 Most women are naturally service oriented. We love to take care of others and show them our love and encouragement. This is an amazing quality to have and share but when it comes to the bedroom...this can often become a frustrating attribute. We can begin to feel that it is taking to long for our spouse to pleasure us and then guilt is created because we don't want him to feel like he is giving so much with nothing in return. When we are feeling stressed in the bedroom then the blood vessels constrict, yes the ones leading to your genitals and this can cause loss of arousal making it harder to orgasm. We get to be open in the bedroom. Tell your spouse how you feel. If you know that you are not feeling like orgasm is going to happen tonight then say something sexy and sweet...such as " oh baby, tonight I want all the focus to be on you. I want to make you my own personal playland but I do not want to orgasm, tonight it is all about you". Stating something similar to this will take the focus off you and your orgasm and place the center of attention onto him. My personal experience is you will end up having an amazing orgasm anyway because you will be relaxed and your man will not be trying so hard. Relaxed sex is the most enjoyable sex that you can experience as a woman. Sex is all about giving and receiving. As a woman, and a woman who loves doing things for others, I love being the giver. I love making my husband the center of my sexual adventure. He loves this as well. I get more turned on by servicing my husband then I do when I do not service him. If receiving in the bedroom is difficult then focus on giving in a way that heats your fire as well. Give your hubby a slow, sexy, extremly erotic massage and tell him he is not allowed to touch you in any way. He will get so excited and turned on this will naturally turn you on as well. Some of us girls may find it difficult to enjoy sexual touch. Start focusing on giving and being the one in control when it comes to sex this will be very liberating. Even if you are extremly shy out in the world when it comes to the bedroom, change it up. You may find being the dominate one in the bedroom is just what your inner diva is begging for. When you become comfortable start allowing yourself to receive in the bedroom. It look me some time and consistant effort to allow myself to feel worthy of receiving in the bedroom without guilt attached. Giving and receiving are both equally important. I found giving to be easier so I started there and slowly allowed receiving to find a place in my heart. Sex is amazing and our husbands want us to be satisfied in the bedroom. They can not do it all on there own. Men are easily pleased in the bedroom( in my experience) and it confuses them that we are not the same. We are wired differently. This wiring can be color coded so we know how to achieve the results we deserve. Open up and decide to be a giver and a receiver. I promise you will not regret it! 60 days to bedroom body will be launched on Nov 1st 2012. I have taken my picture everyday so you soon will see my results and then I will be assisting others in achieving their bedroom body!
0 Comments
 Take a moment and question your beliefs about sex as a woman or a man. As women we receive many messages that state if we love, crave and enjoy sex that we are promiscuous and uncontrollable . Men receive the exact opposite message. Men are expected to have a vigorous sexual appetite wanting sex day and night. Both of these messages become embedded into our sexual thoughts and behaviors, keeping us stuck and unfulfilled. Lets question these beliefs. Is it wrong for me( a woman) to want sex with my husband on a daily basis? Am I over board if I crave being on top of my husband using him for my personal pleasure? Does it make me less of a woman because I like to be dominate in the bedroom? Now for the men...Am I less of a man because I want to roll over and go to sleep when my wife is touching me in a sexual manner? Does the bedroom make you feel like this is another place you have to perform perfectly? Is it wrong for me to want to lay back and have my wife be the dominate one in the bedroom? These are great questions. We get to decide what we like and do not like in the bedroom without any outside influences. If I want to be super dominate in the bedroom I will and I will feel great about it. If I crave having sex with my husband then I will feel and express this emotion with no guilt or shame. As a man it is acceptable to not have the highest sex drive and still be a man. As a man sex does not define who and what you are. We get to question our belief systems we have created around the gender roles in the bedroom. Woman get to become comfortable with their sexuality and sensuality. Men get to become comfortable not being a sexual tiger that is ready to pounce on anything that moves. We decide, individually what we like and do not like in the bedroom. We decide what sexual beliefs serve us and what beliefs are baloney. Become comfortable with yourself and what you have to offer your spouse sexually. Sex does not define you but when we become comfortable in and with our sexuality then we will be librated in our marriage and bedroom! 60 days to bedroom body will be launched on Nov 1st 2012. I have taken my picture everyday so you soon will see my results and then I will be assisting others in achieving their bedroom body!  