Have you ever been deeply hurt ?
Have you ever experienced emotional trauma? Have you ever seen something that changed your earthly life forever? Have you witnessed or experienced intense sexual pain? I ask you these questions because these experiences will show up in the bedroom. For years I completely numbed myself from feeling pleasure. The first few years of my life were the scariest years of my life. My mother, who I love and forgive, was married to an abusive alcoholic. There was constant fighting and intense physical abuse in our home. These are the years that we discover our sense of self. What I discovered in these moments forever changed my life. I am now 39 and some of these emotions still arise. If the first man in our life was a man that completely terrified us then it is really hard to allow ourselves to be vulnerable with any man. We can be kind of vulnerable but we never will fully allow our guard to be released until we allow ourselves to trust again. Here are 3 steps we can take to break down the guarded gate and start receiving the pleasure we deserve.
Sex in marriage is what you make of it. You can choose to shut down and close shop or you can choose to feel through the pain and get to the pleasure. We must feel all our emotions so we can experience the pleasure that is our birthright. Start your journey today. Reach out to me as I love working with people on their healing journey.
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While I am looking at this picture I am reminded of the huge amount of tension I once held in my hips.
My hips were in a protective mode . A mode of safety and mistrust. A mode of insecurity and betrayal. A mode of fear and feelings of being unlovable. As women, our hips hold so much of our life story. Our hips hold the very energy of our sexual experiences. If our life was carved out of emotions and those emotions are things like, abandonment, betrayal, shame, guilt, rejection and disgust ( just to name a few) then our hips will be tight. Our hips will be unable to sway like the ocean and become something more like a trapped door. We want them to release. We want them to open but the key is hidden deep within our soul and we may be afraid to open that door. The woman's hips are absolutely amazing and can allow sexual energy to be freed. We must dedicate ourselves to loving our hips again. Loving the feminine essence of who we are as women. We get to decide to sway our hips. When we walk we should lead with the pelvis. When we lead with the pelvis this automatically allows the hips to become more flowing. Our hips can move mountains when it comes to connecting to our sexual self. Blocking the flow of sexual energy starts with the vulva, usually a numbing of , so we can not feel pain or pleasure. Then we immobilize the hips. This way we make sure our sexual energy is locked away safely where it will no longer cause us pain. The thing is when we shut ourselves of from pain we also shut ourselves off from pleasure. We can not pick and choose what feelings we would and would not like to feel. We get to decide to feel deep emotions , both beautiful l and painful. We get to release emotions that are trapped in the hips and awaken to the truth that we are absolutely amazing, sexual, feminine creatures. Allow your hips to move. Here are a few exercises you can do to release the tension.
Reach out to me for an emotion code session. This is an energy healing work that is absolutely amazing. How do you feel about yourself? How do you feel about your body? How do you feel about your sexual energy? How do you feel about your sexual beliefs? How do you feel about receiving love? How do you feel about giving love? How do you feel about your past sexual experiences? How do you feel about your current sexual experiences? How do you feel about your willingness to be vulnerable? How do you feel about men? How do you feel about women? How do you feel about receiving pleasure?
