman and men are so different in the sex department of a marriage. While woman are thinking about schedules, work, house cleaning and all the things that need to get done for the children, men are thinking about sex every 56 seconds. That is around 1,028 thoughts a day(16 hrs awake)...that's right a day about sex. No wonder our men are feeling so disconnected and discouraged. Imagine if we thought about sex once every 56 seconds every single day and not coming home to a excited, passionate husband. We would be upset and feel like he does not love us. We would probably shut down and not know how to act or how to respond to our spouse. So I call all us women into action to remember that our husbands minds work so differently. I am not saying that every night you have to throw your husband down and pounce on him although if that is what you are feeling you should do... then by all means do it! What I am saying is to start committing to being intimate at least every other day for a month. You will start to love and long for the sexual connection and your husband will be walking on water. We get to feel more comfortable connecting to our husbands on a sexual level. We get to assist them in filling excited and fulfilled in their marriage. Sex is amazing and the more we commit to creating the passion and fire in the bedroom the better our marriage will be and the happier our husbands will be~ Cameo Haag Check out this article I co wrote with Kimberly Giles 50% of this advice comes right out of my E book. I co wrote this article with Kimberly Giles, who has appeared on both national and local TV and radio as an advice guru and was named one of the top 20 "advice gurus" in the country by Good Morning America in 2010. She is the owner of Clarity Point Coaching! This article is also featured on KSL today http://www.ksl.com/?sid=19165966&nid=1010&title=lifeadvice-not-enough-intimacy-in-your-marriage&s_cid=queue-3 Jeff and Remy out Camping A Mans Best Friend...Is it really his dog? We have all heard the phrase " a dog is a mans best friend". Have you ever thought ...Why is that? Why does the phrase not say " a wife is a mans best friend"? After some thought I arrived to this conclusion. After watching our black lab, Remy, greet Jeff (my husband and knight in shining amour) when he comes home I now really see why this phrase is still around. It is not so much that Remy is really his best friend but the emotions Remy shows when Jeff arrives home is what men love so much. A dog has no expectations, no complaints, no demands, no long drawn out stories just 100% pure love and excitement. Remy is jumping up and down, wagging her tail with anticipation and excitement, rubbing herself all over the bottoms of Jeff's legs and pouncing with her front paws up on his chest to show how much she loves him and how much she wants to play with him. Now lets place ourselves into this scenario. Imagine your husband walking through the front door and instead of just saying "Hi". You take the time to walk over and give him a big hug and kiss. Ask him if you can get him anything and then offer to take his shoes off in an act of service (breathe through your mouth if you have to). Tell him how thankful you are that he went to work today and that you appreciate everything he does to take care of you and the family. Then the rest of the evening really focus on being their for him. Take yourself out of the equation and just be there for him! See how you feel after one evening like this. Even if you work as well...still do this. As woman we are nurturers and our husbands want us to show how excited we are to be married to such a wonderful man. We are not an object to be owned but we are the fair maiden that our king fought for to win our hearts. We must remember to take a moment to serve, love, caress and nourish our marriage and our husbands! |
Details
Archives
February 2022
Categories
All
|