We can talk all day about how beautiful, wonderful and spiritual sex can be BUT if we do not feel comfortable in our own skin then sex is missing something. That something is self love and self acceptance and without this your sex life will always be sub par. Sex is a physical act so our physical bodies become a focus. We get to dig deep and find things about ourselves that we find sexy. Do you have great arms, a sexy butt, built legs or an amazing smile. Tap into the physical part of yourself that you feel secure with and build on that. Having sex with the lights off is not the answer. Becoming confident in and with your body is! Take steps daily to affirm to yourself that your are beautiful and amazing. Affirm that your body is healthy, fit, vibrant and sexual. Then take action to create this body. Start eating for your internal body and not your taste buds. Take a walk, jog or run. Lift weights and you will start to feel empowered and strong. Take action. Small action is better then no action. Drink a lot of water and become the best YOU in and out of the bedroom. When you start seeing small changes in your body, mind and soul you will push harder and get more results. Feeling strong and empowered is important as a woman. We want to feel sexy and sensual with the power to seduce. When our bodies reflect our personality then it is fun to express this with confidence in the bedroom. Take action to create changes in your body so you can feel fit, vibrant, healthy, nourished and be that bedroom bodied babe! 60 days to bedroom body will be launched on Nov 1st 2012. I have taken my picture everyday so you soon will see my results and then I will be assisting others in achieving their bedroom body!  It is so easy to fall into the everyday routine of life and easily forget about the joy of laughing and playing with your spouse. Laughter and playfulness are both great ways to feel more sexually connected to your spouse. When is the last time you wrestled around with your spouse. Fully clothed? When is the last time you laughed so hard together both of your had tears rolling down your face? When is the last time you played cat and mouse around the house, running and jumping ,trying not to get caught by your hubby only to break down in uncontrollable laughter because you are having so much fun? Being playful will strengthen your connection as husband and wife. Being playful will assist you in feeling happy and light hearted. Being playful will create a stronger bond. Being playful will make you remember that this relationship is fun and exciting. Relax into your marriage and enjoy one another. Remember all the fun you use to have and bring some of that back into your marriage. Laughter is the most enjoyable emotion for me. I love to laugh. I love to laugh even more when my husband and I are connecting in a playful way. When we wrestle with one another I can not control my laughter. I am fully present and enjoy the moment. When this connection of laughter and joy are being created...there is a sexual spark. Just a small spark of an intimate connection. No one knows me as well as my husband. He is my friend...he is my best friend and I can be myself around him.... 100% me. He is the one that gets my hopes and dreams. He is the one that loves my silly dance moves that I bust out in the kitchen. He is the one that understands my emotions and my heart. He is the one that I have the most amazing intimate and sexual connection with. Start creating time to laugh and play together. I promise you will be happy, excited and more sexually connected to one another!!!  When it comes to sex you have to decide that you want emotion to be involved. Emotion is so powerful some of us turn it off subconsciously so we will not get hurt. Sex without emotion can be fun and enjoyable BUT if you want that deep sexual connection with your spouse then emotion is a must. Take a moment and ask yourself a few questions to find out if you have turned that emotional connection off.
Do you want to be sexual only afterward you feel empty and unfullfilled? Do you feel like you are not fully present during sex? Do You long for that deep, centered connection with your spouse but never fill like you can achieve it? If you answered yes to any of these questions then you may have shut yourself down emotionally. There are many reasons we do this. We may have had past sexual trauma that have happened to us. We may feel uncomfortable with our bodies so our focus is physical instead of emotional. We may feel disconnected performing the act of sex, a feeling of doing something wrong so we shut down. Sex will never be what we want it to be until we open up emotionally. I personally have experienced all of the above. I have had to go through a process and I am continually going through a process to feel more emotionally connected during sex. Here are a few steps I have personally taken to assist me in breaking down the wall I built that I placed around emotion and sex. When I feel emotional during sex I express that emotion. You will want to tell your partner before hand that this may happen. When I felt angry, I expressed it during the act of sex. When I felt happy, I laughed during sex. When I felt sad, I cried having sex. When I felt playful, I wrestled around with my husband while making love. This is very healing for you and your spouse. Sex is great therapy if you are open and honest. Focus on your spouse. If you have a hard time being touched and caressed, then focus on your spouse. Touch him slowly and gently. Enjoy his beautiful body. Kiss him all over. Tease and please him. This will take the focus off of you and will assist you in breaking through. Tell your husband that you do not want to have an orgasm. You want to enjoy being sexual without the pressure of the end result...Orgasm. You will find yourself being able to relax into sex and may orgasm without effort. Release past traumas. Do this by talking to someone. Or write a letter and burn it, releasing it into the air. Or verbally communicate your feelings out loud to yourself and forgive the trauma for happening. Find a healthy way to release and move through sexual trauma. You deserve to be in a place that emotion can be attached to sex. Be open, honest and real with your spouse. If direct communication is to difficult at first then write a letter and have your spouse read it. Sex is beautiful and even when the sexual emotion has been damaged...all damage can be healed. Push forward and upward and I promise your sexual emotion and connection will get stronger and stronger. I have been through a lot sexually and until I released my emotional blocks I always felt as thou I was missing something.I have now found what I was searching for.I am hear for anyone that wants assistance. Just email me [email protected]  Ok ladies.... Lets take a moment and admit ...We all want to have