I could go on and on with amazing questions that will provide valuable insight when it comes to expressing ourselves sexually. These are amazing questions that deserve to be answered with intense emotion and deep feeling. The answers to these questions will awaken us to the belief systems that we have in place and the perceptions that keep us trapped. When it comes to expressing ourselves in a sexual way we deserve to know ourselves on a deeper level. We deserve to know our deepest fears. We deserve to know our greatest pleasures. We deserve to understand the workings of our mind, body and soul. We deserve to open up to the universe and release all the beliefs that are causing a block when it comes to one of the greatest gifts God gave us, and that is the gift of sexual pleasure. When we take the time to answer the 11 questions above we will find ourselves removing all the masks that we have placed one on top another to hide who we truly our. The masks that keep us trapped. The mask that keep us hidden. The mask that keep us bundled up with fear. Answering these 11 questions with depth and purity will allow our wings to expand and we will finally be able to embrace all that we are and all that we long to be. We are sexual beings. When we adopt beliefs, thoughts and perceptions that are not in alignment with our truest and highest self we feel conflicted. When we feel conflicted we block off emotions. We can not pick and choose the emotions we want to shut off. So when we block off emotions we block them all. We shut them all down. This is when we become numb and sex turns into something that we have to do instead of get to do. Take time and answer these questions. Dig deep. Be true. Open up. Release the lies. Most of the thoughts, beliefs and perceptions we have about our sexual self do not even come from us. We have heard statements. We have seen images. We consume media. We read articles. We create an alter ego of our sexual self. Decide today to release your sexual ego. When we take steps to become authentic in our sexual wants, desires, beliefs and expressions then we open up to who we truly are at a deep level. To be comfortable inside our sexual energy is absolutely amazing and extremely liberating. This process of releasing will cause pain and sadness. It will create emotional highs and lows. It will feel exciting and terrifying at the same time. When we go deep within our emotional body we will experience happiness and sorrow. STOP running from this. STOP running from your emotions. STAY...BREATH...DIG DEEP and find the root cause . We are emotional beings and the emotions we have about our sexual self will allow us to experience intense pleasure or the emotions we have about our sexual self will allow us to feel utterly disconnected and extremely frustrated. Start doing internal work today to create the emotional shifts that will allow you to experience your sexual self in the most spiritual uplifting way. Tapping into your sexual energy does create a whirlwind of intense emotion. Feel this emotion. Breath this emotion. Move with this emotion and then move through this emotion. Allow yourself to receive all that comes to you when you are healing the sexual soul. Don't fight it. It won't be easy and it can activate masked pain but I promise you that when you choose to heal the sexual soul you choose to know yourself deeper, purer and more authentic then you ever expected. Reach out to me if you are interested in coaching with me or scheduling an emotional release session. This is extremely healing and will assist with your sexual awakening. When it the last time you have allowed yourself to let loose and really lose yourself in movement?When is the last time you have looked in the mirror and slowly caressed your body while moving sensually at the same time? When it the last time you thought " Damn, I am so sexy"? Body movement has the power to awaken our sexual souls. Movement has been used for centuries to inspire, empower, give thanks , bring rain and seduce. Movement has been used to connect the body to the mind and the mind to the spirit. Movement has the power to release stagnant energies and bring alive energies that we have suppressed.
As women we hold so much feminine power in our hips. The hips are created to sway back and forth. Like a ship at sea, the hips should be free moving, easily flowing, captivating to the naked eye and should create the feeling that we are the captain of our very own sexual voyage. When we can get down into our sexual energy and feel the pull of Mother earth, she will whisper to us and remind us that we have the power of seduction and sensuality. We are the woman of the world and when we lean into our birthright and remember that we are soft, sensual, erotic beings then we will allow ourselves to connect to the power of.... Our own dance. I am truly captivated when I see any woman dance erotically. Her beauty, her movement, her expression, her awareness, her knowing that she is truly a divine being sharing her sexual energy, When I see women dance like this it reminds me too, that I have that same yummy power inside of me. She is longing to be expressed and she craves to be acknowledged. This power lays in our hips just waiting to be resurrected. When I hear certain songs I feel this energy building up in me. The sexual energy, the feminine power, the erotic dancer inside of me. She wants to be let out ,she wants to dance under the stars with soft music or she want to hit it hard and be the sexy vixen she is. Movement is a must. When we express ourselves sexually our body is the vessel we must feel comfortable in. If we can't feel comfortable with dance then we will be rigid and stiff in the bedroom. Awaken your sexual self and allow your hips to move and sway. Listen to yummy music that makes you feel erotically charged. Touch your body. Let your hands be like your lovers hand while you are listening to some sexy music. Close your eyes and allow your body to move the way it wants to move. No judgment. Just love and movement. We must get comfortable with body movement. We deserve to shine and receive the sexual pleasure that we are meant to receive. Body movement classes coming soon! When it comes to sex it is all about our own personal sexual energy. We must take time and allow this energy to open up, expand and explore the depths of our sensual expression. Many past experiences can really trap this sexual energy and when our sexual energy becomes trapped we start feeling depressed, guilty, shameful, alone and rejected. When our sexual energy becomes small and almost non existent, we become bitter and we will create problems inside our marriage as well as problems in every other relationship of our life. I am not saying that we have to be sexually expressing ourselves 24/7, but I am saying if we allow ourselves to shut off and shut down then we will feel the same thing happen in our outside world. We will become shut off and then we will shut down.
Here are 5 things that will assist all of us in embracing our sexual side.
Sexual energy is absolutely amazing when it is flowing. Just the other day I felt orgasmic energy just from my husband placing his hand on top of my vulva. It was amazing and also a bit strange. I could have easily censored this but I didn't and it felt absolutely amazing. We deserve to feel amazing in the bedroom. We deserve to feel orgasmic energy. We deserve to feel safe, confident and secure in our sexual expression of who we are. We are all amazing and we all deserve to feel the sensual energy of satisfaction in the bedroom. Reach out to me if you would like some emotional release work done. This can release old and heavy energies allowing us the ability to get our sexual energy flowing again. My husband and I met 16 years ago today. We have had some amazing times and we have had some tragic times. We have experienced happiness, joy and excitement as well as experienced sadness, pain and tears. We have loved each other so deeply and we have hated each other so passionately. We have grown and expanded as well as put walls up and manned the tower. We have had nights of pleasure and passion and we have had nights of loneliness and despair. We have felt the euphoric feelings of love and we have felt the dark feelings of anger. We have seen each others light and we have seen each others darkness. Through this all we have learned a few things. Here they are!
Marriage is what we create it to be. Decide today to construct your marriage with all the beautiful things it deserves. Nickelback S.E.X I absolutely love music. It has always been something that has truly moved me spiritually, emotionally and yes ...sexually. While I was working out this morning this song came on Pandora. As I listened to the lyrics I felt my yummy sensual energy. Music if we allow it to can really awaken our sexual energy. I have always loved listening to sexual music. When I was younger I loved R & B. I enjoyed the smoothness of the sound with the under tone of seduction. I loved POP music in my teens as it allowed me to move my body in sexy ways and tap into my inner diva. I enjoyed country as it would awaken me to deep love and deep loss. I enjoyed hardcore rap as it activated my inner anger and my deep longing to be wanted by a man so badly. I loved naughty by nature and too short. Even now, I am 38 and I enjoy all the different varieties of music. Music moves our souls. We can be moved to tears. We can be moved to happiness. We can be moved to cold chills. We can be moved to feel disgust. We can be moved to feel like dancing. We can be moved and tap into our sexual essence. Music is so powerful. I suggest today to find music that activates, awakens and inspires your sexual soul. Take some time and find some music that inspires you sexually. Not music that you feel is socially acceptable. I am talking about music that awakens that inner diva. That goddess inside. You know the girl I am talking about. We have all seen a woman move to music in such a sensual and erotic way and have secretly longed to be able to move like her. This is the music I am talking about. The music that makes you feel like ...Oh yeah, I am a sexy , sensual , erotic and exotic feminine creature. I can move my body in a way that allows me to connect to who I am and transforms me into a work of art. The female body is a work of art and music can enhance the art. Music is yummy. Music is sexy. Music is sensual. Music can make us connect to parts of ourselves that we have shut down for years. Now that you have found some sexy music add movement to it. Music and movement. What a beautiful combination. I am not suggesting that you become an exotic dancer but I am suggesting that you tap into that part of yourself. All of us women have the capability of moving our bodies in super delicious way. Listen to sensual music and move slowly and seductively. I promise you will become aware of how beautiful you truly are. When we are married and we have children it is so easy to forget the power of the feminine essence. Tap back into her. You deserve it. The feminine essence of who you are as a woman wants to be embrace and empowered. You may feel funny at first but with some time and some consistent effort you will flourish and feel satisfied. Here are some of my favorite yummy sexy songs Sexy Can I by Ray J Smack that by Akon Dance with me by 112 I wanna love you by Akon... (I prefer the explicit version which says F@*k you instead of love!) Porn star dancing by My darkest days Touch my body by Mariah Carey Dance like we are making love by Ciara Here are just a few of my favorites. Some of my songs may be a bit over the top for you but find a few of your own and allow yourself to move slowly and seductively. I promise music and movement will awaken your feminine, sexual, sensual essence! Have you ever wanted to get a Bikini wax? Have you had thoughts and worries that you might not like the way your vulva looks? Have you thought that maybe you would feel like a 10 year old girl again? Have you wanted to try it but just didn't dare? I am here to share my experience with this! First of all European wax offers a complimentary wax for first time visitors. The bikini line is free but if you want the full frontal bikini or a Brazilian bikini wax you just pay the difference. If you are shy at all then this will be an exciting experience for you. After you check in and meet your waxing specialist, the two of you go into a very well lite room. As the specialist walks over to her station to prepare she will ask you to take off your clothes from the waist down and lay on the table. So you are in a room, with a stranger, laying on a table, naked from the waist down, nervous and excited. The specialist then clarifies what you are wanting and walks you through the process of the waxing so you feel more relaxed and a bit more comfortable. Then she will ask you to put your legs into a butterfly position. If you felt a little shy before this will really get you out of your comfort zone. She will then apply this special wax. The wax will harden and then she will ask you to take a deep breathe and then pull it off quickly. There is pain involved but it dissipates quickly. When you are ripping the hair out by the roots it is going to be painful but when you are ripping the hair out all around your vulva you are hoping it will be worth it. The process only takes about 10- 15 minutes and it not to bad. The specialist are all very professional and really do a great job. So now you are done and it is time to put your pants back on. When you arrive back home be prepared for your husband to be excited. He will be acting like a little kid at Christmas just dying to unwrap you so he can see your new shiny package.16 years together and I had butterflies. Doing something new in the sexual arena is so fun and it will increase the connection you and your husband have with one another. Here are 5 reasons I love to have a waxed vulva!
I am not suggesting that you always keep her naked but I am suggesting that you try this, just once and see how you feel. You may love it and you may hate it but you will never know until you do it. Sex and sexual energy is a must in marriage if you want to feel happy, satisfied and fulfilled. Doing new things will create newness inside the marriage. Wax your vulva! You may love it! Have you ever experienced an emotional release while you were in the act of sex? Have you ever felt pain in your vaginal area from deep penetration? Have you ever felt like you want to emotionally disconnect during sex ? I wanted to share an experience I had just a few days ago. It was early in the morning and I decided to take a shower. My husband decided to surprise me with the presence of him joining me. Things were getting steamy. Sexual energy was in the air. We kissed, caressed and showered each other with sensual intimacy. It was hot, spicy and super exciting. Some deep vaginal penetration happened and BAM!!!!! Here is what I experienced. All of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach. It was such an intense sensation I had to crouch down in the shower. I started shaking and dry heaving. I had to take deep breathes and then rush myself over to the trash can as I felt like I was going to physically get sick. This sensation stayed with me for about 3-4 minutes and then whola! It was completely gone. This was an emotional release. I have held so much pain, shame and guilt in my vaginal area that some of it released with deep penetration.(My husband was super supportive and loved me through my emotional release process). Energy and emotional experiences are stored in the body. They can be stored in the joints, muscles, organs and most sexual energy is stored in the vagina and or penis. This energy must be released in order to have orgasmic sex. If heavy energy is in the sexual organs then we will become guarded and we will not be able to relax enough to achieve a deep orgasmic state. Since my emotional shower release I have felt orgasmic energy while doing everyday task. I can now feel a sexual energy in my vaginal area while I am working out or driving in the car. It really feels very amazing. If stagnant energy is blocking our ability to express our sexual wants and desires than we will feel sad, depressed and unhappy inside our marriage. I have felt this inside my marriage and I can tell you that working on our sexual self in the best thing we can do to create a deep connection and long lasting happiness inside these sacred vows. Sex is something that we must take seriously and work on becoming the sensual goddesses and warriors we are. We deserve to have great sex and to feel yummy about ourselves. We deserve to wake up connected to our sexual self. This is something that will absolutely change the way we operate on a daily basis. There may be some painful experiences as most of us are holding onto energy that keeps us from expressing our sexual soul. Here are 3 things I would suggest to do to awaken and release your blocked energy.
We are sexual beings. I want and crave amazing sex. I crave an intimate connection to myself and with my husband that is so deep and so expressive. I want to be vulnerable and I want to be orgasmic. I love being sexual inside my marriage. We have been together for 16 years next month and sex is still something that is always on my mind and always on my husbands mind. It may have created sadness and tears at times and it has also created electric moments of blissful yumminess. I am not saying it is easy but I am saying it is worth it. To have amazing sex and feel comfortable expressing yourself sexually is one of the greatest things in life. Great sex is our birthright. Start your journey today. The Christmas season is the busiest time of year for my parents business. I have offered to assist them during the month of December so they don't have to work so hard. They do Construction cleaning so it is not an easy job. Movement is a huge part of the business so you are never and I mean never just sitting or standing around. So many people want to be in their new home for Christmas so my parents go in and make the inside of the house ready for these families to live in. When you walk into the home it is a disaster but with hard work and some soap and water...whola , it is bright, shiny and ready for some new family love.
While I was cleaning a house yesterday the smoke detector kept saying " Low battery". It said it over and over and over and over again for the whole 4 hours we were there. I thought it was annoying but it also created this question inside my brain. How many of us want to have a marriage with amazing sex but we just keep saying " Low battery...low battery...low battery..."? This comes in the form of emotional distress, depression, disgust, despair, insecurities and so many other feelings that create the feeling of LOW BATTERY. The only way to get that smoke detector to stop saying " Low Battery" over and over again is to replace her batteries. Once she has a new fresh pair of batteries she will be content and ready for her day. When she starts to feel drained , she will start saying " Low Battery" over and over again. Our emotional state inside our marriage reminds me of this smoke detector. It is easy to just sit and want someone else to replace your batteries but this will never create happiness and growth. When we look to our spouse to replace our batteries we will most likely feel disappointed because even if they send flowers, plan a romantic date or do the dishes, the receptionist will not be there to receive them in the full manner she should because someone else can not produce your own inner happiness. We must work on and take action to replace our batteries. We must decide to move forward and through some emotional pain so we can show up fully and receive all the beauty our marriage has to offer. When we take on our own self and make it a point to have fresh batteries then we will feel excited, happy, peaceful and presence inside our skin. When we have fresh batteries we can empower our marriage and become the receptionist. We will be able to see, feel and know the beauty of fresh flowers being brought home to us. Dishes being done for us and a romantic vacation being planned for us. When we take action and become connected to our feminine nature we will flourish and add absolute value to our marriage. We also get to replace our sexual batteries. When it comes to the bedroom it is really easy to say " LOW BATTERY" over and over and over again. This is so damaging. Sex is such an amazing expression of love and pleasure. Sex is giving and receiving at the same time. Sex is energy that can be expressed in many different forms. Sex can be soft and gentle or sex can be hard and rough. Sex can be enjoyed for hours or sex can take 10 minutes. Sex can be a you give and I will receive exchange or sex can be we will both give and both receive exchange. Sex can be full of passion and pleasure or sex can be full of sadness and pain. Sex can be full of emotion and sex can also feel emotionless. The duality of sex can be a beautiful thing is we can become emotionally safe inside our body. The bedroom is a place where we must take action and have FRESH BATTERIES. I know sex can bring us so many painful emotions but if we don't take action and process through these emotions then we will always be repeating " Low Battery...Low Battery...Low Battery..." Marriage is hard and Marriage is amazing. We get to choose everyday how we want to show up inside our marriage. We also get to choose how we show up with and in our sexual energy. Choose to have Fresh Batteries. You deserve it. You are amazing and deserve to have a marriage that is full of passion, pleasure, peace and prosperity. |
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