I have felt moments of vulnerability!
I have felt moments of electric pleasure!
I have felt moments of anger!
I have felt moments of sadness!
I have felt moments of sure joy!
I have felt moments where Jeff and I feel as one!
I also have felt....
I have felt moments of nothingness!
I have felt moments of numbness!
I have felt moments of disconnection!
I have felt moments of resentment!
I have felt moments of please do not f@*king touch me!
I have felt moments of being completely shut down!
How can I feel the most electrifying, satisfying, soul awakening experience during this practice one day and then feel distant, numb and disconnected the next day during the practice?
Day 9-20 have been so amazing
I have finally in a place where I can ask for an OM session and feel excited about receiving instead of having all this running commentary in my brain. I am allowing myself to feel again. I am allowing myself to receive. I am allowing myself to awaken to all the sensations in my body.
For years I choose to shut down sensations I felt in my body. I thought I was doing myself a service so I did not have to experience pain but when I shut down my ability to feel painful sensations I also shut of my ability to feel sensations that create amazing pleasure.
The sensations we feel in our body is what we are all longing for. The sensation of this soft energy that we can feel radiating throughout our bodies. The sensations of a humming bird fluttering around our genitals and then expanding up into our bellies and gently landing on our heart. I knew this existed. I knew that we are energetic beings with the power to feel amazing sensations in our bodies.
This practice is awakening these sensations in my body. I have felt the sensation of yummy, soft pleasure radiating through my belly into my heart space. I have felt the sensations of entrapment. Wanting to expand but my energy field would not allow it. I have felt the sensation of the most orgasmic, sunshine feeling inside my soul and I got lost in this space for a few moments.
Orgasmic Meditation is the best practice for awakening the sexual soul. It has provided the space for me to feel safe, loved, supported and completely accepted.
I love sharing this journey with you all.