amazing, erotic sex! The type of sex that leave us feeling satisfied, uplifted and puts a smile on our face and makes us glow for hours. This type of sex does not just come naturally. We get to become stewards over our bodies, mind and spirit. We get to become the sexual, sensual beings we are created to be. Release the shame and guilt that at times accompanies feelings about sex. Use your mind to serve and assist you in feeling more sexual. I was the only girl with 6...yes 6 older brothers. I heard and saw many things sexually when I was growing up. Some have served me and some have not. One thing that has served me is my ability to think sexual thoughts. Not down and dirty thoughts( although I have those as well) but I have the ability to take things that people say and have a sexual thought. When I have a sexual thought I enjoy it. I do not attach shame or guilt to this thought. I allow the thought and then release the thought. Sexual thoughts are healthy. Have you ever heard the saying "it doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you come home to eat"? I do not love this statement but there is truth to it. When you are thinking sexually then it is easier to be sexual. When you are comfortable with your sexual self then having sex with your spouse will be amazing and inspiring. Sex will become fun, exciting, playful and full of satisfaction. Use your mind in a sexual fashion and start receiving the pleasures of being sexually secure. Women have sexual thoughts and they are meant to be enjoyed not ignored. Like the old saying goes..." A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste". I do caution you to becareful using books and erotic films to spark this sexual thought. Our minds are super powerful and these tools can be more damaging then rewarding. You want to feel positive with your sexual thought. I have found that erotic books is a damaging tool for me as my mind gets to involved and then my real sexual life seems like it is lacking something. Find what works for you and be positive about it!  In life consistency is a tool to accomplish all our goals and dreams. When we want to run a marathon, we are consistent in our actions to achieve this goal of running 26.2 miles. When we want to release weight...consistent action is required to achieve the body we deserve. Want to be an exceptional entrepreneur? Consistent action is a must! Creating an amazing sexual connection in a marriage requires the same thought process. Consistency is the GOLDEN TICKET! Become consistent in developing your strengthens and weaknesses in the intimate part of your marriage. Become consistent in having intimate one on one time 3 times a week. Become consistent in learning all you can learn about your body, mind and sexual awareness. Sex is absolutely amazing in so many ways. When we are taking consistent steps forward to become more sexually aware then our intimate life will flourish and we will become more sexually confident. As with any goal you set in place there are ups and downs. There are things that will distract and tempt you. Do not allow this. Stay away from tempting things such as a great book that keeps you distracted all hours of the day and night( Read in moderation), a reality show that makes you feel like your life is so mundane and boring, sugary foods that make you feel lethargic and fat etc. Commit today to take consistent action to become a bright, shining, healthy, vibrant, sexual woman. Take consistent action to reach this goal. Consistent action is the GOLDEN TICKET to AMAZING sex!  I am 35 and I have never read a romance/ erotic type of book. I am a girl who wants to experience things before I make judgment even thou I have read a lot about how destructive these types of books can be. After all the talk about 50 shades of grey I thought now would be a great time to see what these books are all about. I bought the trilogy and dove into book number one. The book is 506 pages and it took me about a week to read it. This book is very well written. It amazed me how talented the author is. How someone can write in such detail...amazing. What is NOT amazing is how awful it made me feel. I am in a great marriage with an amazing man and I have an amazing sex life but this book made me feel as I am missing something. This book made me feel like I am missing Christian Grey. I know that my subconscious was unable to understand that I was reading these word and this was not really happening to me. I feel ,as a woman married or not, these type of books are more destructive then porn. I have seen porn in my life and I never had the thought " I wish I was that girl...I wish I had her life" but when I was reading this book I was wishing I was Anastasia Steele. I found my subconscious mind clinging to this want. This want of seduction, adventure and complete intenseness. The want of having someone that wants me so bad sexually he would do anything to be with me. The want to be dominated in the bedroom when really I would never want to be spanked with a leather belt 6 times. NEVER! I have now had my own personal experience reading a romance, erotic type of book and can speak from first hand knowledge. DO NOT READ THESE TYPES OF BOOKS if you want an amazing sexual connection with your spouse. Your spouse is real. They have real love, real wants and desires and real life issues. No one can live up to the expectation of a fantasy man or woman. Christian Grey is not real...Anastasia Steele is not real. Marriage and a great sexual connection with chemistry is real. Start focusing on connecting to your spouse in every way. Fantasy has no place in your marriage. IMAGINATION...this is something that does have a place in your marriage. Use your OWN imagination to create new and exciting adventures in your bedroom. Use your own wants and desire and brings these to life in the bedroom. Write your own erotic book with you and your husband as the characters and then act these scenes out. Get open and get real with one another but my opinion on romantic novels is definitely...2 thumbs down!! |
Archives
February 2022
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed
